I'd get the .41 Mountain Gun.
You've already owned the .45 and it evidently didn't do enough for you that you traded it away and are still comparing it to .41s. .38 Supers, and 10mms. That fact alone should signal a gut check for wanting a .41 Magnum. Have some fun and do it.
I've owned a few Rugers and Smiths in both .41Mag & .44Mag/Special. I continue to own several today. The .41s are my absolute favorite revolvers.
I don't find a lot of difference using top end loads in terms of blast, flash, & percieved recoil. A hot load with heavy bullet in .41 is a pretty stiff handfull even when compared to peer .44s. A Remington 210 JSP will get your attention and that of others on the firing line. With mid-range 180-210 grain loads, the .41 begins to deliver less percieved recoil than the .44 (Magnum). With 175's (light bullet < 1300fps), the.41 is a pussycat out of a big gun.
In either caliber, an adjustable sight N-Frame is able to shoot to point of aim at practical handgun ranges (muzzle to 25 yards). You'd have to be shooting distant steel rams before the .41's slightly flatter trajectory would even be noticeable.
You stated that you want the caliber for self defense or occasional deer harvesting/finishing. That in mind, unless you truly intend to shoot it often, I'll be the dissenter to the cliche that you can only own a .41 if you reload.
IMHO, Winchester's 175 grain Silvertip (1250fps) is probably the best factory produced self-defense round for the .41 Magnum. Recoil out of a 4" N-Frame 57 or 58 is a lot milder than most 125 grain .357s out of 4" K-Frames. Comparable to firing .44 Special out of the same sized revolver. Easy to shoot, easy on the hand, relatively quick recoil recovery. A relatively heavy and expanding bullet doing moderately high speed, but easily managed. It is perfectly adequate for deer at short range (inside 40 yards).
A little more delivered oomph than the classic "ideal police" load of 1000 fps and forty caliber or greater.
As a bonus, it is often priced as the cheapest available factory .41 load. I occasionally find boxes still sitting on gunstore shelves at prices under $20 per box. I've gotten a discount by offering to buy all they had (5 or six boxes).
Some current vendors:
$18.50 box of 20 / $19.25 x 10 boxes -
http://www.outdoormarksman.com/product_info.php?cPath=65_1_18
&products_id=185
$24.49 box of 20 -
http://www.midwayusa.com/viewProduct/?productNumber=396918
It's the only self defense / general purpose round I carry in my .41s.
Here's a good IWB holster setup for N-Frames or Blackhawks:
http://www.caboholster.com/
Hope this helps.