Andym79,
I am personally not into revolvers, but if I owned one, it'd be a .357. Muzzle flash can be mitigated by choice of ammunition, if that's a consideration, and I personally would not worry about the difference in decibels between a .38 and a .357. You are exceedingly unlikely to actually have to fire the gun indoors, and if you are ever in a situation that dire, then noise will not be high on your priority list.
Both my wife and I keep 9mm's for home defense purposes. Mine is a S&W 3913LS loaded with Cor-Bon 115-grain +P ammunition (around 1350 feet per second from a 4" barrel, slightly less from my handgun). My wife's is a Glock 26 9mm with a 15-round magazine, loaded with Federal 124-grain JHP's. Couple of carbines in the gun safe if we ever feel the need.