Is your interest in guns just a "bang fetish"

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AStone

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At a Thanksgiving gathering today, I was accused -- by a person who knows of my interest, ownership, and study of guns -- of having a "bang fetish". Her words.

What stimulated that accusation? I picked up a BB gun in her garage to look at it, which is their only gun, used to drive off squirrels from the garden. I'd not call her 'anti' gun, but uncomfortable with them and little interest in learning more. (I asked, if your partner and I go to the range, would you like to go? Response: "I'll have to decide; I've got a lot of things I want to do; not sure that's one.")

When she used the phrase "bang fetish", because she's a friend, I laughed and brushed it off. It originally struck me as humorous. But later, at dinner, she proceeded to lay down the law to me about hunting with her partner, how she disproved, and claimed that I should not hunt hogs because I'm older (65), and our reaction times get slower (by msec) as we get older. Her irrational fear seems to be grounded in a paranoia that I -- or more importantly, her partner -- will get ripped by a boar because we're stupid enough to follow them into tall grass or deep water in a swamp.

By that point, I was getting fairly annoyed, and displayed that with my response, which drew tears to her eyes. (Summary of several minutes: experience hunting since I was a kid; knowledge of the game; refuses to hunt with idiot bravosi; her total lack of knowledge about hunting; and her total inexperience -- she's never even shot a gun, let alone hunted; etc.)

We poured more wine, and moved on with the conversation to a different topic.

On further reflection, given that we are friends and live in close association, and have both personal and professional association, and that her partner IS interested in taking up shooting with me (he's not totally inexperienced, but he's only shot once, decades ago), I'm going to need to clarify my position on this topic, and make it clear that the characterization of my interest in firearms as "bang fetish" is not acceptable.

Thoughts? Would you accept a description of your interest in guns as a "bang fetish", especially when offered as a chide by a quasi-anti? If so, why? If not, how would you respond?

An Internet definition.
fet·ish ˈfediSH/ noun

an inanimate object worshiped for its supposed magical powers or because it is considered to be inhabited by a spirit. -- Synonyms: juju, talisman, charm, amulet

a course of action to which one has an excessive and irrational commitment
-- "He had a fetish for writing more opinions each year than any other justice."

a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc -- "Victorian men developed fetishes focusing on feet, shoes, and boots."
 
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I don't know you or the level of your interest, but I would agree that "fetish" is probably an accurate (in my view) description of the way many gun owners I've met and known over the years view their hobby or their guns.

Worship and magical powers pretty much hit the spot, and I might sya I'm somewhat guilty myself.

As far as you "accepting" her characterization, it doesn't matter if you accept it or not. That's her characterization of you, and that's not likely to change.
 
I admit I do get a warm fuzzy feeling when I hear the crack of the shot, feel the recoil and then smell the burned gunpowder.

But I don't reckon I'd call it a fetish.

There simply aren't any aspects of loading and shooting that I don't enjoy. I like everything about it.
 
getting tarred with a liberal label is not fun. She must have heard it on NPR or facebook. They accuse us of being the childish name-callers, but they do a pretty good job when it comes to garden variety smear and character assassination too. Its about demonizing what you don't like.

Gun ownership, use, and acquisition provides dopamine hits to the pleasure center of the brain. It makes us feel good. There's no sexual arousal or gratification, so calling it a fetish is stretch.

I know women with a cell phone fetish or facebook addiction. The use of the smart phone for posting and reading facebook crap provides the same kind of dopamine hit. When they check it incessantly from dawn to late at night, even in bed, they have an addiction and a fetish far worse (and more unhealthy) than what a gun owner may experience.

If she's a serial facebooker, welcome her to enjoy the can of worms she just opened. As a good gun-owning kettle, ask the pot why she's calling you black?
 
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Ask her this. When people swing a golf club, is that a "smack" or "whack" fetish?

What she doesn't understand or quite approve of, must be seen from a randomly abstract, academic viewpoint, so that she feels like an intellectually superior person. Tell her this.

