Buying a gun for my wife

[tayen2]

I have yet to have ANY woman say they prefer a revolver (although Spoon DOES want a Ruger SP101 in .357)

I'm a woman and I prefer revolvers. My main plinking gun is a 6" colt Peacekeeper .357 and I have a Colt Cobra for carrying.

I like shooting other things but I love shooting revolvers. I've even converted the husband, he still enjoys Glocks and Ruger pistols, but more and more lately he's been buying his own revolvers instead of just borrowing mine.

 

[sniper5]

Mine finally decided to give it a try after 29 years as a gun hater. After teaching her safety and basics of shooting, during which I emphasized how important it is for the gun to fit her and pointing out how to tell, I rented everything available for her to try. Then I got out of her way. Her choice: A Ruger GP100 in stainless with a 6 inch barrel with the small old style grips with Wenge inserts I made for her (she likes boldly figured dark wood) and a HiViz front sight with red insert and a Wolff spring kit with the lightest springs. Loads: .38 Wadcutters, .38 +P 125 grain HP, and light .357 Magnum loads with 110 grain HP. She shoots it well, it's hers, if fits her, she loves it and uses the word "beautiful".

It IS about her.

 

[HexHead]

I don't know if introducing the misses, perfect angel or not, to shooting with her eventual carry-piece is necessarily the way to pursue this.

My wife will shoot about anything, my 442 included, but who can honestly say a 442 is "fun"?

My wife really really enjoys shooting my BHP. The ergonomics are good for her, it's a very elegant looking thing, and she's damn good with it, and that creates enthusiasm that builds on itself. Something to think about.

When my wife started talking about getting her carry permit, I bought a 442 in case she wanted to carry that for all the usual reasons. She absolutely HATED it. So now it's one of my BUGs and whenever I buy another gun, she's always asking me if I'm going to sell the 442 now? LOLOLOL

She too loves my BHP, used it to qualify with for her HCP and it's still her favorite pistol. But it's too large to carry comfortably with it's adjustable sights. Last year we went to the NRA convention aka the world's largest gun show, and she looked at everything in the quest for a carry pistol she could call her own. She's petite, with short fingers so the grip size was paramount. I know, it's amazing or the genius of JMB that the BHP fits her so well!
Between that show, and the subsequent gun show/shop crawl, she narrowed her choices down to the Springfield EMP or the Para PDA. We initially got her the Springfield (although the Para was her 1st choice) since it was a true 1911 and the manual of arms would be consistent with the rest of the pistols in the house). That example ended up not working out for us and we swapped it for her emotional favorite, the Para PDA with the LDA trigger.

She shoots it almost as well as the BHP now, and most importantly she picked out the pistol she felt most comfortable with.

To the OP, if your wife was changing the backstrap on the M&P it sounds like she prefers a thinner grip. Also sounds like she likes 9mm, which is fine as a cartridge. You might want her to take a look at a 9mm 1911, especially a compact one which is designed from the get go to be a 9mm like the EMP or the Para. My wife loves the simplicity of the Para with the LDA trigger, and the feel of the 1911 design.

 

[TexasRedneck]

My better half carries a Mdl 35 S&W, has a .357 SS S&W in her nightstand. Says the 35 is lighter than the Sig P232 I bought her last year, or the P238 I bought for a pocket gun for myself last week so I could "retire" my pair of Colt Mustangs back to the safe.

 

[wrs840]

Oh yeah... One more thing:

Yesterday, for the first time, she carried!

It wasnt' crazy, wasnt fancy, just put a full mag in a Glock 33/27 not chambered, and put it in her purse. Just to get the 'feel' of the weight and what it might be like to know there is a firearm in her purse.

A woman carrying her gun in her purse is not a good idea, since most ladies aren't constantly in control of their purse, and even when they are, it's not unusual for the handbag itself to be the focus of a surprise attack. She doesn't want to start the altercation by arming the bad-guy, or at minimum, begin her defense with a struggle for her own weapon as the BG tries to take the purse.

Les

 

[Badlander]

Whatever you end up with let her pick it out herself. when my wife started shooting my .22 she soon wanted A larger caliber. I recomended A .357 revolver. She wanted A 9mm. I tried pointing her at lower priced guns for her first pistol. No go! she wanted the Sig 228. She got it.
Several years later I came home with A S+W 686 with A 4" barrel. She tried it out And claimed it for herself. Has not fired the Sig since.

 

[stickhauler]

My Dear Wife....

At age 69 shot for the first time, she felt I was over-reacting to the way things were going in 2008, and when I told her I was getting a concealed carry permit (right about the same time our oldest child said he was getting his as well) she near freaked out. That lasted until the first of the year, when a young mother who lived about 4 blocks from us was killed in a home invasion deal. Suddenly, I had a wife intensely interested in learning to defend herself.

She likes shooting my XD-9, but can't rack the slide worth squat (oddly enough she can operate our son's Bersa Thunder Compact in 9mm quite well. She had a fair knowledge of revolvers, and had bought me a .38 Ruger revolver years ago for Christmas. That gun has become her personal handgun, she's confident in how to work the gun, her time on the range impressed the hell out of me for a first time shooter.

