Have you ever dated an anti? How'd it go?

Married one. She put up with me for about 25 years then accepted an invitation to go to the range and do "gun kindergarten". Now she burns more ammo than I do.

I confess right up front that I haven't read most posts in this thread, and probably won't. I'm in an extremely busy professional period -- eating in June depends on what I'm doing now -- so even though I'd like to read other responses, it'll at least be a long time.

Having said that, my answer to the OP question -- Have you ever dated an anti? -- is, I don't know.

I'm 65. Who I dated 40 years ago is different from now.

Back then, I probably didn't care if she was an anti if she would ... oh, never mind.
Not appropriate here. Art's grandma would not approve.

Now? Not the chance of a snowball in Florida.

Speaking of Florida, I spent 4 months overwintering down there with college friends that I hadn't seen in 40 years.
I went down there to take a break from winter in my home state (see location) and to hunt some hogs.

Turns out that my male friend wanted to, but his anti wife of 40 years forbade him to do so.
That boy being ... kept obeyed. So I didn't hunt hogs.

She even instructed me about where I could and could not store my guns.
(Which I went out of my way to disobey. She was none the wiser.)

Why did he marry her? ... kept.

Would I date an anti now?

No. Emphatically, explicitly ... NO!

Apparently, as this thread demonstrates, there are as many close-minded pro-gun folks as there are close-minded anti-gun folks. 'Tis sad, yet not entirely unexpected.

As a previous poster noted, some who are anti-gun simply are that way because they've never been introduced to firearms, the shooting sports and the concept of self-defense. Education can make a difference. But if folks decide to never even attempt to get to know someone on the other side of the fence, the education will never occur.

Frankly, given the attitudes I'm detecting here, it seems that we -- the folks on the side of RKBA -- are as much to blame as the folks on the other side for the polarization of views with regard to the state of gun rights in this country.

Yup...dated one when I was sixteen, married her when I was 24, and we're both now in our 70s with many children and grandchildren. She doesn't like guns at all but she respects my right to own them and shoot them. That's fine with me.

I don't select my friends from certain groups. If I meet someone and we get along I don't care about their background, or politics, or religion. I'm looking for intelligence, honesty, kindness, dependability, character, courage, and a sense of humor. My wife has all that and more.

And dogs, they must love dogs.


Tinpig

My girlfriend for 7 years now at first was sceptical about guns, but as many of you said not because she was "anti" but because she wasn't exposed to guns anytime in her life and didn't know anything about them. Now she tells me, she is glad and feels more safe with guns at home - but I still couldn't get her to visit the range with me. Still working on that

Most women who are not comfortable about guns just don't know much about them and weren't exposed to them or anyone in the shooting sports, and they're open to changing their mind. So, I wouldn't consider it a deal-breaker or much of a problem at all.

An anti-gun activist type, however ... generally that comes with a load of other baggage, too. Fortunately we don't get many such people here, there's no big firearms public debate nor division into "camps" on the issue.

I have dated women who were anti gun.
Although it never became an issue,
It seems to come with other personality quirks that just aren't for me.

I didn't know their feelings at the time I was dating because I wasn't interested in guns or gun issues particularly. Then I met my wife and she was/is pro gun. Soon she started nagging me to get a gun - nag, nag, nag. Finally I did. Now I have a small, medium, and large safe full. Now lately she's been nagging me to take the hunter safety course with her and take her hunting - nag, nag, nag. I can see where this will end up...with moose heads on the wall probably.

Can't say I did a lot of "dating", and the girls I did go out with, I have no idea about their stances on guns. Never came up, and that was all long ago.

My wife isn't what I'd call "anti" either, she tolerates my guns, shooting and reloading obsessions quite well, although we disagree about my current "need" for a new Rossi '92. Seems that she thinks 50 guns is "enough", and I think otherwise.

She's not against guns, just has no interest in them. In her first marriage, a good friend of theirs blew his brains out in front of his wife and kids, and my wife was the only person available to clean up the mess. So guns just aren't her thing. Can't say as I blame her. But I'm very thankful for her tolerance with me, except when it comes to dropping hundreds of $$$ on another one.

I think we do need to clarify that there are really three camps where RKBA is concerned. We have a tendency to draw a line in the sand and make a false dichotomy because we spend so much time defending our position, but the truth is that most people in this country are in group #3; non-gun people. They just have minimal (if any) exposure, don't have much of an opinion on the matter, and can potentially go either way if influenced by someone who is a significant force in their life.

Refreshing to read that many here value love over RKBA.

Would you really like to live in a world, where everyone has to be like yourself?

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Choose personal romance over defense of an inalienable right of all Americans? How selfish.

And choosing a romantic partner who has compatible core tenets is not tantamount to dating another version of yourself. This girl I'm really interested in right now is quite different from me in many, many ways, but we have very similar views on the things which really matter to both of us.

TruthTellers said:

Have you ever dated a anti? How did it go?

