Do I owe my wife an apology?

Status
Not open for further replies.
Nope. I just screwed up. I COULD try to dig myself out of a hole by saying I was talking about the chamber over the hammer. :D

But no, I was just reading threads too fast...I'll try to slow down...:banghead:
 
The way I see it, it's not a marital issue. Nor is it an issue of someone being comfortable around guns. It is a SAFETY issue.

Even if the gun was unloaded, locked, whatever, anyone who might legitimately have access to that bag ought to know it was there. If you don't want them knowing, put it somewhere else.

You put her in a situation where she could have been rummaging around in a bag with a firearm that she did not know was there. During the course of normal actions, she could very well have had the muzzle pointing at her the whole time, and moving many objects which could have entered the trigger guard.

Reminds me of a situation where I was helping a friend look for something under his truck seat. Knocking all sorts of stuff around with my hand while my head is at floor level peering under there...couple quarters, fast food wrapper and, oh, hey, a .45 which is now pointed at my head! Different situation, but the same principal: even people who are comfortable and safe around guns might inadvertantly do something dangerous if they don't know the gun is there.
 
During the course of normal actions, she could very well have had the muzzle pointing at her the whole time, and moving many objects which could have entered the trigger guard.
Click to expand...
Didn't the OP say he applied the lock before he put the revolver in the bag?
 
I think the everyone saying you wife should grow up and stop acting like a 13 year old got a different picture of "freaking out" than I did.

krmgator might need to clarify this for us.

Did she freak out just because she touched a gun and is terrified of them? Or did she freak out because she wasn't expecting to find one and obeyed rule #1 and assumed it was loaded and that means she thinks she almost could have killed one of the kids?

If she is afraid of guns you need to respect that and not leave them laying around where she will accidentaly find them. In this case you owe her an apology even if you think she shouldn't be afraid of guns.

If she tought she almost killed one of the kids (even for just a second) because you left a gun loose in the bottom of a bag (when she didn't know the condition of the gun), that is your fault and you should apologize to her for that. I would freak out too for this reason and I don't think an apology would be in order for freaking out.

Before you guys start telling me I'm a man without a spine because I think he should apologize, just know that my wife apologizes to me just like I apologize to her. You just need to sit down and have a real conversation about it. It will be very clear if you need to apologize, most times after talking my wife and I both have something to apologize for.
 
During the course of normal actions, she could very well have had the muzzle pointing at her the whole time, and moving many objects which could have entered the trigger guard.
Click to expand...

Didn't the OP say he applied the lock before he put the revolver in the bag?
Click to expand...

Yes, let's handle the gun in an unsafe manner just because a safety is on!:scrutiny:

If you think a gun loose in the bottom af a bag is the best way to transport it then we have a serious difference of opinion.

Safties are nice but do you really want the gun pointed at your wife and kids even if a safety is on? I know it is a lock... not a safety, right? Not for me, if it is mechanical it can fail. On this board I hear about the only safety being in your head quite frequently, and I agree with that. Having the lock engaged is no excuse for unsafe gun handling. If you think otherwise I'm glad I don't go the same range as you.
 
Jim Watson is a wise man!

"If a husband is walking alone in the forest and a tree falls on him and kills him; is he still wrong?"
 
Didn't the OP say he applied the lock before he put the revolver in the bag?
Click to expand...

Yes, but given the numerous people that don't trust internal locks one way or the other, it's surprising how many are pointing out the fact that he had it "locked" now. The lock is a mechanical device, and it can fail. Furthermore, the gun should never be stored LOADED and LOCKED. If it's locked, it needs to be unloaded. There is no good reason to lock a loaded gun, and several ways you could get yourself hurt by doing so.

Supposing the internal lock had failed or not been properly engaged, there are also many scenarios that could have resulted in someone getting killed. The OP's wife could have discharged a round while digging through the bag, or could have asked a child to retrieve something from the bag.

Gun safety is everyone's responsibility. It does not cease to become an issue when a gun is "locked," especially if it is loaded! Loaded guns should only be stored in a holster which blocks the trigger guard, and away from unauthorized access.

