The boys and I used to participate in a play group that included several mothers who were not only against guns, they were against toy guns.
We left the play group after one member publicly chastised me when Liam brandished a small, neon-orange, empty water pistol and pretended to be a police officer. They were shocked that I would allow my child to play with such a “dangerous toy.”
I acknowledged their concern; the percentage of toy gun-related deaths was, after all, on the rise.
I don’t see a problem with children playing with toy guns. I would have a huge problem if they were, say, playing with a toy joint.
I have two sons; they are obsessed with swords, light sabers, firearms, explosives, fire. We never forced it on them; they exhibited an interest on their own, though I’m sure they absorbed a bit of it by watching Chris and I shriek with glee whenever one of us blows up something on Independence Day.
My boys will turn anything, including a tampon from their mother’s purse as she loads groceries onto the conveyor, into a mock firearm.
This isn’t to say that they are uneducated regarding firearms; Liam knows the difference between automatic and semi-automatic weapons; shotguns; handguns, etc. He knows to find and tell an adult immediately should he ever happen upon a firearm. He is fully aware that you can’t “un-shoot” someone. In short, we’ve approached the issue responsibly.
I have a friend who likes to assign human qualities to firearms. “Guns kill people,” she says whenever given the chance. I’ve said this before, but in my 28 years on this earth I have never witnessed a gun get up and shoot someone all by itself.
If I did I would capture it and find a way to make money off of it. I have, however, heard of people who use guns to shoot other people and who will use other weapons to harm people if a firearm isn’t available. I think it’s dangerous to take the responsibility from the person and assign it to an inanimate object.
It undermines gun safety and education. If that theory is allowed, I want to blame the last speeding ticket I got on my minivan.
My friend believes that the only gun education needed is to tell her daughter that “guns are bad.” Those who do not own or even like guns can still die from them as a result. I cannot figure out why my friend, or the mothers at the play group for that matter, want to pretend that guns don’t exist and that their children will never be confronted with the issue.
Both Chris and I grew up in families of hunters; my grandfather had a full gun rack in his pickup. Gun safety was drilled into our heads at very young ages and it was incomprehensible to play with one.
My friend doesn’t like the thought of her child playing at the homes of friends who own firearms. My response has always been to inquire about the presence of firearms first, then ask as to how they are secured from curious youngsters. It’s our job as parents to be responsible and cautious, not paranoid. I feel that the latter is irrational.
We own a firearm. It stays locked in a safe. Our families keep their firearms locked in safes and gun cabinets. Our kids know that it’s irresponsible to leave a gun lying around the house. Whether or not you own a gun and keep it in your home, it’s dangerous to avoid the issue. The only thing the avoidance does is to increase your child’s risk to become a statistic.
Just as dangerous as avoiding the issue is the irresponsible parent who keeps an unsecured firearm in their home. Those are the parents who stand to lose a child – or risk the life of another -- from a gun shot wound. Those are the cases we hear about on television.
What matters most is how and what kids are taught about firearms. I’ve always believed that pretend play is a great exercise for reality. Positive messages can be introduced and reinforced through play.
When my kids play with their toy guns, they are the cops chasing the bad guys, they are soldiers in a war, they are hunting, and they play with their toy in a responsible manner. In their play, just as it should be in real life, guns are leverage to their power for good. They’re taught the difference between reality and play and have developed a healthy respect for the difference.
My friend has asserted that toy guns “encourage violent tendencies.” There is a way to teach about violence without engaging in it.
I never forget: Whatever my children don’t learn first in my home they will learn out in the world. I want to give them an advantage.
Dana Loesch is a mother of two, a professional blogger, and can be reached at
[email protected]. Read more at
http://www.mamalogues.com.
