Obama's "Civilian Defense Force" will be armed with M14s, FALs

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Golden Hound

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(CNN) -- President-elect Barack Obama announced Monday that the first task of the civilian national-security force that he has proposed creating - which he claimed in a July, 2008 speech would be "as well-funded" as the military - will be to forcibly secure America's southern border with Mexico. The news has come as a surprise to many, especially Obama's critics on the right, who have painted the Illinois state senator as soft on illegal immigration.

"This country has had a porous border for far too long," said Obama at a well-attended press conference on Monday morning in Washington, DC. "Senator McCain, during the election, managed to avoid addressing the fact that he supported amnesty for millions of illegals, and offered no plan to curb their entry through our southern border. The civilian defense force which I will establish will deal with this issue in the most direct way possible - by physically securing the border with armed troops." Obama presented a preliminary outline of the proposed force at the conference - which, the president-elect noted, was largely of his own conception.

The organization and operation of the border patrol borrows from several unconventional sources, according to Obama, including Theodore Roosevelt's "Rough Riders" and, more recently, the Grey's Scouts of Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe), a horse-mounted cavalry unit which specialized in tracking, counter-terrorism, and the incorporation of native fighting techniques during the Bush War of the late 1970s.

The members of the "Border Scouts," as the proposed force is tentatively named, will be trained in horseback riding by instructors drawn from a mix of experienced law-enforcement riders from the American Southwest, and special advisors from such diverse nations as Poland, Afghanistan and the former Rhodesia - all experts in modern-day horse-mounted fighting and scouting techniques. Said Obama, "The use of horses will allow the patrols increased mobility in the rough terrain they will be operating in."

In addition to this innovative form of transportation, recruits of the "Border Scouts" will also master long-range shooting - another tactic that has gone by the wayside in recent years in favor of close-range automatic fire. "These patrols will be engaging targets at very long ranges, and it's imperative that they be able to maintain accuracy over great distance," the president-elect said.

The units will be equipped with a variety of rifles built for accuracy and stopping power, including some not typically used by American forces. One such weapon is the FAL, a Belgian-designed automatic rifle known as "the right arm of the free world" during much of the late 20th century, and used successfully by many European nations. Another is the M14, which was briefly issued to American troops in Vietnam before being replaced by the lighter, but less-powerful M16, and is still used in small numbers as a marksman's rifle. A third, the AR-10, created by renowned arms designer Eugene Stoner in 1956, is similar in design to the M16 but has greater accuracy and power. All are chambered for the hard-hitting 7.62x51 cartridge, also known as the .308.

"We felt that the .308 round, despite its heavier weight, was the best choice for these sort of border operations," said president-elect Obama. "It provides incredible penetration and power without compromising accuracy," he continued, noting that the cartridge is commonly used by hunters to take large game such as elk, in addition to its venerable record of military service around the world. "For this application, it has a great advantage over the 5.56 [the standard round for the US military used in the M16 and M4 rifles.]"

The border security force will be drawn from volunteers nationwide, and will offer "attractive pay and significant benefits" as incentives to join. Its first and foremost priority will be to completely halt illegal immigration from Mexico, "by any means necessary," in the words of Obama. The troops will have shoot-to-kill orders, and anyone crossing the mile-wide buffer zone (to be established by April of 2009) will be fired upon. "And I do mean anyone. Anyone crossing that border illegally is invading this country, and is no different from an enemy soldier in uniform. They will be dealt with by the 'Border Scouts' rapidly and effectively." Other duties of the border patrol will include the elimination of drug smugglers and Mexican gangs, which will be classified as enemy combatants, and the construction of artificial barriers to further impede illegal border crossing.

Responding to accusations that the new border policy would be "overly strict" and "a step backwards," Obama was steadfast in his confidence: "The United States welcomes all legal immigrants who come here through the proper channels in order to build a better life for their families. Our country derives its greatness from people such as these. But there is no place here for illegal immigrants whose first act on American soil is the commission of a felony. The civilian border defense force will ensure the safety of our people, and as President, that must remain my primary concern."

******

Did I have you fooled for a second there?

This article is not real! I wrote it, as a satirical piece like those in "The Onion."

Nevertheless this SHOULD be a reality!
 
I knew it wasn't real before the end of the first paragraph.

I'm still trying to decide if I should call EMS for you. You haven't been at the spray paint or canned air have you? Please make sure the stove is fully off.

Worried about you.:eek:
 
We've got enough real concerns with which to deal without having to make up political "satire". I'm closing this one as politcal/off topic.
 
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