Turning an anti gun person on to guns

[JP from Phoenix]

I kind of have a dilema, my girlfriend hates guns I've been trying to turn her on to the idea of me having one. She is Japanese and has never even seen a gun in real life. Weve been doing the long distance thing for years now her perseption of america is kind of diluted as you can imagine. We visit eachother every couple of months and we are gonna get married in the next year or 2

My main problem is she doesnt know I already have a gun lol and plan to get more. I need to make her alright with me having one so I can let it out the bag without her getting too ticked off. I dont want her to come out here and find out a have 3 or 4 pistols and it turn into a big argument over nothing. She threatned me with if i get one she wont move out here and all this stuff, which is probably an empty threat since she said the same thing about me getting a cat lol, We had a pretty big arguement about that bc she said shes allergic but it blew over. I have 2 cats at the house when she visited she was fine. I dont know why this has to be such a big issue, IMO it shouldnt be a big deal. I'm waiting for her to make some ridiculous impulse buy like these 1000 dollar boots she wants to drop the bomb on her

[General Geoff]

The most effective way to turn an anti into a gunny is to take 'em to the range.

[Slotback]

Yep. Get her to the range. Start her off with a .22

[yesit'sloaded]

I'm waiting for her to make some ridiculous impulse buy like these 1000 dollar boots she wants to drop the bomb on her

Sorry, but that sounds like a great way to NOT persuade her. My girlfriend suggests pink ear protection and a cute range bag. She also says to keep her away from Mosins, but she's just a Ruger pistol snob that doesn't like milsurps. I would start by finding out why she hates guns. Guns kill, hurt things, are dangerous, and are for criminals are all easy things to overcome by a nice trip to a range with non scary guns (.22 rifles, .22 revolvers,and the like) to learn on. Emphasis the sport of it and don't use human shaped targets at first. My girlfriend just chimed in that skeet make good non threatening targets that offer a reward of breaking visually and that she finds putting holes in paper boring. She also suggests the spinning type of .22 targets. After she learns the basics she will see why the AR with a 100 round drum is no more deadly than a single shot .22.

[coelacanth]

tell her about her proud Samurai heritage and that Honjutsu(the art of cannonry) is the precursor of your interest in firearms and should be hers as well.

[Ian Sean]

I have helped "turn" a few folks over the years.

Recipe:

1. Start small, .22's, handguns with light "plinking" loads...small carbines (M-1, pistol caliber carbines, low recoil stuff in general).

2. Don't berate, get loud, or go on a political rant...be calm and state facts and TEACH.

3. First time out if you can...another female shooter really helps!

4. Keep the targets close, so they can really SEE what they are shooting at and hitting. +1 to yesit'sloaded for spinners.

5. Praise, Praise and more Praise!...even if they aren't doing to well.

6. Make the experience a fun one as much as possible.

[Mauserguy]

"Weve been doing the long distance thing for years now her perseption of america is kind of diluted as you can imagine. We visit each other every couple of months and we are gonna get married in the next year or 2"


Alright, I have to tell you that your issues are not guns. There is a big cultural gap between Japan and the US. Your girlfriend needs to spend a lot of time here, acclimating to our culture, before you even contemplate marriage. I know a few things about this. My wife is Korean, and you have to understand the culture gap very well before making a commitment.

Go slow in your relationship. Take your time, and give her every opportunity to learn about America.
Mauserguy

[Thegungal]

In most cases, the best way to change someones mind about doing someting that is fun is to get them to go and do it. As others have said, take her shooting.

You can use the first hand knowledge as a basis for the slow building process. (You are not going to change minds over night)

"Did you have fun?"
"You where around a lot of armed strangers and they were having fun as well"
"We follow safety rules when we drive and that is more dangerous than guns, as you can see safety rules when we use guns work the same way"

[xpun8]

+1 for everything posted. Go to the range, make a date of it. It took me a few times with my wife before she shot, the kicker was her seeing her friend shoot. It was a double date. Now we have a blast at the range together, the only real downside it the cost of ammo for two of us.

