I am now an old hunter that is very conflicted. I love to be in the woods, I love to hunt deer but, I could not care less about killing an animal.
Last year, I let all the deer I could have killed walk telling myself that I would take the next animal; I never did and none of my tags were filled. I loved walking thru the wood and fields with my favorite tack-driving rifle, I tell myself that I cannot miss which within reason is probably true. All of the youthful excitement of seeing a deer, placing the crosshairs and making the shot is all gone. All of the excitement leading up to that moment is still there.
Last year, I spotted many deer (including some very nice bucks) moving in and out of a cornfield. It was a managed muzzleloader hunt and I had the entire property to myself (provably due to the 18” of fresh snow on the ground). I could have easily moved into a shooting position and killed one of those animals but I talked myself out of the long haul with a dead carcass in the deep snow - I was very happy passing on the deer and walking to my truck to head home empty-handed.
In my youth, if any legal deer walked into my shooting range, it was killed with great excitement - I felt accomplished. Now I let them walk and I feel accomplished. Maybe I am not conflicted - maybe I am just in a better place - I now just enjoy my time on the hunt, I still carry a rifle and I still chase deer but something has grandly changed when it is time to pull the trigger - very strange to me.
Last year, I let all the deer I could have killed walk telling myself that I would take the next animal; I never did and none of my tags were filled. I loved walking thru the wood and fields with my favorite tack-driving rifle, I tell myself that I cannot miss which within reason is probably true. All of the youthful excitement of seeing a deer, placing the crosshairs and making the shot is all gone. All of the excitement leading up to that moment is still there.
Last year, I spotted many deer (including some very nice bucks) moving in and out of a cornfield. It was a managed muzzleloader hunt and I had the entire property to myself (provably due to the 18” of fresh snow on the ground). I could have easily moved into a shooting position and killed one of those animals but I talked myself out of the long haul with a dead carcass in the deep snow - I was very happy passing on the deer and walking to my truck to head home empty-handed.
In my youth, if any legal deer walked into my shooting range, it was killed with great excitement - I felt accomplished. Now I let them walk and I feel accomplished. Maybe I am not conflicted - maybe I am just in a better place - I now just enjoy my time on the hunt, I still carry a rifle and I still chase deer but something has grandly changed when it is time to pull the trigger - very strange to me.