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I haven't dated for many years( been married for 30), but back in the day when I did date, I did date antis, both anti gun and anti hunting. But they never became anything more than dates, and never serious relationships, even tho we may have dated for many times over an extended period of time. It came down to having other priorities at the moment, and they may have been fun to be with, even tho we disagreed on the gun/hunting thing. My present wife and I disagree on many things, but not guns and hunting. Folks can have different opinions and still get along, it's just that you have that much less in common. For me and as involved as I have been my whole life with guns and hunting, I felt for a lifelong partner I needed someone with the same values on them as I. For a date, a friend and a fun night together.....not so much.

My wife came from a strongly neutral to slightly anti home. They did not own any firearms. I made it clear right up front that guns were non negotiable once she started talking about no guns with kids. She eventually came around, and got her permit after I told her I expected her to protect my kids as well as herself when I'm not present.

Apparently, as this thread demonstrates, there are as many close-minded pro-gun folks as there are close-minded anti-gun folks. 'Tis sad, yet not entirely unexpected.

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Somebody I knew once had a bumper sticker that said, "Brains are like parachutes: They only function when they're open."

Another friend had one that said, "Don't have such an open mind that your brain falls out!"

I am a very open-minded person, or perhaps simply classically liberal/libertarian, and there isn't much that I truly will not question or welcome alternate views on. But I've hashed out the gun control issue for so many years, and so deeply thoroughly, that I will accept, if need be, the label of being now "closed minded" about RKBA.

It isn't truly accurate, but it is practically so, as like a good chess player, I see the turns of the debate coming far in advance -- I know the moves, the motivations, the targets, and the outcomes by the end of the opening sentences. I certainly will take the time to discuss and debate with folks if they seem to really want to understand, but it is tiresome to walk the same path again and again to the quasi-inevitable end of frustration and emotional lashing out that usually attends a studied refutation of an acquaintance's received "reasonable" position against RKBA.

Closed minded? Hmmm, well, so be it. I'm sure I have worse flaws than that.

As a previous poster noted, some who are anti-gun simply are that way because they've never been introduced to firearms, the shooting sports and the concept of self-defense. Education can make a difference. But if folks decide to never even attempt to get to know someone on the other side of the fence, the education will never occur.

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Ahh, well, this then leads back to the same question as I hinted at before: Namely is this "getting to know someone" a matter of conversing with folks you meet and being a good ambassador of RKBA to those around you?

Or is this "dating?" Dating, biologically speaking, has a purpose. You don't date your pals and co-workers. You date potential mates and spouses. And that's a very important distinction.

It doesn't much matter if you can never discuss political issues with your co-worker or bowling pal. It doesn't matter if you are diametrically opposed from him/her on matters of financial expenditures and contributions to support a shooting hobby, or to support RKBA lobbying organizations. It doesn't matter if you can't agree with him or her about whether your kids should be around guns, or whether there should be guns in your home.

It matters VERY much to the person you emotionally and legally and fiscally tie yourself to through romantic and potentially progeny-producing relationships.

We can say, "Oh this isn't MARRIAGE! It's just 'dating.' Don't be so closed-minded! What about LOVE?"

But despite a pretty open-minded view of life, I don't think I see a moral high-ground to be held in casually ... "dating" (with all that implies, both physically and emotionally) ... others with whom you would start the difficult road of a successful union burdened by an enormous impediment like a foundational conflict of views on RKBA.

Shall we say, "It's ok that we have this vast impediment to happiness together -- our relationship has no future -- we're just sating our lusts together for temporary pleasure?"

Is that morally superior to saying, "I choose not to emotionally and physically entangle myself (and very possibly have a child!) with someone with whom I would have to overcome very serious KNOWN obstacles (before we even begin to face the inevitable UN-known ones) to achieve a peaceful and happy marriage?"

With a 40%-50% divorce rate throughout the land -- that's a lot of damaged people and a lot of irremediably hurt kids.

Frankly, given the attitudes I'm detecting here, it seems that we -- the folks on the side of RKBA -- are as much to blame as the folks on the other side for the polarization of views with regard to the state of gun rights in this country.

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The "polarization" buzz word gets thrown around a lot. Sort of like "partisanship."

All it means when someone accuses others of either one is, "You jerks won't give up what you want and COMPROMISE!"

It is only through the blessed "radicalization" of the pro-gun movement in the last two decades that we ever withstood the assault after Sandy Hook, that we saw the sunset of the AWB, that concealed carry has expanded in so many states, and that we're generally in the positive place we now stand.

The next time some supposedly pro-gun pal complains that people are "polarized" on the gun issue, and that people should be "reasonable" -- smack him upside the head and tell him to say that with PRIDE!

I no longer date. It isn't worth my time to date a woman, because most women have such a leftist bent, that I have no interest. Why should I waste my time trying to change/convince her? If she doesn't have a grasp on reality by the time she's in my age range, it is too late.

Women are too expensive and too much trouble. Keeping to myself and attending to my own needs (and desires) is far easier.

"Down to Gehenna, to the steps up to The Throne. The man that walks the swiftest, is the one that walks alone". - Rudyard Kipling