Critique my letter to my senator

[Bigjake]

Senator __________________

As of late, it seems Washington doesn’t seem to pay any attention to those little people outside of the beltway (read; constituents). This is unacceptable, and now is the time to prove you care about something other than getting re-elected.

Immigration reform is an issue that is not going away, and this problem is not going to fix itself with rhetoric. We want ACTION. Not pandering to the Latino base, or labeling illegals with some pithy new Politically correct tag, and damned certainly NOT amnesty.

It's time to build a wall. The whole idea of homeland security is a pathetic joke if people can waltz right across our borders at will. Secure those first and then we have a real chance of keeping the bad guys out. Contract it out, the amount of new jobs it will create will be huge, and the wall project would trickle down to all industries associated with it (materials, equipment, you name it). Then hire more border patrol agents. Our southern border takes priority, since we are not currently seeing an onslaught of Canadians jumping the border in droves. The line between the USA and Mexico should more resemble the DMZ in Korea than the back 40 of my farm. I’ve enclosed a brick to get you started. I want to see your name as author or at the very least, sponsor of this bill.

The next bill should establish ENGLISH as our official language. This is a no brainer.

Lastly, there are approximately 12 million illegals here. It's Time to start deporting them. Every last one. Go after their employers if you must, just make this happen.

.
You want my vote this November? (And many others like me), you had better get moving. No more of this “gang of 14” moderate crap. Do something productive or start typing your resume. Maintain the status quo on this, and I will do everything in my power to see you out of Washington this fall, even if that means tipping the balance to the left. You were handed the reins of power for the past 6 years and have done nothing, now its time to play catch up.

Respectfully,

 

[Bigjake]

Copy and paste seems to have killed some of my punctuation.....

have at it y'all, any insight or criticism would be most appriciated.

thats the letter i plan to enclose when i send him a friggin cinder block.

 

[Silver Bullet]

I like it, except I'd patrol the border with military brought home from Europe. The Europeans don't seem to appreciate us; why are we spending all that money over there ? Let's spend it inside the U.S.

 

[Bigjake]

If i'm not mistake, isn't it unconstitutional to use the military on our soil. (not being a smartass, i really don't know)

I agree with ya though, no sense in keeping our boys in europe to save them from the islamic hordes when the time comes.

 

[Standing Wolf]

I like it, except I'd patrol the border with military brought home from Europe. The Europeans don't seem to appreciate us; why are we spending all that money over there ? Let's spend it inside the U.S.

Excellent point.

If i'm not mistake, isn't it unconstitutional to use the military on our soil.

Legally, it may well be a sticky issue; realistically speaking, however, our nation has been and is being invaded. If we can't use our military forces to defend America, why do we have them?

 

[MatthewVanitas]

a) What are the odds of anyone at your senator's office bothering to read a note attached to a brick? Just about zero. You might as well enclose an excerpt from A Tale of Two Cities if you're going to put it on a brick.

b) Even if the letter weren't attached to a brick: some intern at the senator's office might glance at it, notice the capitalized letters and sarcasm, say "oh, it's from some nutjob" and throw it in the trash.

If you actually want someone to read your letter, you have to tailor your message to your audience. It might feel good to "speak your mind", but if your words don't get the desired reaction, you're just wasting your time.

Try looking at it from your senator's perspective. He's only going to take time out of his busy schedule to read your letter if:

a) It's extremely short
b) It's from somebody important, or is from someone who the senator feels is representative of a large number of voters (i.e. not a "radical").

If I want my representative to maybe, just maybe, read something from me, I make it extremely short and as moderate as possible while still stating my opinion.


Just my take. -MV

 

[mbs357]

I can understand it being unconstitutional to use the military as police or in other such jobs, but defending the borders from invasion sounds right up their alley.

 

[tegemu]

I think the primary purpose of stationing troops overseas now is more prepositioning than defending foreign territory. As for deporting all the illegals, it sounds good but consider the practicality of it. Cost, manning the deport process and logistics would be monumental - much more than we should or could pay. Then there is the question of the children of illegals that were born in the USA, they are American citizens, how do we propose deporting American citizens. There has to be a better way and with determined effort, we can find the better way.

 

[fourays2]

Pretty good letter, it certainly expresses the frustration that 80% of the American population feels. However I would change the end of this first sentence

As of late, it seems Washington doesn’t seem to pay any attention to those little people outside of the beltway (read; constituents). This is unacceptable, and now is the time to prove you care about something other than getting re-elected.

from "getting re-elected" to "sycophantically pandering to special interest groups looking to force down the wages of ordinary Americans by hiring criminal border jumpers and then making ordinary American pay for their health care/welfare/childrens education".

just my $.02

 

[flashman70]

It's a nice letter. It should make you feel good to be on what I consider to be the right side of many important issues. But most mail gets read by young aides that are looking for the payoff in constituent mail. What does this constituent want? It's essential to say you are a constituent, you have supported Senator Leghorn, and hope to do so in the future. But you want him to vote for what? Is there a specific bill? If so, that's what I'd say. "I support S.____ (or HR____) and urge you to do so."

 

[wmenorr67]

In my opinion any state Governor along the border has the right to deploy his/her's states National Guard troops. If I was the Governor of California, Arizona, New Mexico or Texas I would do it in a second. If anyone wanted to give me grief over it all I would say is that I am doing my job by protecting the residents of my states with the resources I have. If the Federal Government does not want to deal with the issue then it is a State's right to do so.

 

[pcf]

Dear Bigjake:

Politicians and their staffers have short attention spans, be concise. A letter should cover a single issue, and you should make your point in four to eight sentences.

There's no need for swearing, name calling or insults, it's impolite and unprofessional.

You're name isn't George Soros, don't make threats, you have no credible way of backing them up. Tell your Senator the exact action you want him to take, and for taking an unpopular risk, he will receive your continuing support. If you insist on "seeing him out office," let the Senator know who his replacement will be.

Be short, concise, and polite, and there's a good chance that your Senator will read your letter.

Sincerely


PCF