Best Caliber Against Monkeys?

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TBeck

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First, they came for the deputy mayor. Now they are after the children.

Is anyone really safe? What happens if they link up with Iran? Are our borders secure?

So, which caliber to use WTMHTF? They don't look to be much more than fifty pounds. But they're probably tougher than they look. WWMJU (what would Milla Jovovich use?)
 
Ibtl!

Evil,nasty little creatures. 12 gauge buckshot all the way.

City authorities have experimented with using langurs — a larger and fiercer kind of monkey — to scare or catch the macaques, but the problem persists.
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Uh...am I the only one who can see where this might lead to problems?
 
What, you gonna tell me that they don't still have a good supply of .303, and the rifles to fire 'em, still laying around there somewhere?
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Well, yeah, of course they do. But these monkeys are fast. And they mostly come out at night. Mostly.

Trying to draw a bead on one with a war-surp Enfield isn't as easy as it sounds. I tend to agree that a shotgun of some sort is the way to go. A 20-gauge would probably fit the bill nicely, allowing fast followup shots and still providing enough oomph for great big gobs of mutilated monkey meat.

Although, it wouldn't surprise me to see some 16 gauges in that part of the world, which should also work nicely.
 
Time to convert your poodle shooters into primate shooters!

None of the monkeys seem very big - a well placed .22 would do the trick. But a less well placed .223 would also be adequate.
 
But what if they creep in at night to try and whack you in your sleep? You'll need something under the pillow.

Guard animals are another option, too. We all know that a mongoose can kill a cobra, but a full-grown monkey probably needs something more massive. I'd start importing Rhodesian Ridgebacks if I were them.
 
Trying to draw a bead on one with a war-surp Enfield isn't as easy as it sounds. I tend to agree that a shotgun of some sort is the way to go.
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If they're close enough for a shotgun, then getting "minute of monkey" accuracy, even at night, out of an old Enfield should be an easy task.

Then again, a 12g. and a sack-full of "dragon's breath" rounds could be entertaining too... :p :D :evil:

Might be a little hard on the buildings and furniture, however... :eek:



J.C.
 
I used to pop baboons in Africa with a .308 - nasty, aggressive, scarily-smart creatures.
 
HA!! I was watchin Discovert's "Planet Earth" the other night, and it was the jungle one, they were showing all the different kinds of monkeys and I wondered, what caliber would be best? and then of course 00 buck, its about a cure all, except grizzlies of course.
 
I'm not normally a shotgun fan, but I honestly have to say this is one situation where there probably isn't any concievable choice that would work better. Except for modifiedbrowning's, of course.
 
Now listen monkey... I know you're thinkin' was that five rounds or six... well in all the excitement I kinda lost track myself... so do ya feel lucky monkey? Well do ya?
 
flame thrower and burn the woods down...no more monkeys

but yes, 12 gauge shotgun semi auto 11-87 with a box or drum magazine conversion for fast reloading could be the best bet
 
"And they mostly come out at night. Mostly."

HA! Awesome! :D

Those monkeys are gonna come in here... Game over man! Game over!

Edit: "They should nuke them from orbit, it's the only way to be sure."

Didn't see that one! another great quote!
 
Actualy most of the places with the biggest monkey problems have laws agaisnt harming them.
I recall tourists having many problems with wild monkeys stealing items like passports, cameras and other items they found insteresting they could snatch.
They also did not always steal them like pick pockets, and sometimes would attack an individual several at a time, sometimes latching on or even jumping at or biting them in the face while other monkeys snatched items and ran. The injuries were usualy superficial, merely to distract, but a wild animal attacking is a wild animal attacking. Other times they would just take unattended or poorly guarded items off of an individual or in reach of the individual.

Due to the restrictions against harming them they would often then follow the monkey especialy if it had something important like thier passport and try to barter with food to get them to drop it or take interest in the food instead.


Of course sometimes they simply ran off keeping whatever it was or dropping it elsewhere.
 
Size 12 steel toe boot ought to do the trick.
Lacking that I would go with chinese type 77 chambered in 12.7x107 mm.
Anyone know that gun? I tried to pick something obscure.
 
What, you gonna tell me that they don't still have a good supply of .303, and the rifles to fire 'em, still laying around there somewhere?
Click to expand...

My experience with that part of the world is that even the "armed" police are lucky to get three rounds for their mil-surp Enfield (or whatever they have). And it could very well take three rounds to hit the quick little bastards...
 
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