Another example of why intervening in a domestic is a bad idea

[MachIVshooter]

This one very good reason for the well-meaning citizen who may be tempted to intervene in a situation to "defend" an "innocent third party" to do a little risk analysis first.

I would say analysis in general. Just as trying to defend someone else in a deadly force situation, it can be tricky to know who is who if you're not privy to the entire thing.

That said, if some dude is beating the hell out of a female, there's not much question as to which one of them is the aggressor.

I've read through the replies, lots of sage advise. For some of us, though, the protective instinct is rather strong, very difficult to suppress, regardless of what our rational mind tells us we should do. I might be able to stay out of a conflict between domestic partners if I didn't think there was a likelihood of serious injury or death. If it were a child being assaulted by an adult? Accuse me of internet bravado if you please, but as sure as the sun rises in the East, I'm gonna treat the abuser to a no-expenses-paid ride in a bus to the ER. I have absolutely zero tolerance for child abuse (and I don't mean spanking, but actual, injury-causing abuse), and have no problem facing the music for my actions if it means protecting a kid. IMO, some instant, painful justice that comes out of nowhere is liable to have a much more profound effect than our impotent legal system's handling of such matters, make the abuser think twice in the future. Unfortunately, the extreme majority of child abuse happens in private homes, where we have no opportunity to actively stop it, are forced to use said ineffective measures and count on an inept system to save these kids.

I do apologize for the rant, get pretty fired up when the subject of spousal and especially child abuse is brought up. My comments on the legal system are also just that; I do not blame LEO's for the failures once it leaves their hands.

 

[Jack B.]

I had a LEO tell me that he hated working Thanksgiving evening. He said by that time some family's had been drinking all day and were at each others throats. Most of his calls were domestic violence complaints. Sad.

 

[lemaymiami]

That sort of stuff, in my experience, was a common factor in almost every holiday - where domestic troubles - if they occurred, seemed particularly nasty... All you need is lots of family (with all their contradictions and unresolved issues) then add alcohol (or other substances) and stir in proximity - then look out!

One other item about domestic problems - they might involve anyone at all, from day laborers living really close to the bone - to wealthy families with good educations and other favorable circumstances...

Just thinking about those days makes me appreciate being long retired out of police work. You just rarely got to see people at their best.... and it wears on you over the years (understatement). About six months into retirement - I felt five years younger....

 

[JeffG]

That sort of stuff, in my experience, was a common factor in almost every holiday - where domestic troubles - if they occurred, seemed particularly nasty... All you need is lots of family (with all their contradictions and unresolved issues) then add alcohol (or other substances) and stir in proximity - then look out!

One other item about domestic problems - they might involve anyone at all, from day laborers living really close to the bone - to wealthy families with good educations and other favorable circumstances...

Just thinking about those days makes me appreciate being long retired out of police work. You just rarely got to see people at their best.... and it wears on you over the years (understatement). About six months into retirement - I felt five years younger....

Nobody called us over and said "That lab puppy is just starting to retrieve....watch." "Johnny got straight "A's" this semester." It was always the catalyzed explosion of years of dysfunction. Then the one who intervenes becomes the enemy, cop or civilian.

 

[Old Guy]

I have two comments, both on Child abuse. Me aged 53, quite fit. In a Loblaws store, supermarket, Toronto Canada. Me white, married to an Indian Lady from Guyana. Why tell you this? The narrative requires it.
Young black male, mixed child, about 3 yoa? For some reason, he slapped her very hard on the leg!
All around, new immigrants, Chinese, they all headed away! Me, an immigrant as well, years before.

Stepped in, close to him "How are you against a man?" Real close, bad breath distance.
He said "Its none of your business," He said. I was so close his face was rippling with fear! I was dying to break his nose. But in Canada? That would not have ended well. I followed him to his car, took his plate, he placed the little girl carefully in her seat.
We were in 41 Div. I knew half the Cops in that Div. Two Detectives called on him, were invited in by the Lady.

Quite an interview took place. Not sure of the outcome, but I did what I could.

My good Buddy, who retired as a Deputy Chief, first call, a domestic, on his new job as a Moto Cycle Cop.

An English man like me. I did not meet him, till he was a Dep. Chief. He told me this story.
Parked his bike on the Street, up 3 flights of stairs, knock on the door of an apartment, over a store.
On Younge Street, Toronto. Female answered the door, split lip, black eye.
A male occupant in the easy chair, beer bottle in hand. Baby in the cot, standing up, crying.
"Do you want to lay a charge for your damages?"

She said, "I don't care about me, but he hit the Baby, which is not his!"

He took her statement, she signed it. (did I say, his very first call as a Police Officer?) Took him, in cuffs, out of the door. The little girl had bruises on her legs.

The door closed, the abuser fell down each set of steps! Oh oops! Keeping him trapped against his Harly, with his foot, he used the call box phone to call it in. After the Black Maria came to transport the prisoner,
it was noticed he had a bad burn on his leg? Seemed like a hot exhaust pipe was the culprit.

This was the 60s, things were a little different then.

 

[george29]

The 60's through the 80's was a different world. I can't even imagine what type of sensitivity training these guys have to go through today.

 

[george29]

How about “Genovese syndrome”
You can’t help someone if your unwilling.....just saying
See sig VV

You are entirely right (about the sig) but I don't think Genovese was a domestic. I guess it's more a case-by-case decision.

Now here's a real story that I've already mentioned a few years back. I won't write it all over again but here's the link

https://www.abqjournal.com/news/metro/384533metro08-26-05.htm

The DA was going to charge the shooter who was in his 70's (?) but massive public outcry made her (Kari Brandenburg) back down. She was an embarrassment.