armedandsafe
Member
I only paid 30 bucks for it and it's worth at least 300. 
Pops
Pops
Your Biggest Whopper
- Thread starter depicts
- Start date
- Status
lawson
Member
one of my fishing buddies (and local automotive painter/pinstriper) used to spin a yarn about his youth in the midwest. it went something like this:
"me and my buddy were fishing off the dam, and i look over to the other side, and see a monster german brown swimming around in a still pool. now a trout like that is like a bull in a walmart; lord knows how he got there and danged if he knows what he's doing. so we both tried dropping all manner of baits and rigs down there, but we couldn't get him to bite for anything. so after a while, i got frustrated and grab my old Springfield 45/70 and sight up. my buddy's screamin' "danny, danny, don't shoot that fish!", so i didn't. i shot next to him. the water splashed at least 10 feet in the air, and the fish is flopping around on the shore, so i hiked down and picked him up. he weighed in at 23 lbs. when asked what i used, i told the guy at the bait store it was a "springfield lure". 'course, things were different back then...."
"me and my buddy were fishing off the dam, and i look over to the other side, and see a monster german brown swimming around in a still pool. now a trout like that is like a bull in a walmart; lord knows how he got there and danged if he knows what he's doing. so we both tried dropping all manner of baits and rigs down there, but we couldn't get him to bite for anything. so after a while, i got frustrated and grab my old Springfield 45/70 and sight up. my buddy's screamin' "danny, danny, don't shoot that fish!", so i didn't. i shot next to him. the water splashed at least 10 feet in the air, and the fish is flopping around on the shore, so i hiked down and picked him up. he weighed in at 23 lbs. when asked what i used, i told the guy at the bait store it was a "springfield lure". 'course, things were different back then...."
silicon wolverine
member
Difference between a fairy tale and a sea story
a fairy tale starts with: "once upon a time..."
a sea story starts with: "alright now this aint no bull..."
SW
a fairy tale starts with: "once upon a time..."
a sea story starts with: "alright now this aint no bull..."
SW
sm
member
Larry ,
I have pulled some stupids in my life. Two "events" I competed in and won:
-Sit-Ups contest. I was young, lanky, and really stupid. I just kept going until I was the last one doing sit-ups. Getting ...attempting to get out of bed the next morning I discovered stomach muscles...
-Pancake eating contest to raise money for our (private) range at the time.
About the only I wanted to have anything with pancakes for a bit was to use for targets. I mean these do make great targets and you do not have to clean them up...of course I tested this ....stationary or "flung". How do you think I got good at shooting Moon Pies?
I have pulled some stupids in my life. Two "events" I competed in and won:
-Sit-Ups contest. I was young, lanky, and really stupid. I just kept going until I was the last one doing sit-ups. Getting ...attempting to get out of bed the next morning I discovered stomach muscles...
-Pancake eating contest to raise money for our (private) range at the time.
About the only I wanted to have anything with pancakes for a bit was to use for targets. I mean these do make great targets and you do not have to clean them up...of course I tested this ....stationary or "flung". How do you think I got good at shooting Moon Pies?
It was a big burger. 1 pound of meat (after cooking) with bacon, and onion rings, and cheese, on a bun the size of a loaf of bread. Then you also had to do a pound and a half plate of chili cheese fries, and a large shake.
It wasn't even hard.
Though I did go into meat shock. I finished dinner, went home, and slept for 15 hours.
It wasn't even hard.
Though I did go into meat shock. I finished dinner, went home, and slept for 15 hours.
HankB
Member
When I was younger, my Uncle Bob and I were looking for a place to hunt. We found a farm with a lot of uncleared woods alongside, so I said "Bob, why don't we ask that farmer if we can hunt on his land?"
Bob said "Naw, farmers hereabouts don't cotton to no hunt'n on their land, he'll just cuss you out."
Well, being young and naive, I said "Uncle Bob, just stop the truck, I'll go knock on his door and ask him."
Uncle Bob reluctantly obliged.
So I went up to the farmhouse, and saw there was some livestock in the pasture alongside, including some cattle and a sickly looking old nag of a horse.
I knocked on the door, and when the farmer opened it I introduced myself and asked if my Uncle Bob and I might hunt his land . . .
Farmer gave me a funny look, and after a little chit-chat he allowed as it would be OK for us to hunt, provided we did him a favor . . . his sickly old horse needed to be put down, the vet was out of town, and since he didn't have the heart to kill Ol' Dobbin himself, he asked me to do it - if it was quick and painless Uncle Bob and I could hunt his land all season.
Well, I'm no horse killer, but I - reluctantly - agreed.
Well, now as I'm going back to the truck for my rifle, there's old Uncle Bob, laughing his fool head off - "Told ya it was wastin' your time! What did he say?"
Well, I figure I'm going to teach Uncle Bob a lesson. "That miserable old coot cussed me out good."
I reached into the back, took out my rifle, and started loading it.
Bob said "Hey, you can't kill a man for cussing you out!"
I said "It ain't him I'm going to shoot - I'm going to kill his %$#! horse!"
So I stepped around to the side so I could draw a bead on Ol' Dobbin, put the crosshairs between his eyes, and touched off my .30/06.
Ol' Dobbin fell like a ton of bricks.
BANG! BANG! from behind me - there's Uncle Bob, jumping back in the truck with his rifle, saying "And I got two of his cows - let's get the h*** out of here!"
