Concealed carry for justifiably paranoid wife?

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1KPerDay

1KPerDay

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Hello,
My wife would like to get her CCW permit, but she's paranoid that she'll:

1. Leave her purse/holster lying around where the kids can get it
2. Leave her gun in the glove box where the kids/whoever borrows our car can get it (and locking the glove box sort of defeats the purpose)
3. Leave a CCW holster/gun lying around where the kids can get it because she'll get tired of wearing it and take it off.

I'd like her to have ready access to a gun "in case," but I also acknowledge that she can be absent-minded at times (loses keys, purse, etc.). I'm not one of those guys who obsesses about "what could happen," but I'd feel better if she were armed when traveling alone or with the kids. BUT I don't want the kids to get hurt/killed due to my/our negligence, either. (I practice the 4 rules with my kids, constantly review procedure if they find a gun, etc., but you never really know what they're going to do if you're not there reminding them.)

I've thought about those magnetic ring/locking things for handguns (I don't trust them, though).

I've thought about putting 2 or three shotguns/rifles in closets around the house (with those locking mounts that cover the action and trigger)... at least she'd have reasonably quick access to a firearm at home, then. (I keep all of my guns and ammo locked up in my safe when I'm not home).

I've also considered that this just may not be the right time for her to CCW... she's extremely busy and has all kinds of stuff going on all the time, and IMO if you're going to CCW you need to be absolutely committed to safety.

Thoughts?
 
If you teach your children correctly you won't have to worry about them touching the gun when or if it's left where they can get to it. Pax has a great site with a lot of information on it that will definitely help you. Especially read the "Kids and Guns" sections. I would suggest you review the whole site, it's very informative.
http://www.corneredcat.com/TOC/TOC.htm#HolsterSafety
Good luck...
 
Did she ever misplace the kids? There is a parallel in level of responsibility. Get the CCW permit regardless (aren't more options always better?) and then have her carry a simulated gun around for a while, see what happens and then make a decision.

Sorry I'm not much more help.

Edit: oh and definitely +1 on teaching the kids about firearms.
 
Believe me, I teach my kids about firearms. I take them shooting, let them look at/handle my guns (supervised), stress the 4 rules even with toy guns, etc.


But you guys who are absolutely confident that a 4 to 8-year old will absolutely not touch a gun left around unsupervised... do you have kids?:uhoh:

I guess my kids are the only ones in the world that don't obey all of our rules all of the time.:D
 
Get a gun with multiple safeties, manual and grip, and single action (like a 1911-style). That way you can leave it uncocked (sans round in chamber). Cock it when you get ready to go out. Eject bullet from chamber when you get home.
 
That's my thinking behind my current home-defense weapon, a Mossberg 590 (locked, unchambered). A kid would have a bit of trouble getting the stiff safety off, let alone finding the unlocking lever and chambering it. My wife has enough trouble after I've had her do it 20 times.

Her handgun of choice is a Colt Combat Commander. Love that woman.:cool:
 
If she is going to carry, she has to develop the mindset that she is responsible for the gun *every minute* or she shouldn't carry. She doesn't have the luxury of being "absent minded" where a loaded firearm is concerned.

She can't rely on "trick guns" or the features of any particular gun (safety, hard trigger pull, etc) to keep her children safe. She just has to be aware of where the gun is at all times and not leave it somewhere where anyone else could gain access to it without her permission.

There are some things she can to carry and make it easier for her to maintain control of the firearm.

My first reccomendation is that she NOT carry the gun in her purse and instead carry the gun in a holster on her body instead. While I think purse carry is an OK way for a female to carry to gun, it does demand greater diligence since it is much easier to "loose track" of a purse with a gun in it than it is to "loose track" of a gun in a holster on your waistband. Based on your concerns, it sounds like purse carry would be a bad idea for her. She should also avoid carrying the gun in the glovebox in the car for the same reason.

If she carries the gun in a holster on her body, she'll have greater control over the gun at all times and is much less likely to "set it down" somewhere and leave it unattended for the children to find.

She'll need to find a carry gun and holster combination that works for her. She'll have to consider her day to day activities, the types of clothes she wears, gun size and type, and different types of holsters to find what works best for her. It likely will be different than what works best for you.

She should consider using a shoulder holster. I know several women who really like shoulder holsters. They find them to be comfortable and concealable under a blazer or light jacket. A shoulder holster often works better than a hip holster for women because of how a woman's body is shaped. A woman's curves often push the gun out away from the hip, which makes the gun harder to conceal and affects comfort. Many women are also "short waisted" where their torso is proportionately smaller than a man of the same height. These means that guns in hip holsters tend to ride higher than they would on a man. Sometimes the gun grip is almost up under the armpit.

I'm not saying that a shoulder holster is *the* answer. I'm just saying that it is one possibility that shouldn't be overlooked. Plenty of women also carry in hip holsters with little or no problems.

If she's concerned about taking the gun and holster off when she gets home and accidently leaving them where the kids can find them she needs to set up a system where she won't do that. I reccomend that she have a small pistol safe for just her gun. It needs to be something she can open easily and it needs to be conviently located for when she gets home and wants to change and take off the gun. She needs to get in the habit of *immediately* locking up the gun in the safe as soon as she decides to take it off.

She doesn't even need to unload the gun every time. Just unholster it, lock it up, and put the holster away. When she wants to carry it next, just put the holster on, take the gun out of the safe, make sure it's loaded, and put it in the holster.

