It sounds like you need to do some reading in a manual or two. When you load for a .45acp, especially with lead bullets you need a decent amount of flare, or bell on the case. This is the second step, or the second die in a three die set. This opens the mouth of the case so the bullet can go in. You will absolutely need to crimp the round. Crimping on a 45acp case is basically just removing the bell that you put on the case to facilitate the installation of the bullet. I find that a diameter of .471 works just fine in any gun I own.
You shouldnt have to seat that bullet that deep, excpept in certain odd circumstances. I use the same bullet in all of my .45acp loadings currently, and I load to a OAL of 1.250. I Find best accuracy and feeding there. In my glock, when I was using the Lone Wolf Barrel, they would have to be seated to 1.22" to feed, and even then would experience failures, due to the tight chamber.
What kind of gun are you using?