Abby's daughter (Pauline?) seems to be a lot more logical regarding the real world than her mother was. Thankfully the column written by her aunt (Ann Landers) expired when she did. She was even more rabidly anti-gun than Abigail was.
While Abby didn't care for guns, Ann had an agenda.
As for the original letter... Why is Matt racked with guilt?
It was Ted's Gun.
It was ted's stupidity.
It was Ted's head.
Did Matt drop Ted on his head a few years back or something to cause him to be this stupid?
Or is Matt's last name Darwin and he feels guilty about that whole evolution thing not quite working out right?
Either way they BOTH need to join AA and learn to stop being so stupid. The they both need to join the NRA, enroll in some safety classes and perhaps preach the Gospel According to Eddie Eagle.
They could perform a public service showing children how not to behave.