Dating, Marriage, and Guns

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One fo the most important things in relationships (not just romantic but friendship as well) is tolerance. We don't date or build friendships with carbon copies of ourself because that would be boring. We make friendships with and are attracted to people who are different from us and with that difference comes dissagreement. If someone you are friends with or romanticaly interested in is intollereant of your enjoyment of all things gun related then you need to speak with them and if an agreement can be reached that doesn't involve you giving up guns...whether it is you just not speaking about guns around them and them not bringing up anti-gin propaganda then the relation ships has some hope.

This doesn't apply to just guns. Some issues (usualy political) just can't be disscussed in a civilized manner by two people who oppose eachother on it. If a truce can be reached then give the relationship a try but never go into a relationship thinking you can change them or a relationship where they want you to change. I think the "gun issue" in dating is encountered more by men. I was single when I started down the Gunny road and am still single so I havn't encountered anything dating related though I have had areguments with two of my friends. One just doesn't bring up guns and neither do I and that has worked out fine. The other one keps asking me questions trying to understand what I enjoy about "something used for violence".

I guess the simpleset answere is that tolereance on both sides is requiered for any relationship and as long as a happpy medium can be reached there is no reason to automaticaly dump them just because you dissagree.
 
Life

My life sucks. Its all about pain and many other things. almost everyone in my family hates me 100%. You guys probably have a good life where people don't yell at you everyday.my brothers and sisters suck!!!
 
One of the most important things in relationships (not just romantic but friendship as well) is tolerance. We don't date or build friendships with carbon copies of ourself because that would be boring. We make friendships with and are attracted to people who are different from us and with that difference comes dissagreement.
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Go into divorce court and see how tolerant people are. If you have this type of belief about life and life mates, you're in for a rough ride. Tolerance is woman-speak for "I can change him". A woman isn't going to tolerate diddly crap if it doesn't fit her values. Oh, she might for a while, but eventually it's "if he loved me he would do _______for me"

It's real, real simple. We like people we like. We don't like people we don't like
 
"Is gun-owning or at least gun-tolerant a requirement for when you're dating someone or having at least a serious relationship (that may lead to marriage) with them?

If they are not too happy with guns, is that an excuse to dump them?"

Yes for #1, maybe for #2. If she bitches continually, that's just a preview of what is to come on all issues with which you don't share the same philosophy.
If she says she disagrees but do as you see fit, that's fine. If she disagrees and demands that you concur, run Forest, run.
 
1) Yes, in a sense. With any girl that I would consider getting serious with, I make it clear that guns and shooting are a big part of my life, and that if they're not cool with that, then a relationship is NOT going to work.

2) Maybe. If a girl tries to do the tricky act of "buy the dress first, then make alterations later," then it is an excuse to break it off.

If she is someone who could accept it and tolerate it, then it could work. If it's someone who can't, it won't work. If she's pro-gun, then it could work, but we'll both have to have full-time jobs to pay for ammo. :D

Wes
 
Is gun-owning or at least gun-tolerant a requirement for when you're dating someone or having at least a serious relationship (that may lead to marriage) with them?
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Yes.
Ignorance of guns, gun rights, and self defense is fine. Hatred of said things is not.
 
I don't underestimate myself.

Sometimes I over-estimate badly. :)

I still think if I ever decided to get involved with someone, he would have to be more than just open to the idea of guns and all the other stuff. It seems it would be doubly difficult for a woman to introduce a man to the idea. Maybe that's just perception, I don't know. I know my ex didn't care much for the idea, and he hunted/plinked so I could be overly cautious.
 
Yes and yes. I sell guns part time, and every other guy is in there trying to figure out how to hide the purchase from his wife and bitching about the problems she gives him for shooting. Sometimes these wives accompany the husbands to the store and make a stink while they're there. Not for me, thank you very much. There are plenty of attractive ladies out there who have a little common sense, I'll hold out for one of them.
 
Barbara
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I don't underestimate myself.

Sometimes I over-estimate badly.
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Or as George Bush would say mis-underestimate.
I got pretty lucky,while my wife is no gun nut she has been shooting with me.She has also bought a couple of guns for me for Christmas and I have received a few boxes of ammo in my stocking.
 
