Online Fiction
- Thread starter Halffast
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Red_SC
Member
Hey, I loved that last line!
Henry Bowman
Senior Member
Well, Halffast, you did it. And a fine job at that. A little proofing and editing and... wow.
The end is clearly the hardest part (after the initial concept). You did it perfectly. This would make a legendary movie!
I have a story, but not the ability to express it the way you do. I'd love to share it with you (or Matt Bracken) to see if you would take on writing it out.
The end is clearly the hardest part (after the initial concept). You did it perfectly. This would make a legendary movie!
I have a story, but not the ability to express it the way you do. I'd love to share it with you (or Matt Bracken) to see if you would take on writing it out.
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P95Carry
Moderator Emeritus
Rem/Motoman - thx to you both for putting up the PDF's 
fixyurgun
Member
congrats,great story,and the sequel comes out when?
Headless Thompson Gunner
Member
Great work, Halffast. You can take great pride in what you've created.
Thanks so much for providing so many hours of good entertainment over the past few years. I really do appreciate it.
Thanks so much for providing so many hours of good entertainment over the past few years. I really do appreciate it.
I'll have to agree with MudPuppy. Lights Out is definitely on my top five list of books. Thank you very much, Halffast, for your work. Mark's last line was perfect, by the way.
Perhaps sometime in the future, you could write a story chronicling Gunny's adventures or something along those lines. That would be pretty cool, considering there is a lot of mystery surrounding Gunny's past with the Marines.
Perhaps sometime in the future, you could write a story chronicling Gunny's adventures or something along those lines. That would be pretty cool, considering there is a lot of mystery surrounding Gunny's past with the Marines.
i finished the story with the perfect Coldplay song going... "The Scientist"...
"Come up to meet you,
Tell you I’m sorry,
You don’t know how lovely you are
I had to find you,
Tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets,
And ask me your questions,
Aww let’s go back to the start
Runnin’ in circles,
Coming our tails,
Heads on the science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Aww take me back to the start..."
so, i assume that everything is back to normal? and the photovoltaic panels are just an improvement to the past's energy problems?
...fantasic book, halffast. get a good publisher, publish it in hardcover with a good cover, and sell some signed ones... i'd sure as hell buy a signed one, you can count on that...
~TMM
"Come up to meet you,
Tell you I’m sorry,
You don’t know how lovely you are
I had to find you,
Tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets,
And ask me your questions,
Aww let’s go back to the start
Runnin’ in circles,
Coming our tails,
Heads on the science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Aww take me back to the start..."
so, i assume that everything is back to normal? and the photovoltaic panels are just an improvement to the past's energy problems?
...fantasic book, halffast. get a good publisher, publish it in hardcover with a good cover, and sell some signed ones... i'd sure as hell buy a signed one, you can count on that...
~TMM
Dave Markowitz
Member
Well done, sir, and thank you for the fine read!
larry_minn
Member
Sorry but on reflection I would have to change my earlier post.
You didn't develop the last three chapters. They should have been over 10 chapters. Jon was still alive and with Karate man the new Sheriff..... He also has a son/daughter on the way. His daughter might be (knocked up)
Tons of places you could/should have gone. (ok so I am trying to push you to do more writing. ) Thanks.
You didn't develop the last three chapters. They should have been over 10 chapters. Jon was still alive and with Karate man the new Sheriff..... He also has a son/daughter on the way. His daughter might be (knocked up)
Tons of places you could/should have gone. (ok so I am trying to push you to do more writing. ) Thanks.
Here is the entire book in one zip. The pdf's are not merged but they are all there.
http://lightsout.b00m.biz/lightsout.zip
http://lightsout.b00m.biz/lightsout.zip
hkOrion
Member
Ditto on the praise. Awesome job.
Fly320s
Member
Very well done, halffast.
Take the rest of the day off. You can start on the sequel tomorrow. After you get this one shipped to the publisher.
Take the rest of the day off. You can start on the sequel tomorrow.
After you get this one shipped to the publisher.TexasRifleman
Moderator Emeritus
larry_minn said:
First off, I have enjoyed the story so very much it's hard for me to criticize at all.
That said, I do agree that it seemed kind of rushed at the end, like it ended just to get it over with. All that buildup and the final confrontation was very quick.
If you feel like returning to the story I do agree that there could be more here at the end of the journey.
No_Brakes23
Member
Awesome.
When it becomes published it will find its way on the shelf somewhere amongst Earth Abides, The Stand, Enemies Foreign & Domestic, Pulling Through, The Postman, etc.
Good job, Halffast.
When it becomes published it will find its way on the shelf somewhere amongst Earth Abides, The Stand, Enemies Foreign & Domestic, Pulling Through, The Postman, etc.
Good job, Halffast.
Henry Bowman
Senior Member
That is known as the climax, and he simply put it at the end (where it belongs) rather than drag it out or follow it by 2 or 3 uneventful (and unnecessary) chapters. I think Halffast found a great "resolution" to the story to bring one era to a close and let us imagine the next.
I would love to help get this book to press, but I would be little more than a groupie or cheerleader. I will offer to register or help register the copyright, as I did for Matt Bracken.
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