Code word

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Red Eye Fred

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It started about 8 years ago. I was very concerned about my teen daughter's safety when she was home alone. I took a three ring binder and attached a holster in the binder leaving a 38 revolver in the holster. It so happened that this binder had a big 2 painted on the edge. So I developed the code word "Book 2" she knew what it meant and I made sure that she knew how to use that revolver very well.

Now she is out of the house and I no longer use the binder. But unlike many of you I cannot seem to get my wife concerned about safety. She doesn't mind my carrying when we are out and about but she chides me when I carry around the house and laughes at me when I try to discuss safety procedures in case of an emergency. She snickers when I discuss a code word.

Any ideas on how to get her to be more serious before it is too late?

Fred
 
thats a tough one, you cant force her or she will resent it..just gently remind her how it is to her benefit, and to the whole family if she is safe and does what it takes to stay safe, luckily my wife knows and carry's herself
 
It is kind of funny, but that doesn't mean that it hurts to have one. I don't have a code word with my family, but it may be something we discuss someday.

Agree with her that it is silly, and it will probably never be an issue, but it's just like having a fire extinguisher in the house or changing the batteries in your smoke detector. You don't expect to have a house fire, but it's good to be prepared just in case, and this is a pretty simple and easy preparation for an emergency.

That being said, I can't think of an actual situation where you would need a code word like this, so maybe your wife is right. Maybe it is silly.
 
My daughter and I developed an entire alternate vocabulary to disguise our conversations from several inquisitive creatures, including her mother. Code words are a lot of fun. Ours for a "SHTF" situation (such as her mother running out of brandy) derives from the world of hospitals -- "Code Brown."
 
For my daughter and I it was to warn of potential dangers such as someone approaching that is questionable. My house is two storys and she was usually upstairs. I could call out have you read "Book 2" and she would know that someone was at the door that I did not know. She could then look down into the entry and back me up as I answered the door. I didn't use it much but it did feel good having it.
Fred
 
That being said, I can't think of an actual situation where you would need a code word like this, so maybe your wife is right. Maybe it is silly.
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I can think of situations where code words are good, not just one. Coming into the house where all the adults are armed in the dark...a code word for friendlies. Stranger with unknown intentions at the door-another. Strangers with unknown intentions-yet another to let people in the house know it's more than one-follow it by the number. Alert people with immediate access to a telephone to call 911 as you're being held at gunpoint-another code word. Get out of the house now due to arsonists on the premises-another.

It's similar to having car insurance. Now I don't plan on having accidents but I had a fender bender this week.
 
When our kids were toddlers, adults pretty much said what was on their mind. 'Till the toddlers started repeating what they heard, in public.

Then we started spelling stuff...like 'we won't go to Kroger because cause its next to C-H-U-C-K-Y-C-H-E-E-S-E.'.

Then they learned to spell.

And repeat stuff. Sometimes amusing, sometime embarassing.

Bride and I started using a word for 'gun' that has evolved into a word that has a broader implication.

salty
 
Any ideas on how to get her to be more serious before it is too late?
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No. You seem to have been married long enough to realize you can't make a woman do anything she doesn't want to do ... and for now she doesn't want to take this stuff seriously.

YOU continue to take it seriously and ignore her chiding.

She'll either come around or she won't. That is really out of your control.
 
My wife has also been slow to come around to being armed. She was basically neutral as you've described. I didn't really know how to guide her, so what I did was to openly discuss local violent crimes when they occurred. Let me tell you that when you begin to focus on local violence, there seems to be more of it going on than you previously thought. Every time we saw/heard of something in the news, she would always reiterate that she really needs to get with it and get her CCP. We're getting closer everyday now.

P.S.
I think the binder/book is a good idea.
 
Might be too late for me but maybe not for others in my household. Or my neighbors. Or you. Perhaps you think I should just set things up so they get away with my murder?
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No, you should focus on not being murdered. If the guy has you at gunpoint already, you are past the point of being helped by the cops, and now you need to help yourself or your family needs to help you. It's too late to be calling the cops and there are much more useful things your family can be doing to help you.
 
crebralfix, I heard about that. You know that if he had used his own gun instead of taking one of the robber's this wouldn't have made the news? Even this story shows guns as a criminal thing, not as a defense thing.
 
express with sincerity and firmness the seriousness with which you regard this issue. when she laughs, say, "this is not a joke, I'm asking you to be mature."

deal with the moments of pouting that will result, but they will listen.
this works with anyone.
 
^^ agreed.

ours are driven by commands only. DROP! RUN! etc...

any situation where a set of quiet code words with some implication of necessary action are hollywood in my opinion.

In a time of crisis...code words will be replaced with clear and direct commands. The idea that I would need to quietly whisper " honey...code red 7 whiskey tango foxtrot" instead of " honey i dont like the looks of the situation..lets leave." is kinda silly in my opinion.
 
I don't know how we did it, but we "implanted" the thought of a security/emergency code word in our 3 kids. We were just very, very serious about the importance of when it was used.

They may have taken it less urgently when they were teenagers, but now that the youngest is 29, I know if I got on the phone and said "--- -----, get here!", (or whatever the situation) the next sound I would hear is their cars pulling into the driveway...
 
A couple or three non-verbal sign gestures ain't awful either.

My bride and I didn't exactly dream all of this stuff w/o some occasional real, or perceived, justification.

We've been together for about forty years now, and we've learned a bit about communication.

Now, if I just don't mess up tomorrow.

salty
 
My buddies and I all take our home defense quite seriously. But of course we still just waltz into each others houses like they were our own, which can be a little nerve racking.

It all kind of started as a joke by yelling "Thunder!" when we walked into each others homes. Now its the standard, and it really is quite handy. It offers piece of mind in a special way.

If I were you, I would just start yelling out a code word everyday when you come home. The equivalent of "Honey, I'm home!" She will catch on sooner or later and eventually she might realize what real benefits it has.
 
I have friends who expect people to just invite themselves over and walk into their home, and wonder why I never do. I've never been comfortable doing that. What if I walk into the middle of a BDSM scene (and aren't prepared to play)?
 
Where to use a code word

Tom Gresham addressed this subject on "Gun Talk" once. His example was you are in a restaurant or Mall and you suspect a dangerous situation you use a word like "Expeditiously" get up! This tell the family do not question why we are leaving or ask any questions just do as I say immediately.
 
If I were you, I would just start yelling out a code word everyday when you come home. The equivalent of "Honey, I'm home!" She will catch on sooner or later and eventually she might realize what real benefits it has.
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I agree with this, to get her accustomed to the word when you arrive.

An addition to this might be, after several months, arrive and do not use the word (when you know, for sure she has seen you) just to see her reaction. If she responds with something like: "Honey, you didn't say *--------* when you came in the door" -- then you will know you have gotten somewhere and it's time for the next step.
 
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