Bob said "Naw, farmers hereabouts don't cotton to no hunt'n on their land, he'll just cuss you out."
Well, being young and naive, I said "Uncle Bob, just stop the truck, I'll go knock on his door and ask him."
Uncle Bob reluctantly obliged.
So I went up to the farmhouse, and saw there was some livestock in the pasture alongside, including some cattle and a sickly looking old nag of a horse.
I knocked on the door, and when the farmer opened it I introduced myself and asked if my Uncle Bob and I might hunt his land . . .
Farmer gave me a funny look, and after a little chit-chat he allowed as it would be OK for us to hunt, provided we did him a favor . . . his sickly old horse needed to be put down, the vet was out of town, and since he didn't have the heart to kill Ol' Dobbin himself, he asked me to do it - if it was quick and painless Uncle Bob and I could hunt his land all season.
Well, I'm no horse killer, but I - reluctantly - agreed.
Well, now as I'm going back to the truck for my rifle, there's old Uncle Bob, laughing his fool head off - "Told ya it was wastin' your time! What did he say?"
Well, I figure I'm going to teach Uncle Bob a lesson. "That miserable old coot cussed me out good."
I reached into the back, took out my rifle, and started loading it.
Bob said "Hey, you can't kill a man for cussing you out!"
I said "It ain't him I'm going to shoot - I'm going to kill his %$#! horse!"
So I stepped around to the side so I could draw a bead on Ol' Dobbin, put the crosshairs between his eyes, and touched off my .30/06.
Ol' Dobbin fell like a ton of bricks.
BANG! BANG! from behind me - there's Uncle Bob, jumping back in the truck with his rifle, saying "And I got two of his cows - let's get the h*** out of here!"
mbs357
Member
Hank...man...lmao...
I hope that's not true.
I hope that's not true.
Tom Bri
Member
Two true ones. First one I was about ten, shooting a daisy BB gun. Climbed up into the haymow to hunt sparrows. Saw a pigeon land on an overhead rafter. On instinct shot from the hip, never expecting to come anywhere near it. Hit it right in the eye and dropped it. Felt pretty bad about that, a daisy just doesn't have enough umph to kill a pigeon clean, even shot right in the eye. Didn't shoot at pigeons after that.
Second one, I was 22, and always walked or rode home the same route passing a house that had a herd of mean noisy dogs who liked to come out and nip my horse's heels. So I didn't like those dogs and always kind of worried they might bite me or make my horse so skittish she threw me off. So, one night I was walking home, and I picked up a fist sized rock in case the dogs got too close. And one did. It was black dark, but I could hear that dog coming. I wound up and threw that rock as hard as I could at the sound, and the barks cut off with a yelp. Never saw that dog again. Figure I killed him. And the remaining dogs were much more respectful after that too.
Best story I heard was a guy who threw a chunk of firewood at a BULL to chase it out of his yard, and killed it stone dead. And, how do you kill a bull with a split log? Never figured it out.
Second one, I was 22, and always walked or rode home the same route passing a house that had a herd of mean noisy dogs who liked to come out and nip my horse's heels. So I didn't like those dogs and always kind of worried they might bite me or make my horse so skittish she threw me off. So, one night I was walking home, and I picked up a fist sized rock in case the dogs got too close. And one did. It was black dark, but I could hear that dog coming. I wound up and threw that rock as hard as I could at the sound, and the barks cut off with a yelp. Never saw that dog again. Figure I killed him. And the remaining dogs were much more respectful after that too.
Best story I heard was a guy who threw a chunk of firewood at a BULL to chase it out of his yard, and killed it stone dead. And, how do you kill a bull with a split log? Never figured it out.
True story The woman who told it to me was a missionary nurse in the Yukon, and she had pics. She was out visiting a village where they had an outbreak of some ailment. She decided after several hours that a visit to the Biffy was needed. She pulled on her gear and walked out to the outhouse and had just sat down and pulled her mittens back on while she waited for nature. Suddenly the door was struck a mighty blow, and then another and a very large brown bear stucks its head thru the door and an lunged at her. It got one of her 'Boo fur mittens in its mouth and then retreated. She then heard a car horn and sees head lights flash around the building. The car door opens and someone yells "come on, its over the hill." She makes a dash for the car and gets in, it is a villager who saw the bear attack the outhouse. Next morning it is light enough to go looking for the bear, the villagers believe it is a trash bear that had started hanging around the village and had gotten a few dogs. Just over the hill, lies the bear, it had died from suffocating/choking on the mitten, the fur went in so far and then got stuck. The bear was a 2 year old male that had a mangle foot from a battle it was figured with an adult male who did not like him in his territory. She killed the bear with a mitten.
musher
Member
Desk Jockey, it's easy to tell a fib. The art lies in misdirecting the truth
Observe:
Honey, I've had this gun for awhile. Haven't you seen it before?
Stevie-Ray
Member
Nope. Whopper = hamburger. Whaler = fish
On the bear front, I've been told this by a bunch of uncles and my mother as well, so it must be true. She was raised in the wilds of the Michigan Upper Peninsula on a farm, and several times when one of the kids saw a bear in the garden or in the pig pen they went scurrying into the house hollering at my grandpa to "get your shotgun, there's a bear out there!" His response was generally, "That's alright, yer maw is after im."
And my sweet ol grandma would indeed be out there beating hell out of that bear with her broom. She never lost.
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked
