Online Fiction

[Henry Bowman]

When I am reading a good book (like yours), I don't want it to end. But it has to, even if there is a planned sequel. The story has to "peak" or reach a turning point that shows the reader that the story is not continuing perpetually and that things will be different from now on, even though life is going on.

That is what killing the sheriff and confronting the other group does. A story, but a different story, will continue. The characters don't just wake up from a dream and none of it ever happened. In this case, there has to be a turn of events that wraps up this "chapter" of the saga. The story has so much tension that it has been carrying for so long, it has to break and shift one way or the other. I trust Halffast to do that successfully. Something happens -- that era closes -- and the characters are set up to embark on new challenges.

It has been great watching this creation take place in real time.

 

[petrel800]

1. How did you find out about "Lights Out"?

I stumbled across it last May while reading on THR at work.

2. What was your initial reaction to the first chapter?

I couldn't stop. I found it after lunch at work and wound up reading it for the rest of the day. Mind you, I am not a big reader. In fact I have always disliked reading. For me to read a novel, it really has to hook me in.

3. How much did you read before you knew that you liked it or didn't like it?

I was hooked after two or three pages.

4. Are the characters described in enough detail?

Yes, so much so that I feel like I would know them if I met them in real life.

5. What is your favorite part of the story?

The detailed nature of it. I love how you describe the firearms and the scurmishes. Also how it makes my imagination run wild.

6. What is your least favorite part of the story?

I don't really dislike any of it.

7. Is there too much or not enough detail in parts? (Please give examples.)

I think everything is just right.

8. In your opinion, what would make the story better?

If it were finished.

Thanks for allowing me to post some feed back, and thanks again for allowing us to read your great novel. I hope someday I'll be able to buy a hard copy of it. Good luck finishing it.

 

[ScorpioVI]

1. How did you find out about "Lights Out"?

Saw this thread on THR.

2. What was your initial reaction to the first chapter?

To be honest, I found the first part tedious. I think you tried to reveal the main characters too fast, too soon, and in too much detail and it turned into a boring narrative. That, combined with the typos and grammatical errors almost caused me to stop reading altogether, and the only thing that made me keep reading was the fact that I had nothing else to do at work.

3. How much did you read before you knew that you liked it or didn't like it?

It started to get interesting after the lights went out, and the employees were trying to figure out how to get home. I was hooked at that point. I didn't start liking the book until things started hitting the fan.

4. Are the characters described in enough detail?

Yes, but some character aspects could've been revealed later in the book, and spaced out throughout the storyline. It gets tedious when you try to tell all about one character in one chapter.

5. What is your favorite part of the story?

The excursions out of Silver Hills (to locate Mark's family), the firefights with the MZBs, etc. were all enjoyable.

6. What is your least favorite part of the story?

When the good guys get killed. But that is the mark of good story-telling, not bad. When the readers can relate enough to the characters to feel bad for them when they die, that's the mark of a good author, it means you did an excellent job of selling those characters to the reader.

7. Is there too much or not enough detail in parts? (Please give examples.)

Due to the time elapsed between chapters, some of the book is kinda foggy in my memory banks. I can't really comment on that without giving it a second read.

8. In your opinion, what would make the story better?

See above. Then bring it out in book form so we can buy it and read it without being glued to our computers. That is all, and thanks, you're doing a great job bro.

 

[clipse]

1. How did you find out about "Lights Out"?

On Frugals.

2. What was your initial reaction to the first chapter?

Wholey Crap, thats awesome!!!!

3. How much did you read before you knew that you liked it or didn't like it?

Uhhhh, I would say I was hooked and loved it just on the first page.

4. Are the characters described in enough detail?

I think so. Although I did have a hard time remembering the girl that was rescued from the ranch. I had to go back and reread alittle bit. But that is just me.

5. What is your favorite part of the story?

Actually I really liked the planning stage where they were trying to figure out what they would need to make it for the next year or so. Also I really like the planning of the security of the sub division.

6. What is your least favorite part of the story?

I really don't know. I like it all so much.

7. Is there too much or not enough detail in parts? (Please give examples.)

I think the amount of detail given is great. I like alot of detail in stories.

8. In your opinion, what would make the story better?

I think it is strange that Jon was an average person living in a decent subdivision outside of town with a loving wife and then now he is the kind of person that is leading a gang of pilagers/raiders and is the kind of person that would kill another person just to make a point. That seems alittle far fetched in my mind. OF course I am sure it could happen and I think it works it the story. Just seems kinda strange to me.

Overall I love this story and deffinately intend on buying a copy when you deside to print it. I can see me reading this several times. Keep up the good work.

clipse

 

[petrel800]

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/Commentary/com-3_14_05_JK.html

I found this article from Neil Boortz's web page. Pretty interesting. Senator talks about how an EMP would effect our nation. Halffast has done an incredible job of writing a story about this. From what the senator says, the book is very close if not perfectly accurate.

 

[Henry Bowman]

petrel800 -- See post #392 on p. 16 of this thread.

 

[Braz]

P8,

Did you notice that this week's episode of '24' had an EMP attack in LA. Ahhh, Halffast is ahead of his time. Can't wait to finish this book, and buy a copy!

 

[fjolnirsson]

Looks like I have some reading to do. I left off back when chapter 62 was new......
Good work, halfast!
I first came across it at Frugal Squirrel. About the only thing I go to that site for is the fiction.

 

[petrel800]

Thanks Henry, that's another very good article.