Is gun-owning or at least gun-tolerant a requirement for when you're dating someone or having at least a serious relationship (that may lead to marriage) with them?
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Depends what you mean by "gun tolerant". My only requirement is that she is tolerant of me, whatever that may bring. I got into guns well after I was married. She is an anti, but tolerates not guns, but rather my involvement, keeping and shooting them. Only reason she does is because she loves me and wants me to be happy, and knows how important guns are to me.

Otherwise I'm sure she would vote to have them all destroyed, UK style. I'm trying to bring her around, bit by bit to eradicate the fear and ignorance. :)
 
I'm gonna chime in on this one based on my most recent dating experience. I met the girl on-line and, after speaking together for a while, we decided to meet. While on the phone, I had told her my beliefs about firearms and personal ownership thereof (very much for it, in case you're wondering :) ) She said that she could understand long-arms, as hunting was kosher in her books. However, she couldn't get past her mental construct of handguns being pure evil. "Ah, well", I said to myself, "Perhaps she'll come around. When she sees that I really am not a deranged sicko, she may get a fuller view. Besides, I'm just getting to know her and things aren't serious, at all."

Well, fast-forward to our first meeting and first several dates. They all went well and guns weren't really discussed. Fast-forward again another month and I start noticing things about her. For instance: while we were in a mall, I took out my pocket knife to test its sharpness on a used paper cup. She immediately freaked out, demanding that I put the knife away immediately so no one sees me using it! I complied, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. Besides, I didn't have real NEED to use that knife right then, I was just amusing myself. Then another example: I am an aspiring knife maker. In the past, she said that she supported me in my ambitions. In a convo, though, she let slip that she was "still trying to accept the idea of me making knives". Yet another example: I tease her that I've finally got my CCL, just to gauge her reaction. Her response? "Wow. If you really do, I'm seriously going to have to re-think this relationship."

Upon reflection of all these seemingly little incidents, as well as input from some trusted individuals, I eventually came to the conclusion that she didn't like the real me Doing things like talking about guns and carrying a sharp, useful knife are intrinsic to who I am. These seemingly small deeds were quite alarming, and even repulsive, to her. Oh, I was up-front about my feelings on these issues and she said that she supported me. But she really didn't. Some of my core values were diametrically opposed to hers, and there was no reconciliation save one of us denying our true self.

In the end, I broke up with her, explaining that my values were not compatible with hers. She eventually understood where I was coming from. Even if she hadn't, I knew more about myself and knew that I had to break up and move on.

What I learned is this: in a dating/romantic relationship, do NOT deny your values for the other person!! Both will end up miserable, period. There are actually women out there who share my values, or at least respect my values, and myself. I want to be respected by a woman that I respect. That's what I'm holding out for in a relationship :)
 
Gun tolerant is close enough IMHO. Married 26 years----my wife was never into guns before she met me-----she still isn't (very much)-----but she does love to come out with me and plink with "her" Browning .22! Put it this way----it "works" for us!
 
DUNEDinDRAGON - "... I can take care of myself and not have to worry about some perv trying to rape me."


You don't live in San Francisco, do you? :uhoh: :)

L.W.
 
This is quite a thread, thanks for the imput. I already had my conclusions drawn on this and found that it fit in well with alot of the people who posted here. I am only re-affirmed.

Gun tolerant is close enough IMHO. Married 26 years----my wife was never into guns before she met me-----she still isn't (very much)-----but she does love to come out with me and plink with "her" Browning .22! Put it this way----it "works" for us!
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This is how it is with my Mom and Dad. Mom isn't into guns, but the whole family goes shooting and sometimes she does it. So far, they've been married nearly 23 years.
 
I wouldn't waste time on somebody who didn't value their own life and safety, much less my own. Anybody who thinks that the police CAN protect you or that they have much legal duty to do so, clearly isn't paying attention. Somebody that oblivious really isn't interesting to me.
 
Well, my wife found out that I do a lot of shooting on our first date. She had never seen a privately-owned gun in her life prior to meeting me. She was also a NYC girl, and hung out in a very anti-gun society. The only thing that she asked me was "where do you store your guns?" When I informed her "either on my person or in a safe" she was fine with it. And since we have moved to a relatively secluded place (by her standards)--well, when we hear that odd noise at night or have seen a strange car parked in our driveway at about 11 pm, she has definately seen the advantage.......
 
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