CCW and relationships

[KBintheSLC]

One word of advise... don't date an anti. Gun ownership is too much of a fundamental belief system and is guaranteed to cause major problems in the long run if you disagree on it. People are usually passionately for or against it, with very few being passively indifferent.

 

[SpecialKalltheway]

read all the posts here, then do what makes you comfortable. If you are to shy/secretive/paranoid/(what ever other positive and negative descriptions can be used here) to let someone know, including a new love interest, that you are carry then don't tell her. If you are the opposite then tell her right up front. If you really truly want one of us to make up your mind for you then I would say tell her asap, you don't need to be wasting a single second trying to court someone that is a complete anti, but if she is against them and hot then it wouldn't hurt to hear her side of the argument

 

[Zoidberg523]

I consider women who like guns to be perfectly "normal."

As do I. In fact, liking guns is a prerequisite for a second date, in my book.

 

[Country_boy_88]

I tell them I work for the company that makes a majority of the military's guns and handle them on a daily basis. I love guns and everything about them plain and simple. If they don't take the hint they can buzz off.

I was fortunate enough to find one who's brother is special forces and has already learned to shoot and shes smoking hot as well

 

[Onward Allusion]

Well,
I am single again after a decade. During that time I began CCW, now that I am single it has caused some minor/frustrating problems with new people. How do you handle letting a recently met person discover your firearm? I usually carry in a Smartcarry, so it isn't easily removed/hidden when things get "intimate".

I keep my carry so secretive that most of my close friends and roommates don't even know I have a gun with me. That makes it harder for me to let new people know about it. Should I downgrade from my full sized .45 to an LCP and just pocket it?

Get to know each other over a few dates first. You'll likely get an idea of the woman's politics and values and vice versa.

As far as carrying on your date, I can't see why not - as long as it is concealed. Might want to switch to something more compact than a 6" S&W 500, however.

It's going to sound cliche', but be true to yourself. I wasn't and ended marrying a gun grabbing lunatic from whom I got the hell away from as soon as I came to my senses.

Also, like WingRider said - if you're on Match.com you can always list your hobby as target shooting to weed out the HCI card holders.

 

[Big Mike]

Interesting post! Great advice above...I say carry whatever you want. That nobody knows you are carrying demonstrates you are doing what you are supposed to be doing. Unless I am in a place where carrying concealed is a prohibited, the what and how where I'm carrying is simply not material in any social context I've been in (outside of carrying as comfortably as i can). I don't know if everyone around me has a wallet, keys, or cell phone in their pockets, but that doesn't mean they're not there. I envision the people you may have the greater challenges with are those who are philosophically opposed to firearms in any context outside of law enforcement carry. For those who are neither for or against, it may be an opportunity for you to be an ambassador and introduce someone to shooting? (best case)

I say you should control the circumstance that surrounds the "discovery" of you carrying a concealed firearm to someone you really like. I think how you carry yourself, the level of consciousness, seriousness and responsibility you demonstrate when you are carrying concealed will showcase your character and will ultimately reflect the type of people choosing to engage in relationships with you. That said, carrying irresponsibly is surefire way to chase away anyone, and carrying responsibly is not a guarantee you will attract or maintain worthwhile relationships. When the issue does come up and it is "discovered" you are carrying, I say it is what it is. In the nearly 20 years I've been carrying, I've never had anyone make me who didn't already know that I carried to begin with. That said, I think that has happened twice.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that if someone is in-to-you, they're in. If they're not, they're not. Good luck! Mike

 

[MarineOne]

I bought my first long gun shortly after getting married. My wife knew that I knew what I was doing, so it didn't bother her until we had children. She became more worried as the kids grew up, until an incident with our downstairs neighbor while living in southern California. Her go to gun now is the M-1 Carbine that I bought for myself last year. She picked it for herself after she had a chance to get some trigger time on a range trip.

I can't complain. She's done this with two of my three trucks as well. At least she took the blinders off and realized changing her point of view was easier than being a victim.



Kris

 

[flrfh213]

I'd say get her to put on a cop outfit, pat you down, and then "bust" you for carrying

is that a gun or are you just happy to see me...

well on a table i would set a box of ammo ir cleaning kit, holster or somthing she will see and ask about, her reply will tell you what you need to know without telling her you have 1 on...

 

[KarenTOC]

I'm probably too old and too old-school to contribute an opinion... but I don't usually let that stop me

IMHO, getting intimate with someone you don't know all that well probably isn't a really good idea. It may be fun; that doesn't make it smart.

If I were young and dating, I wouldn't mind if my steady boyfriend carried all the time. I would be able to trust him because I knew him well enough to make that judgement.

On the other hand, I would totally freak if, on a first date with a recently-met individual, I discovered he had a gun.

The difference? I know the first guy isn't a psycho; I can't be sure of the second guy. (Qualification: If guy #2 had references, say, an old-fashioned introduction by a mutual friend, AND if he informed me in advance of his CCW habit, I'd probably be ok with it.)

I'm not sure this is an exact quote or a paraphrase (I googled what i could remember and found this) but I read this in the book "The Gift of Fear" about one major difference between men and women: "At core, men are afraid women will laugh at them, while at core, women are afraid men will kill them." It was in the chapter where the author cites statistics showing that most violence against women is from the men in their lives: fathers, brothers, boyfriends, husbands, other male relatives.

Most guys don't believe that. I believe it to be true on a subconscious level (I don't believe most women go into a first date wondering if they're going to be killed). But it might explain why a lot of women are uncomfortable with the idea of a guy they don't know well carrying a gun on a date.

Just an old lady's opinion...