[Never No More]

A lot of asians are anti-gun. You might want to find another gal that likes them. OR be up front with the one you have, right off the bat.

My wife is Asian, and she is scared to death of firearms. The first time she saw a real handgun, my bud whipped out his Desert Eagle and popped a few 50 cal rounds out his back door.

I told her before she ever came here, I had firearms, and would be teaching her how to use them.

She goes to the range and gun shows with me. I still cant get her to drive the car. Something about us dam Yanks driving on the wrong side of the road!

[Browns Fan]

Compromise... tell her you'll get rid of the cats for the guns. Problem solved!

[cambeul41]

Before anyone asks how anyone stops being Japanese, the answer is simple: by becoming something else. In her case, by becoming a flag waving, small-l libertarian, pistol packing American.

Most of what follows has been excerpted from my first THR post and is an example of what can happen rather than a lesson on how to make it happen.

My wife was, until about three years ago, a hoplophobe; but I work in Detroit. After a particularly murderous weekend there, during a particularly murderous month, she decided that, despite her fear of guns, she wanted me to carry. She also decided to join me in the CCW class because she believes that we should do whatever we can together.

The required range time stressed her out almost totally. After passing the class, she told me that although she knew she needed practice, she did not know how much she could tolerate.

She will tell you that her change of mind was a result of 9-11, but I think something else was a significant factor. A couple of months later, in peaceful a suburban park near a police station, a maniac rushed at her with a club. Before he struck, he saw me coming to her defense and backed off. No one was hurt, but she then understood that danger can come at any time and anyplace.

After taking the class but before that attack, we had visited gun stores shopping around for what “we” wanted. We felt no sense of urgency. She still feared guns and I had to hold her wrist and insert each gun into her hand before she would even hold it. Of course, the male salesmen suggested revolvers and mouse guns. They all seemed to agree that she should not consider anything more powerful than 9 mm.

Finally, on a business trip to Tennessee, upon hearing that she was gun shopping, a contact took her to a private shooting range where he and some others let her try a variety of hand guns and long guns. She discovered that she was no longer afraid to shoot anything, and she fell in love with a .40 cal Glock 23. Now she has and her own although her current carry-gun is an XD-9

A follow-up to this came early in 2005 when she was interviewing for a new job. She was told the job was stressful and was asked what she did to relieve stress. She answered that she liked to walk the dog and read; but when she was severely stressed, she liked to go to the shooting range and practice. To her, now, the range is a place of Zen-like calm and tranquility. Yes, she got the job, and now she manages to work references to, and lessons about, guns and shooting into frequent business presentations.


Be sure to check out Pax’s website: http://corneredcat.com/.

[40SW]

You must first understand as stated earlier that there is certainly a tremendous cultural gap between the two of you. Japanese civilian gunowership is practically non existent. Japan has some of the most draconian anti gun legislation on the planet. It is a very conformist society for the most part and runs counter to America's individualistic frontier self determination spirit, with exceptions of course.
Education in a non threatening and gradual way is the key. Be 100% open and honest. Tell her that you own firearms, tell her why, teach her safety and responsibility, take her to the range, have her trained by a qualified individual, sometimes an objective third party is better than some one biased by emotion, take her to the range to observe first, use training aids with dummy rounds, have her join this forum and read it.
Ultimatly, in relationships that I have had, it has never worked out well if one of the parties is not pro RKBA. Its a recipe for disaster, I have had students where one party , ie husband/boyfriend was pro and the other against, its an important part of our lives, liberty, and personal protection, and also from the standpoint of safety, both parties need to be onboard, situations where she may visit you or sleep over, the guns are present and personal protection firearms are ready to go, you cannot have an untrained party there for safety reasons. You must act to educate her quickly.
I have had numerous relationships with women and it has never worked out with those who I discovered to be against RKBA. It is a big part of my life and a conviction that I hold dear, I can compromise on alot, but not this.
Afterall, in a tactical situation, If I am down, I expect her to come to my resucue just as much as she expects me to come to hers. Its gotta be reciprocal. There has to be synergy, without it, it will not work.
So start out gradually and proceed with education and exposure, but don't rush, having said that, a desire to learn cannot be transplanted into her like a new organ, if you find that she is not receptive, then you need to make a choice, I made mine based on experience, but in matters of love and emotion, things are not always so clear cut. Let us know how it develops.