When my SKS or Enfield round destroys a piece of concrete block or dirt clod from 120 yards, or hits a metal gong from 200-300 yards, it is simple fun.
 
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You can call me a gun nut all day but I just don't think any part of your posted definition of fetish fits me. Although the recoil of a 30-06 is very satisfying.
 
At one time........

......I lived to go to the range. It was a passion. And I work with young men now that it is. For me, a firearm became a tool. I live rural and do a lot of pest control. Now I go to the range to keep my skills up. And since they're the same pistols, I really don't need to go as often as I use to. It seems as the older I get, the more I need to do! I thought life was supposed to get easier as you got older!:confused:
 
I don't totally disagree with the fetish portion, but it could have been worded much more nicely. And by fetish I am using definition number 2...just like some people have a fetishes for their fishing rod, golf club, car, motorcycle, etc. We each have that one certain thing that puts a twinkle in our eye. The issue is the negative connotation and sexual assosciation with the word. I would replace "bang" with firearm, weapon, rifle, or any host of other words more accurately fitting. I would replace "bang" with attraction, interest, devotion... Realistically it means the same when connotations are ignored.
 
AStone

Kind of sounds like your friend is playing a bit of amatuer psychiatrist, dabbling in some nonsensical psycho-babble terminology. Even if she had the credentials to go with her dubious observations I would still be inclined to politely tune her out and move on to more relevant topics of interest.
 
It sounds like you took the word "fetish" to heart and let it push your buttons, which seems to be her intent. Like others have said, she may have a "fetish" of her own that can easily be pointed out if she continues to belittle your passion.

If she would have called you a gun nut or that you have a bang addiction would it have bothered you as much?
 
It's hard to reason with someone who is scared of things, whether it's a gun, or going in after a hog, etc, etc. Some people would huddle in their home and never risk anything if it was up to them.

My orthopedic guy told me we were all nuts for playing baseball at our age (40 and older league), and we did have some injuries over the years, but I would do it all over again if I could, including the dislocated elbow. So much fun and so very little negative. A lot of bang for the buck.

Bang fetish is insulting, and originated with someone who intended it that way.

I enjoy the boom of my .458, but I like the boom of fireworks as well. The ones that don't do anything visually but sound like a cannon. So cool.

I am going to feed my football [strike]fetish[/strike] passion tomorrow. A couple of big games, and one HUGE one for Alabama residents. ;)

My passion for shooting has been going on for decades now, and I hope to get a couple more in before I go.
 
Well I was not there and cannot entirely imagine the tone from your description, but one thing I think you should focus on is WHY she said this. It sounds as though maybe the guns scare her or perhaps the hunting portion scares her, as you mentioned. If that is the case, just keep in mind that either scenario might be driven by concern and caring for you and her partner's well being. I don't know if she teared up because she'd been burned by your response or if it was a little ferocious or maybe this was just one of those "the men in my life are marching off to war and I'm powerless to talk them out of it moments" you see in movies. Again if so, I'd not worry so much about what she said as why. If any of that rings true, maybe there would be some way to gently introduce her if she's open minded.

I also don't think fetish is entirely inappropriate. I think why the phrase sits so poorly is that both "bang" and "fetish" have a variety of definitions, some of which are sexual. Linking the two together seems to produce a very sexual-sounding term even if the words separately are not intended that way. Literally the bang of a gun's report coupled with a strong interest or worship for these particular objects we know and love. If you've ever gotten one of your guns out just to hold/handle, that fits some of those fetish definitions pretty closely.
 
AStone - Consider changing your approach to this couple, given that you are close friends and associates, and there's likely a bit of relationship mending to be done. Instead of inviting her to go along shooting with you and her husband, just invite her. Guns are a fact of life and this would be an opportunity for her to safely experience for herself what they do and decide whether or not she still thinks "bang fetish" is appropriate.
 
I don't associate with people as described in the OP. I have no intrest in meeting or conversing with any of them.
 
"Bang fetish" is clearly an unflattering, unkind, and demeaning remark that infers that private gun ownership is not mentally or morally good and normal.

