Well see if any of the shops have an FNP-9 or -9M she can try on, they are excellent pistols and have a very nice grip to them. Not large either, given what they are.
I took an old GF shooting at a range that has rentals, and she liked the Kahr a lot, except the magazine with the pinky extension pinched her finger. The regular magazine was no problem. Has your wife experienced this?
My wife has not complained of pinky pinch with the magazine base of the P9
She has shot the Glock 19 and Glock 26; they are okay to her, but the P9 is her absolute favorite.
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