the 32 mag was developed to give 38 special performance, and from the numbers i have seen it does. As others have posted, go with the lighter bullets, more velocity = better expansion. Plus you get an extra round in the cylinder.
I also agree with what is said about going for the ruger sp101, sp101 is heavier = less felt recoil, 3 inch barrel = more weight yet for less recoil, plus better ballistics, and better sight radius, making it easeier to shoot accurately.
Plus you can teach her on 32 longs, but put 32 mags in for carry/ready state in nightstand.
Still, maybe you are gonig about this all wrong. What about a 38 special 3-4 inch barrel, standard size model (6 shot, or in taurus, 7 shot) the added size and barrel makes the gun heavier = less felt recoil, you can practice with the softest 38 specials you can find and load 38 +ps for real usage. Hell, go 357 and just always use 38 specials. I tell you, a smith and wesson k frame 38 special doesn't recoil much at all, probably less than a 32 mag in even a semi-lightweight frame. The key to this system is to get aftermarket grips that are built for smaller hands.
Regarding the 32 mag going extinct...I'd agree except for one thing, cowboy action shooting has gotten ahold of the 32 mag, that will keep it alive. Now, the bullet selection might change quite a bit, but once an ammo maker is making type A B and D in 32 mag for cowboy action, it dosn't take much tio make type C every once in a while for home defense.
