So yesterday (Friday) I visited my hometown to see an old high school buddy of mine, Joel. He was the best man at my wedding and everything. We go to see a movie last night at the small town movie theater. We end up staying a little late in the snack bar area talking about old times, guns, religion, and whatnot.
Then we head out to the parking lot, which is gravel and backs up against some woods on the edge of town. His truck and my little nissan are the only vehicles nearby. There may have been some employee cars on the other side of the building, but I didn't notice any.
Odd thing. The parking lot lights were off. Don't know if they were turned off because the place was closed or because the power was out or a blown transformer or what. It was dark. Very dark. So Joel and I both have our flashlights out while walking to the cars. We hear something about 20 feet past my car (my car is two spaces past his truck, mine on the left his on the right as you're looking toward the parking lot from the sidewalk). His beam finds it first. It's some sort of decent sized animal, maybe a badger or large raccoon, but hard to tell in the dark. I light it up with my brighter beam, and it's a black bear cub! I thought, that's weird, didn't know there were bears around here. But more and more subdivisions have been built in the last year or so, so it's probably driving them out of their habitat. Yes, I actually thought all of that in the two to three seconds I was looking at it.
I can hardly type because my hands are shaking so bad. And I haven't even gotten to the scary part.
So there's this bear cub right here, maybe 80-100 lbs, the size of a large dog. His fur is jet black, and his eyes are glowing bright yellow in the flashlight beams. I think, that's a pretty small cub... maybe we should leave before mama bear comes by. Maybe I should look around real quick before getting in the car. Good idea, in hindsight.
I start sweeping the area with my flashlight about 120 degrees to my left, over my left shoulder. We were parked along the right side of the theater, and the parking lot continues around the back of the theater, so I was scanning basically from the back edge of the theater on around. There's nothing out to the edge of the trees, but I see an awful lot of glowing yellow eyes watching from the woods. An awful lot. I'm starting to get creeped out.
Oh yes, I just remembered this. When he first saw the animal, before we had identified it, he joked with me saying "think can you hit it from here?" because he knows I carry. I was carrying my Browning Hi-Power .40 caliber with two spare magazines on my weak side.
Okay, so I'm scanning the parking lot. I'm getting creeped out because of all the eyes in the woods. I get about 20 degrees to the left of the bear cub when it hit me. I knew it was about to hit me just before it hit - didn't know how I knew at the time, but in hindsight I realize that I probably heard it coming as it crunched across the gravel. It hit me in the back just as I started to spin away. It almost knocked me over, and ripped my overshirt off. My right hand was back by my gun, so when it hit my shirt, the two closed buttons popped off, and the sleeve came off my right arm fairly easily - I say fairly because it did twist my arm to the degree of pain, and it still hurts a little now. When the sleeve came off my left arm, it took the flashlight with it. As I'm trying to figure out what happened, I see it in Joel's flashlight beam, still running. The bear cub had charged me and attacked. Those suckers move FAST. From a standstill it covered about 20 feet and hit me before I could do anything but twist myself around a little.
I squat to pick up my flashlight and begin scanning before I even stand up - this is all going in slow motion now. I'm scanning very, very quickly as I'm trying to get to my car. My flashlight beam gets to where the cub had been and before the center of the beam hits anything, the edges of the beam must have caught her eyes, and as the center of the beam illuminated her, I thought "oh **** it's mama bear" and at that exact moment, the edges of the beam caught two more eyes about a foot higher and a little to the right. OH **** IT'S PAPA BEAR. Mama bear was about 3 1/2 to 4 feet tall to the shoulder, but papa bear was around 5 feet tall to the shoulder. These are the biggest frickin animals I've ever seen - and I've touched elephants. I actually remember thinking that the male bear doesn't usually hang around after mating season, but I have no idea when mating season is. [note: this happened right around the spring thaw]
I don't know how I knew, maybe it was because I like to watch nature videos and all that, maybe because I picked up on her vibe, or maybe because it was obvious, but I knew she was charging at me. I don't remember drawing, but I remember remembering drawing. I also remember thinking "forty caliber against a bear? That's just gonna piss her off" but I had nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. I was standing about 8 feet off the passenger side fender of my car. I knew I didn't have time to get to the drivers side of the car.
I fired one time. I didn't hear anything, I didn't see any muzzle flash, I didn't see the slide come back, and I didn't feel any recoil. I just remember the three white posts lining up between her bright yellow eyes and then just doing it. She kind of crumpled up and did a summersault and stopped. Reminded me of when a big crab tucks in all its legs and pincers and suddenly it's a lot smaller.
It was precisely at that moment that I recalled seeing papa bear run off to the right and I knew he wasn't running away. When I started looking for him I realized that when firing, I had backed away diagonally just like I had trained at the range. I had backed up behind my car for cover (as if the bear was going to shoot at me or something). I swept my flashlight around to the right to see papa bear rounding the back corner of Joel's truck. I took three steps to the right (I obsessively count my steps - I can tell you how many steps from the parking lot on campus to my office to my lab to my advisors office...) and lined up the three white posts on the galloping bear. It was kind of running out and around, like it was trying to get behind me. It turned and came back towards me right as I started squeezing the trigger. It's about 30 feet away as the first shot breaks. I pulled the trigger three times that I remember, and papa bear stops about 10 feet from the side of the truck and sort of lays down like it was gonna take a nap.
I suddenly wonder if mama bear has gotten back up - I glance back and she's still down. I turn around again to look at papa bear, and he is getting back up and starting to come back around the truck, but his hind legs aren't working right and he's moving a whole lot slower - otherwise I'd be dead, and you're about to find out why.
I back up yet again and squeeze the trigger, but it's mush. I recognize the feel of the trigger as meaning the slide is not in battery. I tilt the Browning just enough to see that the slide is about half an inch back, and I can see a round nose-dived into the feed ramp (this has never happened before – it has always fed ammo 100% reliably, which is why I carry it). I have backed up to the front edge of my car now, and I jump up on the hood and then onto the roof. On my way up, I notice that I had completely forgotten about Joel - I notice this because he's sitting in the drivers seat of my car. Why in the world is he in my car and not his truck? And how did he get in? I didn't even think about the second question until after it was all over.
Once on the roof of my car (my poor car, I could feel the thin sheet metal of the roof collapsing under my feet) I did a tap rack bang, but when I pulled the slide back it wouldn't go forward - I was empty. I guess I must have fired more than I thought I had. As I dropped the magazine, papa bear had come up to the side of the car and I felt Joel's weight shift over to the passengers side as the bear tried to swipe at me. I shoved in a new magazine.
And that's when I woke up. I was instantly aware that I was in my bed, that I had been dreaming, and that the bears represented criminals, and all the eyes in the woods represented a bunch of onlookers in a city type setting. My adrenaline was pumping, and I was in condition red before my eyes were open - which was pretty darn fast. I was positive that a criminal was about to charge out of the living room. I put my hand on the S&W model 10 that's on my night stand, and then I noticed the red and blue lights flashing in my living room. The police had stopped someone right in front of my house and I could see the lights through my blinds. After the police left, I couldn't fall back asleep. I had a headache, my right arm hurt from where the bear cub had ripped off my shirt, I was shaking all over, and just too excited to go to sleep. Then I looked at the clock. It was 5:29 AM and I just lay there thinking. It's nearly noon and I'm still shaking from the adrenaline.
That was the single scariest, most realistic dream I have ever had.