Is this approach excessive? Maybe to some. The gun probably wouldn't have gone off even if unlocked. There's a chance that it might not hit anyone even if it did. I could go park my car on a hill and sleep in front of it tonight, and probably be fine tomorrow. But when you're dealing with a tool designed to be as lethal as possible, there is no room for error. Why take the chance when you could have:

-unloaded the gun
-locked it
-informed your wife it was there or stored it somewhere else

all in about 15 seconds, and eliminated all possibility of an accident?
 
I don't think you do. If you're going to own one at all, she needs to be somewhat educated in its use, purpose and safety (no matter how much she hates it). If you have to tell her anything, tell her this: It's only dangerous until you know how to use and respect it. My wife (bless her heart) was terrified of guns when I first got one, but we went to the range yesterday and was having a grand time blasting 12Ga slugs :eek:
 
You only need to apologize if you actually did something wrong.

Why is your wife afraid of or unfamiliar with guns? This is the real question. In my opinion someone in this frame of mind (fear) has boundaries when it comes to firearms. Did you know about these boundaries and knowingly violate them?

What are you doing to educate and inform her on the subject of guns? Does she know why you carry? Does she know your principles when it comes to self defense?

I have had friends that decide guns are a needed tool, and do not introduce them into the home properly.

As a man I would state my beliefs, state my intentions, compromise where reasonable, and carry out my plan. Once you establish a history of this almost anything is possible. Women like to be lead and they like a strong leader. It is the natural order of the world.
 
Also if you are constantly apologizing for nothing you are being dominated. I don't care what your gender is.

If you are constantly apologizing for actual infractions then you are filled with self pity and devoid of self control.

Apologize only when proper otherwise you are whittling away at strength. Have less to actually apologize for and you are like steel that self tempers.

By the away I'm a loud mouth jerk with a self righteous streak and a knack for pissing people off:)
 
Women like to be lead and they like a strong leader.
Click to expand...

They also like billionaires and those nice men on TV who tell them for whom they should vote. But they don't consider you to be in any of those categories, so get real and apologize constantly for your existence.

...then later, sneak a few movies into the Netflix queue that involve a woman defending her family with her shooting ability. TV is the ultimate authority.
 
You are the man. Therefore you are wrong. You didn't even need to tell us what it was about.
 
Ok I see a lot of nonsense going on here, and to take "whipped" out of the equation I'm going to tell a hypothetical story involving almost identical circumstances but using myself and my brother as examples.

My brother and I are traveling together. To save expenses we have a single room with 2 beds, and are sharing some baggage as well. We return to the room after having been out. I decide to take a shower so I stick my big mitt in the bag to rummage around for a pair of clean briefs to take in the bathroom. I feel something hard and heavy down in the bottom of the bag. ***, did he pack his Wahl trimmer or some damn thing? As I sift through the deodorant, razor and assorted pairs of socks, I grab on to the whatever-it-is and yank it up out of the bag. As my hand comes clear of the bag I realize just what it is that I've got ahold of, and one of my fingers is inside the trigger guard! A quick peek and yup it's loaded! Seconds earlier I realize the barrel was pointed directly at my vital organs! I turn to my brother and yell, "Dude! ***! Is this yours?" "yeah" he says non-chalantly, "It's ok, it's locked" "Bro", I reply, still coming down from the adrenaline rush "Not cool. How was I supposed to know you had the lock-thingie engaged? For a second I thought I could have snagged the trigger and accidentally shot myself. You could do a guy a favor and let him know when you're gonna stash a loaded piece in a bit of luggage he might go rummaging around in." "Uh, yeah, sorry" he replies, "guess I coulda mentioned it. Didn't think it would be a big deal but I see how it coulda scared the bejezus out of you for a second". "S'allrigh, bro, just try not to give me a heart attack next time you stash a piece, a little head's-up goes a long way".

