Critique my news paper letter to the editor please

[mcooper]

Hey guys, I'm thinking of submitting this to the campus and state newspaper (Clarion Ledger for the latter). I'm having some friends proof it tonight but your thoughts would be appreciated. I need to keep it under 200 words for the State paper and 300 for the Campus one.



Students for Concealed Carry on Campus
How does barring Licensed Firearm Permit Holders Make College Campuses any Safer?

A common thread in education is “weapon free” areas. The idea is that by banning deadly weapons, you make the area safer. Think about it, if you just make it illegal to have a gun on campus you’ll have less crime. Now think about it a bit harder, did Seung-Hui Cho, Luke Woodam, or the Columbine Killers care whether or not they were breaking the law regarding “gun free zones”; how about countless rapists and violent felons that committed crimes on campuses? Yet at the same time we prohibit individuals licensed to carry a concealed firearm, form doing so on college campuses in MS, even though they have passed rigorous background checks.

The problem with the “gun free zone” is not just that criminals ignore them and commit crimes in spite of the law; they are by definition, law breakers. But they have an area of “easy targets” since it is safe to assume that law abiding citizens are unarmed. At the same time those people licensed to carry are unable to do so. Let’s even the playing field, urge the state legislature to pass concealed carry reform and check out http://msguns.blogspot.com/ and www.concealedcampus.org for more information.

 

[cpttango30]

Looks good. Short sweet to the point Sounds like you have good facts. A+

 

[boredelmo]

Yet at the same time we prohibit individuals licensed to carry a concealed firearm, form doing so on college campuses in MS, even though they have passed rigorous background checks.


From : )

 

[M_Olson]

just a couple things:

The problem with the “gun free zone” is not just that criminals ignore them and commit crimes in spite of the law; they are, by definition, law breakers.

im definitely not a grammar expert, but i think there needs to be a comma there (possibly one of the actual grammar experts could confirm).

At the same time those people licensed to carry are unable to do so. Let’s even the playing field, urge the state legislature to pass concealed carry reform and check out http://msguns.blogspot.com/ and www.concealedcampus.org for more information.

for this, i would recommend rewording it to:

At the same time, those people licensed to carry are unable to do so. Let’s even the playing field and urge the state legislature to pass concealed carry reform. Check out http://msguns.blogspot.com and www.concealedcampus.org for more information.

 

[mcooper]

Thanks guys keep 'em coming.

Here it is with a few changes:

Students for Concealed Carry on Campus
How does barring Licensed Firearm Permit Holders Make College Campuses any Safer?

A common thread in education is “weapon free” areas. The idea is that by banning deadly weapons, you make the area safer. Think about it, if you just make it illegal to have a gun on campus you’ll have less crime. Consider this: did Seung-Hui Cho, Luke Woodam, or the Columbine Killers care whether or not they were breaking the law regarding “gun free zones”; how about countless rapists and violent felons that committed crimes on campuses? Yet at the same time we prohibit individuals licensed to carry a concealed firearm, from doing so on college campuses in MS, even though they have passed rigorous background checks.

The problem with the “gun free zone” is not just that criminals ignore them and commit crimes in spite of the law; they are by definition, law breakers. But they have an area of “easy targets” since it is safe to assume that law abiding citizens are unarmed. At the same time, those people licensed to carry are unable to do so. Let’s even the playing field and urge the state legislature to pass concealed carry reform. Check out http://msguns.blogspot.com and www.concealedcampus.org for more information.

 

[RNB65]

I don't know what state you're in, but you might add a few of the key requirements for obtaining a CCW license in your state (check your state laws). Here in VA, that would include: over 21, mandatory firearms training, and a mandatory state police background check.

 

[Blackbeard]

Couple of punctuation and style changes:

A common thread in education is “weapon free” areas. The idea is that by banning deadly weapons, you make the area safer. Think about it -- if you just make it illegal to have a gun on campus you’ll have less crime. Now think about it a bit harder, did Seung-Hui Cho, Luke Woodam, or the Columbine Killers care whether or not they were breaking the law regarding “gun free zones”? How about countless rapists and violent felons that committed crimes on campuses? Yet at the same time we prohibit individuals licensed to carry a concealed firearm, from doing so on college campuses in Mississippi, even though they have passed rigorous background checks.

The problem with the “gun free zone” is not just that criminals ignore them and commit crimes in spite of the law. They are by definition law breakers. The problem is that they have an area of easy targets since it is safe to assume that law abiding citizens are unarmed. At the same time those people licensed to carry are unable to do so. Let’s even the playing field and urge the state legislature to pass concealed carry reform. Check out http://msguns.blogspot.com/ and www.concealedcampus.org for more information.

 

[mcooper]

How Licensed Firearm Permit Holders Can Make College Campuses Safer

A common thread in education is “weapon free” areas. The idea is that by banning deadly weapons, you would make the area safer. However, did Seung-Hui Cho, Luke Woodam, or the Columbine killers care whether or not they were breaking laws regarding “gun free zones”; how about countless rapists and violent felons that committed crimes on campuses knowing that their prey wouldn't be armed? At the same time people who have a license to carry a concealed firearm, doing so would be a felony at college campuses across the state.

The problem with any “gun free zone” is not just that criminals ignore them and commit crimes in spite of the law; they are made safer by the very law that renders responsible citizens vulnerable. Consequently, they have areas of “easy targets” since it is safe to assume that law abiding citizens will be unarmed. Let us even the playing field, urge the state legislature to pass concealed carry reform and allow those with firearms permits the option of carrying on campuses, legally. Those without the desire or ability to have permits will be made safer because the fact that those intent on doing evil will not know if their prey is armed or not.

For more information and updates, check http://msguns.blogspot.com/.


That's what I sent to the Clarion ledger (darn 200word cap)
I'm going to elaborate a bit for the Campus paper (I get 300 words)