I don't want to dismiss the idea that it's important to conceal the fact that you're carrying a firearm, but you also have to realize that to people new to CCW they sometimes things it's "obvious" to "everyone" that they are carrying.
Most non-gun people wouldn't recognize a concealed handgun if you had a sign on it. I opened carried in front on my sister and her boyfriend (in my dad's house) for several hours before either figure out it was a pistol.
People these days also carry alot of different things on their belts: pagers, cell phones, PDA, leathermans, etc. So even if they notice a bulge they won't know immediately what it is.
It would not be illegal for someone to recognize you're carrying if you made a good attempt at concealing it, and didn't intentionally show it. It's not a great thing to happen, but you wouldn't get arrested for it.
So you have to give yourself some time to get use to the idea of CCW. You don't want too tight clothing, or too short. Anything that clings to you will cling to the gun too. The bigger the gun, the more clothing it will take to hide it.
Try a full length mirror. Can you see the holster or barrel? Turn left and right. Raise your arms to shoulder height and look again? Carry around your house for a bit. Be aware of what happens when you sit, or stretch or bend down. The gun probably won't ever be invisibile to you, but try to get an objective view of it.
I know hollowpoints are illegal in NJ, I have no idea about MO. You probably will get the right answer here, but you should know what you're state's laws are, and find a way to verify them. Don't take "facts" like that from the internet. When I got my permit, the clerks' office had a pamphlet for a book on NYS gun laws that I could purchase from a publisher, and for a small yearly fee, it is kept up to date. Something like that would be a good idea for you.