That to me is the most important thing in arming a family member, they have to be able to work the firearm, and feel confident that they can use it in an emergency situation. It eased my mind a lot seeing how well she can use that old Ruger, as I work out of town and am usually gone all week.

 

[Hungry Seagull]

You can add my spouse to the potential new owner of a handgun at some point in the future. It's going to be settled very few minutes at the range with the handgun. Either she likes it and wants one or not at all and sticks with mossberg and company.

 

[ReadyRob]

Great story Polar Express.

My wife has started showing interest in guns and I took her to the range yesterday and started her with a 22 revolver. After about 30 rounds she wanted to try my SW 642. Thirty more rounds and she liked it better that the 22, and on the paper 90% of the time.

I've noted the other recommendations and I will see what I can round up for her to try.

 

[Polar Express]

I may not have been clear about the grips on the M&P, she actually liked the large ones, not the small or medium. She's got LOOONG fingers. (but in case she reads this, I need to be very clear they are still femanine and very purrrdy)

I agree that carrying in a purse or handbag is not the ideal situation. All it takes is a surprise "purse-snatcher" and you have a problem. And yes, I love my wife dearly, but paying attention to details (like where her purse is) is not one of her strong points. I have a hard time getting her to keep her cell phone on her when she runs.:banghead:

We can all sit here and dream up a bunch of scenarios and find flaws in them, and try to plan for every little potential variance from each scenario, or I can just be happy that she's taken a baby step towards the idea of carrying a firearm for personal defense. I am grateful for that. I'm going to choose to be happy that she is starting down this road. I for one, think it's a wonderful road by the way. And as a caring husband, her safety is my paramount concern. And, I for one, would rather have her carry in her purse, than not at all.

PE

 

[Polar Express]

update

Well folks, here's the latest.

Yesterday, we went to a semi-local gun store. One with LOTS of inventory, and my wife was in the mood, so we started comparing how different guns felt.

The guy behind the counter began with the Glock product, then the M&P, she tried the Sig, (forget what model, but it was the 9mm, single stack mag) a Kahr, and a I forget what model Kimber it was, but it was a short 1911. They didn't have a mustang.

We were not prepared to spend the time in the range shooting, but she instantly went for the M&P 9mm compact, and every other gun was compared back to it, and each time, the M&P won out on 'feel'.

She didn't even want to consider revolvers. So.... it's amazing how our mental perceptions influence our choices, and while I believe it's a good gun, I really thought that Sig product would give it a run, and I thought the Kahr might be the sleeper due to the slender dimensions.

On a side note, I got to hold that FN 5-7 jewel, and ooooohhhh, I'm in lust. someday, I gotta have one of those.

If the thread doesn't die, i'll update it as we progress down this path. I just have to remember to go at her pace, not mine, cuz...... It's not about me, its about her.

 

[SCKimberFan]

If the 9mm works for her (remember, its about her...), then why not look at a 1911 9mm - STI, maybe a Kimber. That way you can be happy with the 1911 and she will enjoy the gun more.

Just my dos centavos...

 

[rocinante]

2 more cents.

Definitely let her try and find what she likes.

Is the firearm meant to be carried or a house gun?

I echo advise about steering her to a revolver. Doesn't seem like much of a feat but I have seen some women have difficulties racking the slide on a semi automatic. If it is for carry revolvers have smaller handles which conceal better or fit in a handbag and can be better for smaller hands. Revolvers are less complicated and do not have safeties that must be remembered to be switched off. As far as caliber 38 special is a good medium recoil round that is more or less accepted as effective.

If you are keen on the semi automatics I had a bersa 380 and overall liked the little gun but the round has more flip than I thought it would. I have a Taurus PT145 in 45 ACP and given the rounds reputation it is surprisingly tame pistol to shoot. My 12 year old son and a few women have fired it and proclaimed ANOTHER MAGAZINE PLEASE. I like that pistol and if I had a carry permit that would be the one. Dimension wise it is very compact not much bigger than the Bersa.

 

[nitetrane98]

Ah to be young again and think that I understand what a woman wants.

 

[Coopersrcool]

My wife has had her carry permit for about a year and is really comfortable with her Glock 19. I don't like Glocks or 9mm ...but it isn't my permit or carry gun.

 

[Polar Express]

rocinante,

it is intended to be a carry gun. we have a shotgun for home defense. And, im actually working on picking up an Ithica 20 ga, since that will serve almost as well for that purpose, and be easier for her to handle, and practice with.... although practicing will be a little hard on the walls in the house.

 

[Polar Express]

we have a winner!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen.....

It appears we have a winner in the 'what's going to be the next gun we buy? sweepstakes...

My wife informed me the other day that she had made her choice, and she likes the M&P Compact, chambered in 9mm.

Soooooo.... yesterday, I went over to my FFL friend's house, and placed an order for her new toy. He said one of his suppliers has them in stock, and he should have it by next week sometime.

I want to thank you all for your time, your suggestions, and your wisdom. I check this thread, and I'll post some updates as they happen.

Happy Birthday America, and a giant thank you to all our current and past military and the descendants of the great Patriots that sacrificed so much to make America great! I pray we act appropriately to honor their efforts and preserve our freedoms!

PE