[JKimball]

My main problem is she doesnt know I already have a gun lol and plan to get more. I need to make her alright with me having one so I can let it out the bag without her getting too ticked off.

Did you tell her you don't have any guns, or did you just not tell her that you have a gun? That is a problem. I'd guess that you need to just tell her that you already have one, and that you've had it for however long you have. In her mind, she may like who you are but be afraid that you'll be different as a gun owner, that somehow getting a gun will change you. She needs to know that you already are a gun owner.

[Rob87]

I would tell her you want to educate her on the matter so she can make an informed decision.

I think it's more important to decide that you want nothing to do with guns once you've considered both sides of the issue.

I don't think the issue is turning her into one of "us:" those who own, intend to own, or are in favor of gun ownership. Again, I stress the importance of education on the matter.

Take her to the range, and teach her to shoot something "non-threatening," such as something that's easy to use, and doesn't have the recoil of a cannon.

(I don't shoot yet, so I'm guessing that'd be a .22.)

[langenc]

She is 'buying' the package-you, cat and GUN. Rejection of any part is a rejection of the package.

[RPCVYemen]

I'm waiting for her to make some ridiculous impulse buy like these 1000 dollar boots she wants to drop the bomb on her

I am trying to think if I have ever heard of a worse idea. It's only been an hour, but I haven't come up with one yet. Give me time. In a couple of years, I might be able to come up with a worse idea. But as far as really, really, really bad ideas go, you've set a pretty high bar.

Mike

[Blackbeard]

I'm waiting for her to make some ridiculous impulse buy like these 1000 dollar boots she wants to drop the bomb on her

Very poor choice of words for a Japanese girlfriend, IMO.

[Dick1911]

Your best be is to get her to the range and try it out. Perhaps she'll like it or perhaps she'll see that it's different than she thought and at least not mind your ownership.

Speaking as an "Old Man" (Geezer, in some circles), don't think you're going to change her after you're married. G et the situation straightened out first and if gun ownership is that important to you and she doesn't see your side of it then you need to find someone else to share your life with.

Seen people go there, do that and lose the t-shirt in a custody battle

[TX1911fan]

The first time you take her to the range, time it so there aren't a bunch of other people there. If that means you take a day off work and go in the morning, first thing, then so be it. You have to sacrifice too. If she goes and it sounds like WWIII out there, she is not going to be able to relax and enjoy it. Much better to be the only ones there. And if there is someone else there, have her put her hearing protection in while she is in the car, so that when you are walking across the parking lot and someone let's fly with their AK or their hunting rifle, she doesn't jump out of her skin. We men seem to like the sound of firearms, most women, especially newbies, do not.

[FerFAL]

You used the words “we are gonna get married”. That means family, responsibility. You’ll be the man of the house, meaning that if someone brakes in with intentions of doing harm, it will be your responsibility to go into harms way and kill it.
Sissy metrosexuals in politically correct movies use golf sticks, I prefer my Glock 357 SIG.
Seriously, your role as a man has nothing to do with Rambo-macho-mambo stuff, it’s just the natural order of life, males defend the pack. Or are you going to hide behind your wife?
Have the “talk” once and for all, don’t try to “slip it in” when she makes some silly purchase, be frontal about it, calm, but VERY serious. “Honey, seems we have a problem here. Let me explain to you the kind of man I am , and then you can decide if you want to be with me or not…”
My wife is not “into” guns, but she understands the need for them, even though she sometimes complains I have too many. But NO gun at all? That’s nuts, tell her that if she can’t see a real man for what it is, she should find a nice wimpy ameba that has no masculinity left and she can boss it around all she wants.

