Would you date an anti-gun liberal?

[fatguynlittlecoat]

I've been seeing this girl for almost a year now and she's a total anti-gun liberal. I'm pretty conservative and we don't see eye to eye on a lot of stuff politically. I want my kids to grow up around guns and hunting and she doesn't want that.

I've enlightened her on some issues and now she has a few different opinions, but still, she's very anti-gun.

Any advice? I'm thinking about leaving her.

[jlbraun]

Not all liberals are anti-gun.

(and another thread added to my list of "Dear THR, my wife/girlfriend is anti, what should i dooooo?" threads)



Life is too short to compromise on core values. Politically, I could care less what political persuasion the girls I dated were, as long as they didn't care about me owning, shooting, and carrying guns.

And your use of "enlightened" makes me go . Perhaps there are intolerance and control issues on both sides of this relationship.

[marinepilot81]

Other than the British girl who called me a "psychopath", they've all come around.

The girls I dated ended up handling or seeing a weapon on a daily basis because I would do so on a daily basis. Eventually, they've all gotten used to it and a few converted.

[fatguynlittlecoat]

No I wasn't implying all liberals were anti-gun...but she's a liberal and anti-gun.

I don't know how close she is to converting.

[scurtis_34471]

You may be wise to break it off if your values are really that different. It may seem like a lot of this ideological stuff doesn't matter now, but it will when you have kids. Its not really about guns. Its about world-view. If you are that divided in how you see the world, you're in for trouble later.

[CountGlockula]

Dump the broad.

[Guitargod1985]

fatguy,

Honestly man, if it were me I'd get rid of her. Then again, I've been single for a few years now.

Relationships are a lot of work to begin with. The last thing you need is someone trying to tell you how/when/if you can defend yourself and your property or that you should have more money taken out of your paycheck for welfare programs, etc. Once kids come into the picture it will get even worse and the kids may be brainwashed into believing that nonsense. All hope is not lost if you are VERY dedicated to making it work, but I'm lazy so I'd tell her hit the road if it were me. Before you do anything hasty though, consider trying to use some well reasoned persuasive arguments to communicate your view effectively and see how she responds. She may just be ignorant rather than a hardcore anti.

[SoCalShooter]

The answer is no.

[Dr. Tad Hussein Winslow]

I'm thinking about leaving her.

I think you're onto something there - life is too short. So, the answer is not only no, but hell no.

[DougDubya]

If she's fun otherwise, then give it a chance.

And maybe let her try out a gun. Once she learns how fun it is, how much you stress safety and responsible gun handling, you might win her back.

[CountGlockula]

....oh...one more thing.

She better be gorgeous....do you have a picture of her?

[Pat-inCO]

No.

[Pilot]

I might date one for a while, but I would only consider getting more serious if she did not try to limit my hobbies, control me nor make me not carry or give up my guns. A lot of times its a control issue and guns are just the tip of the iceberg. Liberals think they know best for what everyone else should do. I don't like that.

[Bigjake]

Would you date an anti-gun liberal?

No.

Life is too short to compromise on important things.

[BlazingAngel01]

Maybe

I need to date more.

[fatguynlittlecoat]

She's cool about me owning guns, she'll just always frown on the hobby and won't let my SON ever go hunting with me(I say son, but you never know, my sperm might be broken).

[Halo]

As others have said, guns are really just one instance of personal philosophy in general. I imagine the two of you don't see eye to eye on a lot of things other than gun rights. In the past the reptilian part of me has turned a blind eye to that sort of thing for, shall we say, temporary gratifications, but I don't think I could manage a long term romance with a woman diametrically opposed to me in philosophy. To me it's not too different from the hot girls you see with vapid personalities. They're physically beautiful, but intellectually disgusting.

You want my honest opinion? By asking others if they think you should leave her, you've already made your decision -- whether you're consciously aware of it yet or not. When it's really right, the thought of leaving is inconceivable. My 2 pennies...

[JesseL]

My wife would kill me if I dated an anti-gun liberal.

[alaskanativeson]

It's a matter of preference. Some people want a mate who will challenge them and fight them on things to make them grow. This is different than someone who just has to fight to be happy, that's a whole different psychological issue.

Some people want harmony and a sense of team. My wife and I are like that. I'm slightly right of Attila the Hun on many political issues and I wanted a wife who was in my corner. Part of that is practical: I want to be able to enjoy every minute I can with her. We enjoy shooting, camping, hunting, off-roading and many things like that which I couldn't do with a liberal gun hating hippie kind at my side.

So you see, it kind of depends on what you want in a mate. I'm academically honest enough that I recognize the need for diversity in things so I like having some friends who think differently than I do. I have a friend who is a gay liberal professor. However I'm of the old school that you are closer with your spouse than you are with anyone else. I wanted someone who shares my ideals and values in that relationship.

Of course when I was single and in my early dating days all that mattered was that she be cute and fun. Being easy made her a plus. I knew those relationships wouldn't lead anywhere beyond the bedroom but if you're the kind of conscience free 18-year old I was you don't care. When I matured and started thinking about what mattered I changed my tune.

[Guitargod1985]

Fatguy, I feel for you man, I really do. I get the vibe that it's broader than the whole "gun thing" and that you want to raise your kids with an emphasis on personal responsibility, self-reliance, and individual liberty. Is that an accurate assumption?

The problem is that the aforementioned values are becoming less treasured in our society today and are especially less prevalent in my own generation (I'm only in my 20s). Instead the predominant attitude (reinforced by public schools) is one that emphasizes values which are more often than not at odds with the core values shared by previous generations. It sounds like she might be one of those who subscribe to the new code of ethics, characterized not by individual liberty and self-reliance, but by collectivism.

[fatguynlittlecoat]

guitargod:That's exactly it. She's never had a steady job in her life and her parents have always bought her everything(including a mercedes). So of course she doesn't understand the effects of her paycheck going to pointless liberal programs. She grew up in LA, I grew up in the boonies in Illinois...she even get's embarassed if I wear my Med. Sized ALICE pack in public(it's not even camo!).

Ugh...I gotta get out of this.

[ArmedBear]

guitargod:That's exactly it. She's never had a steady job in her life and her parents have always bought her everything(including a mercedes). So of course she doesn't understand the effects of her paycheck going to pointless liberal programs.

****, man, I have acquaintances with wives like that and trust me, the "gun thing" is the LEAST of your problems.

Run, don't walk, from this.

May you never learn firsthand what sort of hell you will be escaping here.

[Funderb]

If she's smokin' hot I find that opinions are worth the work to change.

[Crow1108]

The answer for me is "No". It will be an uphill battle for you. It has been for me.

[fatguynlittlecoat]

Yeah she's young and hot...seriously though, I'm finding out that's not all that important. I'd rather date an average girl that shares my same views.