In short:

She needs to realize that she is responsible for the gun 100% of the time

On body carry in a holster will minimize her chances of leaving the gun out unattended or in the govebox.

If she stores the gun in a dedicated small pistol safe, set aside for her gun specifically, she's much less likely to leave it out unattended. She'll still need to develop the discipline to put it in the safe right away whenever she wants to take it off.
 
IMHO a ccw is a constrictig , not a liberating condition . that being said if she is responsible enough to raise children she is also responsible enough to ccw . It takes a similar level of attention in life with the differance being once you put the pistol up it wont move , ie it wont go color on the walls ect.. but you need to be as aware of your weapon as you are your children . Oh and btw , if she locks the kids in the gunsafe expect the gvt to get real intrested in yall's lifestyle lol .
 
I can relate....

this is very similar to my wifes situation....

She recognizes the need for personal defense.

She's asked me to teach her to shoot and enjoyed our first range trip two weeks ago.

But "mommy" is such a hectic....almost frantic job....she's afraid of spacing it and losing control of her personal protection weapon.

I second the idea that carrying on her person is best. But I doubt she'll go for it. Maybe some kind of small fanny pack that stays on all day?

For now she has a small Fox Labs pepper spray clipped inside her purse.
 
If she is going to carry, she has to develop the mindset that she is responsible for the gun *every minute* or she shouldn't carry. She doesn't have the luxury of being "absent minded" where a loaded firearm is concerned.
Click to expand...
Trebor, That says it all. Robert
 
When it comes to holsters many women prefer appendix carry. I know my wife finds it much eaiser to conceal here than anywhere else. If the carry position is comfortable then the gun is less likely to be taken off.
 
Trebor, thanks for your thoughts. Pretty much exactly my position, other than I hadn't considered a shoulder holster. CCW just may not be right for her right now.

I'd sure hate to find out she needed a gun and didn't have one, though. But if I think too long about that I start getting scared, and a person can't live like that.:banghead:
 
Have her, and you, check out PAX' website www.corneredcat.com . Pax has more good info on her site than most others and it's a site written by a very savvy woman for women primarily but also for men. She addresses many of the issues that your wife would have.
 
Good post, Trebor.

One of the reasons I decided to carry on-body, even at home, was because I could not figure out a way to safely store a home defense weapon if it wasn't on my body. We have five children (all boys) and at the time I made this decision, half of them were still preschoolers, so safe storage was absolutely vital for us.

I'm curvy, and I carry a Glock 26 IWB in the appendix position all day, every day. It did require some lifestyle adjustments and some wardrobe changes, but not as many or as severe of changes as one might expect.

1KPerDay, do have your wife stop by my site. It was written just for people like her, to answer all the questions that nobody was able to answer for me when I first started getting involved in handguns.

pax
 
I agree that she should check out Pax's site. There's lot's of great info there. I reccomend her site to all my students, female and male.

One thing I think I should say explicitly. Whether or not she chooses to carry has to be *her* decision. Us guys tend to want to "help" our wives/partners make decisions on things related to firearms and self defense and that's something we have to watch out for. She has to decide for herself what's best for her and shouldn't make a decision like this just to make someone else happy.

If she hasn't already taken the class she needs to apply for a CCW, that would be a good idea. She'll learn more and that should help her with her decision. Remember, even if she gets a carry permit, there is no requirement that she actually carry a gun. But, if she ever wants to carry a gun in the future, already haven taken the training and getting the permit would be a good thing.

I also can't believe I forgot about appendix carry! Funny thing is that's how I carry as I also find it to be the most comfortable carry location for me, and I'm a guy. I carry on my strong side hip, but just in front of the hip instead of just behind the hip. I find that holsters with very little or zero cant work the best. I also find the clip-on IWB holsters work well in this position.
 
perhaps test the kids put your pistol on the kitchen counter un loaded of course see if they go for it after telling them not to play or touch it
 
My wife is a little paranoid about the same things.

My plan for her, starting in the next day or so.

Carry EMPTY gun around house for a few days......get used to it.

Carry EMPTY gun out on the town for a few trips.....get used to it.

Load gun and carry with confidence because you havent lost it.
 
What's the appendix position?
Click to expand...

Appendix carry is equal to 1 or 2 o'clock for a righty and 11 or 10 o'clock for a lefty with the butt of the gun facing the strong side. The gun fits in the hollow formed by the pubic bone and the hip/pelvic joint. Not only does this natural hollow swallow up guns well, but as an added bonus the gun is so near the centerline that it becomes much more accessible to the offhand than a strong side hip holster.
 
LOL, I suggested Pax's site the second post of this thread. I'm glad the rest of you caught up because that site has a TON of very good information.

PAX,
Thank you for taking the time to create such a useful site!
 
I do not want to sound too harsh here, but you have sort of described a person who is a bit frazzeled and forgetfull. If she is constantly misplacing her purse and car keys better to let the ccw go, IMHO.
 
Kramer makes an undershirt holster that works, in the sense that it conceals well. It's a very slow draw and a little awkward, and you can only wear shirts that button up in front.

I think it might work in this situation since there's no way to misplace the gun. It conceals much better than a regular shoulder holster, which many find uncomfortable.

When I say "slow draw" I mean that if faced with an armed person right now, and you need the gun in your hand right now, you're probably out of luck. But if you see the situation developing, there would be time to draw. So it's not perfect, but it is an option.
 
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