FerFAL

[highfive]

Take her to the range.....That's what i did with my wife and now my last gun a Ruger 10/22 she bought it for me She even has her own gun now with a pink grip well it's her gun.. lol

So JP there is hope.....

[Nitrogen]

I've got some personal experience here, both as a former anti that saw the light, and someone that's helped turn other anti's.

These rules should be considered gospel when talking to an anti-gun person. They should never be violated. Violating any of them will reset the anti-gunners "clock" so to speak; reinforcing their anti-gun beliefs; possibly for months or years more.

Originally Posted by Nitrogen's Rules for Converting Anti-Gunners™

1) DON'T ARGUE with an anti, at least not yet. Most anti-gunners hold the beliefs they do based on emotion or ignorance. Famous examples: Carolyn McCarthy is an anti-gun congressperson because her husband was killed by a random gunman.

When an anti-gun person brings up an argument for gun control or gun banning, DO NOT ARGUE. DO NOT BRING OUT GUNFACTS AND TELL THEM THEY ARE WRONG. This is the hardest part for many passionate pro gun enthusiasts.
(this leads to rule #2)
Respond in such a way that validates their fears, but doesn't validate their argument. For example, "Wow, that's a scary statistic."

2) Make leading responses to anti-gun propaganda:
When you hear these arguments, also try and respond in such a way to make the other person think, and seek out information on their own. For example:

"Handguns are 43 times more likely to kill a family member than a criminal!"
"Wow. Thats quite a statistic! I wonder why that happens? Is it because most people are just bad people and shoot people randomly? Or is there something else in these numbers we aren't seeing?"

3) Be an example.
Lots of anti-gunners feel gun enthusiests are rednecks, rambos, or other millitary wannabes. Be an example. Be someone that breaks the mold of the pro-gun stereotype. This is why rule #1 is important; you never want to be belligerent, as it reinforces negative stereotypes. Feel free to introduce others that also break the stereotype.

4) Patience, patience PATIENCE!
You aren't going to change someone's way of thinking overnight. Realise that once an anti-gunner starts on the journey to "the truth" it can be difficult. It's not easy having things you've always believed challenged, especially when the facts float to the surface. Be patient with them as they struggle with this.

5) When the time is right, nudge. DON'T PUSH
When you see obvious signs of doubt, invite them to shoot. Where you take them is very important. Hopefully you have a nice range nearby where nicely dressed professionals (people that break the stereotype, step #3) often go. Take 'em there. Teach them coopers 4 rules, emphasising how important safety is to everyone in "the community". Also take this time to point out how Hollywood gets things wrong so often (Trigger discipline, guns expanding full rounds, etc) This is an important step, as it is their first real exposure to "the community" and they should feel like they are joining an exclusive club. Learning about gun safety should be made to feel like an initiation in a way. You might even have the range staff quiz the newbie on the 4 rules, reinforcing to them why safety is important. It's important that the new shooter here realises that EVERYONE cares about safety. Gun owners should seem safer than drivers when you're done.

6) NOW argue.
Well, maybe not argue. But now's the best time to bring out gunfacts.info, and explain away many of the anti's arguments. This will work better now, because the person now has some personal experience that can counter the anti-gunner arguments; their bias will be weakened or gone by now.

This outlines my conversion experience. All in all, from the time the process started, till I bought my first gun was about 3-4 months.

[romma]

Just man up and tell her how it is... You like guns and she needs to deal with it,, PERIOD! LOL ...

Or, try getting her to the range as a last resort.

[RoadkingLarry]

Worth a look and at least some contemplation.

Side note: I've been married almost 26 years to the same woman, I am not against marriage. I just think far too many people do not realize what they are getting into and the possible repercussions should it "go bad".