I'd worry more about the longevity of the .40 S&W caliber BHP ... because of the .40 S&W cartridge ... than I'd worry about the amount of +P ammunition in the 9mm pistol.
There's +P, and then there's +P ammunition ... I've mixed Remington and Winchester +P ammunition in with standard pressure ammunition for some of our shooters, and many of them didn't even notice a difference. The +P+ ammunition has enough increased "snap" for most people to notice, but not as much as you'd think. As long as you stay with QUALITY ammunition, especially from the major manufacturers, you'll probably enjoy many years of reliable service from your 9mm BHP.
Once, during a S&W armorer's class, we asked about service life with the standard aluminum framed 9mm pistols when +P and +P+ ammunition was used. We were told the service life would probably be less if a steady diet of the higher pressure ammunition was used, but that we should look for indications of accelerated wear. Two examples were the recoil spring becoming weakened sooner with the higher pressure loads, and the slide stop starting to exhibit a slight "outward" bend. Recoil impulse and forces travel more than just rearward, you know ... Basically, the lateral recoil harmonics might eventually cause the 90 degree angle of the slide stop to "open up" to beyond 90 degrees, and this might be a potentional problem if the slide stop tolerance changed enough that it no longer properly engaged the side plate plate in the S&W pistols. This required a lot of shooting ... if it occurred at all. It was just something to watch during inspections ...
Don't know if this will apply to your BHP, but I thought I'd mention it ...
I'm not sure most folks could easily afford enough +P ammunition to cause this sort of a worry, though ...
Wolff Company can be reached at 1 800 545-0077, or online at:
http://www.gunsprings.com/1ndex.html
They offer both conventional and variable rated recoil springs for your pistols. The 9mm recoil spring has a listed factory rateing of 17lbs, and the .40 S&W of 20lbs ... and Extra Power ratings of 18.5, 20 & 22lbs, although you'll have to call to ask about what's available currently, as these things can change ...
They're good folks, and they can help you assess what you might want to try out. Be aware that if you increase the recoil spring strength too much, you might also consider using increased power magazine springs, so feeding isn't adversely affected. The folks at Wolff's can advise you much better in these matters. We call them whenever we have questions, and they've always been very helpful ... Nice folks.
Oh yeah, regarding buffers ... Test fire your pistols for reliable function if you install one of the polymer "spacer" buffers. Depending on the pistol design, these can shorten the slide travel, and this may, or may not, affect extraction & ejection of empties ... Not to mention that some buffer materials can brfeak down and create loose debris within the recoil spring area, which can also affect functioning. Some work well ... and some folks like them ... I quit using them in some defensive pistols after observing these exact issues in a Colt Combat Commander ... BUT, the exception to this? ... The King's barrel bushing & guiderod assemblies I've seen installed in a couple of our Officers Models required the use of buffers, and they've always functioned fine without these problems ...
Sometimes I suspect that our pistols have the same variance of personalities that we do ...
Let us know what you eventually decide ...
Oops! The "stopping power" question ... notice I didn't use capital letters ...
I carry either a 9mm or a .40 S&W caliber pistol on duty, depending ... as I'm issued both. The .40 is "full size", for uniform use, and the 9mm is a "compact", for planclothes use. Since I'm presently assigned to plainclothes work, I often switch back and forth.
The ballistic effectiveness of the RA40TA 165gr .40 and the RA9TA 127gr +P+ 9mm just doesn't seem all that much different, all things considered, using our last ballistic gelatin testing lab results. I have confidence in both ... I do, however, find it "easier" to shoot the 9mm slightly faster in many circumstances. Slightly better recovery and controllability, but that's a subjective issue to be determined by each of us ...