 

[BP Hunter]

Your image and how you carry yourself is very important. If you dressed like a punk with pants hanging too low with oversized shirts and wearing heavy golden necklaces, vs. a well kept hair, ironed clothes, maybe khakis or slacks and a buttoned up shirt they you will depict your personality in how you present yourself. I think that's why some detectives business suits. The guns make then look less dangerous.

 

[stchman]

If she does not want to go out with you because of your 2A rights then go find another girl. There are plenty of them out there.

 

[News Shooter]

I don't date anymore, but I first moved to Boston ten years or so ago I decided to bring it up immediately. If figured it was best to find out quickly and save the cost of a meal.

I only had one Harvard type freak out on me, the rest couldn't care less and a couple asked me to take them shooting.

 

[Titan6]

This is way too easy. Talk to her about her father. Women love to talk and talking about their dad is a good way to go. If he owns guns then eventually the topic will turn to this. Then you will find out how she feels.

 

[bottom shelf]

Bring it up one of two ways, before things get intimate:

Direct - What are your thoughts on the second amendment?
-Or, over dinner on a first date, "Hey, I'm going to the gun range next week. Would you like to join me?"

Don't be surprised if you're asked, "What's the second amendment?" Sad, but true. Although most people know the first ten make up the Bill of Rights, I think most people only actually know the first. If that.

 

[NMGonzo]

I cannot date.

My girlfriend would not like it.

I did not have a gun when we met. Now I have 9.

That was a year ago.

She likes shooting the .380 and the .22

The 9 was too big for her hands.

Vegetarian liberal.

Better shot than I am.

Go figure.

 

[ArmedBear]

Women love to talk and talking about their dad is a good way to go.

If you don't know about her dad before starting the conversation, you could be glad to be carrying a gun. This gives you the option of shooting yourself in the head.

Of course, not going on any more dates is a less drastic option.

Seriously, this is good advice:

IMHO, getting intimate with someone you don't know all that well probably isn't a really good idea. It may be fun; that doesn't make it smart.

Of course, copious amounts of alcohol have a way of making it seem smarter. And I don't think that copious amounts of booze should be mixed with loaded firearms.

 

[theken206]

"If you dressed like a punk with pants hanging too low with oversized shirts and wearing heavy golden necklaces"

You had me described at time untill the gold necklaces, this aint late 80's early 90's dude. How about be yourself and carry yourself like a man, maybe youll be treated like it.

 

[jaysouth]

Too many fish is that ocean of your age group to make yourself conform to someone else's phobia and fears.

Come to think of it, didn't Sigmund Freud say that fear of weapons was a sexual phobia and a neurosis?

 

[Pyzon]

I'm lucky that my wife of 28 years came from a family that hunted and lived in the country.

And just last week, after watching Glenn Beck and the O'Reilly factor she asked if I had bought a gun or any ammo lately !

 

[ozarkgunner]

I got my first gun, my very own that is, my father had one, shortly after I got married. My wife knew I was into guns and such. She was ok with them, her father was a Marine. So she grew up around them.
I don't think the subject in necessarily first date conversation, but it depends on what kind of first date it is. It's something I would bring up early. You wouldn't want to "surprise" her accidentaly. Let her know ahead of tiime. You don't want her to find the gun you keep under your pillow. That wouldn't go well.

 

[mcschrader]

If I were you (I'm married and my wife got her CCW first, sad but true) the first time I met the chickie I would be like "Hey, I carry a gun, here it is and here is what it is" if she freaks out, move on, you are better without her.

 

[9MMare]

Wow, some really wild stuff in here.

Do people (the general public) consider the sport of target shooting as radical or scary? So far, not in my experience anyway and I'd think that would be a good way to open up the subject...when discussing hobbies, interests, etc.

It also can open things up to questions like...'arent guns dangerous?,' 'why do you like guns?', etc and give you the opportunity to explain the fun and utility of firearms.

Shooting as my hobby is a normal part of a conversation for me, if it comes up. CC isnt, just because it's supposed to be concealed!

Mostly, I find people alot more open to guns than I thought and many more neutral to indifferent rather than strongly against or for....altho I do see people get concerned with the 'responsibility level' of CC....they have no idea the training and responsibilities that SHOULD go into CC....and a little education by a level-headed 'normal' person goes along way.

As for dating...I wouldnt care if I gave a guy a good nite hug and found him carrying (before I became a gun owner or now)....if he has comported himself in a polite and gentlemanly manner.(And he wouldnt be getting the hug or anything more if he hadnt! lol)

Of course, I dont just date someone off the street either...I'm pretty much past my bar pickup days and even then, I NEVER just casually left with men.

 

[JohnL2]

Just steer clear of the haughty, resentful, and bitter ones and you'll be okay.
All women are wacky. No way around that.

 

[THE DARK KNIGHT]

You had me described at time untill the gold necklaces, this aint late 80's early 90's dude

It's pretty hilarious how detached from reality some people here are. The "250lb crackhead" thing always gets me a good laugh, I take they've never actually seen a crackhead anywhere outside their CCW hero fantasies. I'm yet to see a crackhead past ~160lbs I'd say. If they weigh much more than that, they probably aren't a crackhead.

Another one that gets me rolling out of my chair is "OK, so I'm awaken in the night to see a guy running at me with a butcher knife screaming from about 30 feet away" <---actual THR quote. Gun control is bad because criminals have guns anyway, but any criminal encountered simply has a knife and is 30 feet away.

 

[Darkninja]

Just steer clear of the haughty, resentful, and bitter ones and you'll be okay.
All women are wacky. No way around that.

Careful. You're about to get jumped by the girls in this thread, (and not in a good way.)

Since I can't CC or OC... this isn't a problem. Also my girlfriend probably wouldn't like me going out with other girls... That being said, in a year and a half if I'm single, I will be carrying, and I'll try to at least bring up guns on the first date, as firearms are one of my favorite hobbies.