And it is all part of a concerted effort to relegate or push those who seek to exercise their Second Amendment rights to the edge of society by not allowing them a place within it
 
I like and enjoy fireworks as well as guns. Matter of fact my love of things that go bang extends well beyond fireworks and guns. Does that make me a bad person? During my working years I did have a few co-workers who opposed my gun views or better said my political views in general. We always kept the conversations, which seldom came up, very civil. "Never argue with a fool because onlookers may not be able to tell the difference". Thank you Mr. Samuel Langhorne Clemens.

When such stupid arguments do come up in conversation like gun control I simply avoid the entire subject. Really, I have nothing to say. This generally gets those looking to argue more irritated and eventually looking really stupid. At 65 years old I really no longer have the time or patience for certain people and their views on politics or gun control matters. I would rather shoot than argue.

Ron
 
(treading carefully...)

It's an accurate description of what the ANTI gunners think about guns. That they are some kind of spiritual thing with powers that can control other people.

The key dealing with liberals is that they always use their fears and sins - which they intimately know - and claim WE have that problem.

THEY have a bang fetish. Simple as that. WE often grow out of it in our youth and just look on firearms as a working tool after a certain point of maturity. Hence the concept that you pick a cartridge for it's ballistic application, then what kind of action, and then an optic - which almost nobody does. It's always the Gun of their Dreams in a cartridge that supports the fantasy, then, trying to make it fit into a working envelope where it doesn't belong.

It's the root cause of a lot of debate - gun fanciers with no better view of what guns do than the people who oppose them, both trying to deflect onto the other side exactly what they think bad could happen.

"We're not trying to take your guns away." vs AWB, SAFE Act, and Hillary Clinton expressing on camera we should have a forced buy back to disarm us just like Australia.

I'm beginning to see the Anti's as being more interested in disempowering White Males - and your friends reference to a "bang fetish" and her apprehension over it underscores it. After all - who started this country and for what reasons, as explained by female history teachers up thru High School? White males rebelling against the Crown over gun rights the way they insinuate it.

If some women fear empowered men - be gracious but firm. We all know they are talking under the cover of Constitutional Protection. It might be more advantageous to bring up what women in other countries think about it - Austria, where women have bought out most of the firearms on the market for their own personal protection against a perceived wave of Middle Eastern single male migrants trying to infiltrate their society to impose a new regime.

This is the point - women disparaging gun owners who are the ones protecting their right to disparage. Without it - Sharia law of some kind or another.

Frankly, if you are getting the heat it's because she might perceive you to be less amenable to her thinking and a challenge. Good - keep it up. Apparently her husband is wrapped around her finger and incapable of supporting his own interests, so, write him off as potential shooting buddy. He apparently has to get her permission.

Lot's of women these days spout off like that with no education or thought behind what they say. And in the interest of equal time - so do a lot of guys. Just read the webs - plenty of misinformation, disinformation, and simple ignorance going around.

BTW, are you aware of the agenda item Obama said to put out on the Thanksgiving table about gun ownership? Seems obvious where she got her talking points.
 
"My dear friend, your ignorant, insulting, narrow-minded remarks about activities that interest me personally have inserted a wedge between us. It is no more fair for you to insult activities in which I am passionate, than it would be for me to insult your passion in (this or that) of which I have little knowledge or interest."
 
Insulting

I see her 'expression' as an insult and a "label" and that would fire me up to ask if as a OBVIOUS liberal ,was she "labeling" me ?.

I appreciate the fact that you might be in her company often,due to friends etc.

But as stated priorly,I see my respect for myself that she would be corrected.

At the least I would use the word "fetish" to describe at least one of her foibles [ wine drinking ? ].

I am + 65 and do not see ANY reason to be P.C.

I don't even mind the label 'miserable old man' if that is how anyone wants to refer to me.

But calling me "a fetishist" is an insult I would correct.

UNLESS ,she wants to call those who penned the 2 nd Amendment as "fetishists".

I read book,magazines,go to movies,dine out = NONE of which has anything to do with shooting.

SO, she would need to retract that idiotic statement,or eat her words.
 
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