 

[fjolnirsson]

Just finished chapter 68.
Halffast, you really are very good at this. It's one of the most enjoyable reads I've found in a long time.
So, is chapter 69 ready?
You've been taking time to eat again, haven't you?
Shame on you.

Can't wait.

 

[Halffast]

OK, first I want to thank every one for all the encouragement and especially those of you who answered my questions. If anyone else wants to answer them, I will appreciate it.

Next, Chapter 69 is posted at FS. Hopefully, Obi will be along shortly to post a PDF.

Lastly, to answer a few of the questions and comments. (The ones that don’t give the rest of the story away.)

Clipse - I agree about Jon. When I do the rewrite, I will establish his eccentricities a little better in the beginning of the story. I have written this basically by the seat of my pants. I didn't expect Jon to be the main villain in the story when I first introduced him. I should have had at least a rough outline before I started. That is a mistake that I won't make again.

Scorpio VI - You're right. The beginning needs a lot of work. Thanks for sticking with it.

Mudpuppy - Wow! Thanks for the compliment. I now have someone who is editing for me. He's not an English major, though. He is our own Slipstick and he's an Automotive Engineer. I can't tell you how much help he has been. One more thing, LO is over 350k words so far. I don't know how that's going to over with the publishers, assuming I can even get anyone to look at it.

Judith - Just so you know, I already have a sequel mapped out in my head. Remember, though, I've been writing this one for two and a half years.

Gary - Thanks for the pointer. I'll try to do a better job of reminding the readers who a character is if I haven't mentioned them in the last couple of chapters.

Everyone - Thanks again for all the help and encouragement.

David

 

[P95Carry]

I didn't add comments David, as to all intents - others have covered the ground more than adequately.

I am now in ''save-it-up'' mode ... disciplining myself to squirrel away some chapters and then launch into a reading session ... I stopped IIRC at 66. I tend to like getting ''immersed'' in a book and so go thru self-flagellation for a while - withdrawal even ... but knowing I shall have a more enjoyable ''session'' later.

Nonetheless - I shall hope to snap up Obi's PDF if he can oblige ... so as to be sure I am archiving and not missing anything.

Congrats again dude - there is little doubt (for any of us I think) - this work has GOTTA see the global light of day. I'll buy the book in a heartbeat - as will many I reckon.

Oh and then later - you'll have to sell movie rights ... you realize doncha!!

 

[rem]

Thanks, Halffast!

 

[Obiwan]

Beat me to it!

Here it is in a little nicer font

 

[P95Carry]

Thx Obi - my usual salutations !

 

[JC1035]

Help with files please

I'm having problems picking up the latest part of the book.

I've gone to Frugal Squarl and I don't see any new additions, they only list
1-12 & 11-20

and when I go here:
http://www.mfco.net/surv/fiction/
I find 60-69 listed but the pdf only goes to 67

The download that was posted by Obiwan I'm picking up on chapter 29

I'm missing chapter 28 somewhere?

I'm sorry to be such a bother but.. HELP please.. "S"

Thanks so much and also.. Mr Halffast finding out that you are making a sequal is the best news since I started reading your book.. thanks
so much for all of your hard work



Judith/JC1035

 

[MudPuppy]

Thanks for another great chapter

Man, this is good stuff. Thanks and keep up the great story telling.

 

[Obiwan]

JC

If I am understanding you correctly you are only missing chapter 28

 

[JC1035]

Oh my gosh..I'm SOOO sorry... no It should have said.. 69 not 29
and 68 not 28.. I'm sorry.. I seem to be missing 68..

You were so kind as to post where it picks up on 69 but my last
pdf only goes to 67 ...


Thanks so much from an embarrassed pest "S"

Judith/JC1035

 

[Obiwan]

They are all here ...somewhere???

 

[rem]

JC1035,

Here you go.

 

[rem]

I forgot to answer your questions.



1. How did you find out about "Lights Out"?

Browsing THR.

2. What was your initial reaction to the first chapter?

I was immediately pulled into the story. I have had my UPS fail as well, so I could relate, and it just kept going from there.

3. How much did you read before you knew that you liked it or didn't like it?

The first few pages. I would stay up into the wee hours of the morning reading. I would tell myself just a couple more pages, then that would turn into just another chapter and so on. I could not stop.

4. Are the characters described in enough detail?

Yes, I think so.

5. What is your favorite part of the story?

All the gunfights, I really get into the action from all the detail, it is great.

6. What is your least favorite part of the story?

As mentioned before, when a good guy dies. You kind of get attached to them.

7. Is there too much or not enough detail in parts? (Please give examples.)

I think it is balanced quite well.

8. In your opinion, what would make the story better?

A sequel.


I must say that I can not wait for this to be published. I would most definitely pick up a couple copies. One for me and one for others to read, have to share the wealth. Thank you again, Halffast, it is a great story.

 

[Sven Frost]

AAARRGGGHHHHHHHH!!! THE SUSPENSE!!!

Halffast:

I have been following this thing for what seems like a couple of years since first finding it on Frugal's.

A year after finishing the chapters on Frugal's homepage, I thought there must be more, and found this site by Googling.

As a transplanted south Texas native, I especially appreciate the settings and characters. As a gunshop regular, I think I even recognize at least two characters.

Good Job!!!

 

[MudPuppy]

So, um, hi Halfast. Howya doin? So...umm...write anything lately?

 

[Halffast]

Yeah, guys, I'm on it. The next chapter is about halfway finished. Keep your fingers crossed for me; I may have it ready by the end of next week. Thanks for sticking with me and all the encouragement.

David