For outdoor self defense, the 125gr JHP is one of the most devastating rounds against humans and cougars you can use out of a .357 revolver. And in the 80s, it could defeat many types of body armor. For defense against heavier animals, the 158gr JSPs should be used. So don't hesitate to buy and use 125gr JHPs for defense; just don't shoot them a lot if you have one of the lighter frame Smiths.
Stainless steel resists gas cutting better than blued guns. This is because it has chromium in it, which keeps the heat and flames from leeching the carbon out of the steel and causing it to become brittle. I've seen cracked forcing cones on some Smith K-frame guns, even stainless, but oddly only on a few Ruger Security-Sixes (and most with needlessly hot reloads). The Rugers had forcing cones about the same size as the K-frame Smiths, but they didn't seem to suffer the forcing cone wear that the Smiths did. Why? Who knows? The Rugers that were rented out at ranges had incredibly long lives according to many unsubstantiated accounts I've heard (which is why so many ranges used them as rentals). Even after the GP-100s had been around for awhile, you'd go to a range and still see well worn Security-Sixes on the rental racks. So yes, Rugers last.
For home self defense just about any magnum's going to be excessively hot, but for camping, hiking, hunting or cross country in a car, the .357 125 gr JHP is going to be great. The 158gr JHP works better on larger animals, but isn't a super manstopper. All in all, I'd take the former over the latter. Think Dennis Hopper in Duel.