So, does anyone have a problem with the above? If not, then make my part played by the wife in the OP's story, and you can see why she might be upset for a second, and why a brief "hey, sorry I didn't give you the head's up, I'll be sure to do that next time" is all that's required. This is definitely a "hey, sorry, my bad" and not a roses and groveling occasion.

Whipped? Since when is it "whipped" to exercise a little common courtesy and acknowledge a brain-fart?

ETA: My wife is always informed about where my guns are, and their condition (loaded, etc) in case she needs to use them in the heat of the moment and also for general safety reasons. Whenever one of us needs to carry a gun through the house, let's say for cleaning, we always open the action or swing open the cylinder and hold the gun in a manner that makes it readily apparent that it is being transported, not used. This is just common courtesy so that one of us doesn't round a corner carrying a basket of laundry or some such, and see the other wielding a (loaded?) firearm unexpectedly. Is it necessary? No. Is it considerate? We think so. It's a little easier on the nerves.
 
Last edited:
ETA: My wife is always informed about where my guns are, and their condition (loaded, etc) in case she needs to use them in the heat of the moment and also for general safety reasons. Whenever one of us needs to carry a gun through the house, let's say for cleaning, we always open the action or swing open the cylinder and hold the gun in a manner that makes it readily apparent that it is being transported, not used. This is just common courtesy so that one of us doesn't round a corner carrying a basket of laundry or some such, and see the other wielding a (loaded?) firearm unexpectedly. Is it necessary? No. Is it considerate? We think so. It's a little easier on the nerves.
Click to expand...

common sense--amazing when both have it how easy it makes life.
2 thumbs up--one for each of ua.

spouses or SO's are encouraged to audit my CCW classes cause if there is going to be a gun in the house they should be knowledgeable about safety and how to ckeck if a gun is and how to make it so. if a gun finds its way to an odd place [ like this example] , the knowledgeable finder is a lot less likely to have a freak-out moment.

an apology, for sure and a basic safety course
 
wow,
My wife is scared of guns, despite a few attempts to educate her. Apologize because she is scared? no. Tell her that this a likely thing to happen, but you will make an attempt to notify her from here on out? a definite yes. I used to work security at night till recently, I wasn't around most nights when the bg's come out. I always kept/keep a loaded gun in the house For my wife's protection while I am not there. I made her fire a couple cylinders full despite multiple complaints and fighting me every step of the way and being scared of it. She knows where it is, I always tell her if I move it. She at least doesn't freak when she sees it now but still dreads firing it. She calls my .357 mag "the big gun":rolleyes:(that's the one I leave loaded) You should never apologize for attempting to keep your family safe. Mine doesn't get an apology unless I really do something wrong. Putting a gun in a bag is not something wrong. But it is a good idea to let her know so she can use it if she needs to. It is the courteous thing to do.

For the record I had my wife read this and she agrees with me and says no apology needed. She even says you didn't need to tell her. And that's coming from a woman scared of guns.
 
This thread is still alive so I'll chime in again.:banghead::cuss::fire:

The only time you need to apologize to her is, if she never knew that you carried guns. If so, finding the piece where and when she did would indeed startle her. In this incident, the gun was locked, no big deal.

You cannot tell her and explain everything you need to do, or you'll never find to the time to do anything.

Thanks for the responses. Before going to bed last night, I leaned over and whispered where my gun was.
Click to expand...

My wife knows exactly where that gun is:D


In the safe, locked up as required by Canadian law. What were you thinking?
 
The way I see it your doing your job as hunter-gatherer. Keep up the good work
Click to expand...
First mistake. A hunter/gatherer does not exist by definition. The male is (generally) the hunter, the female is (generally) the gatherer. They are two distinct societal parts.

If it's locked, it needs to be unloaded. There is no good reason to lock a loaded gun, and several ways you could get yourself hurt by doing so.
Click to expand...
Idiocy. Unload it if you like, put a cable thru it if you like; either way it is useless as a defensive weapon.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Q
  • Locked
Love my new Wife
2
Replies
26
Views
2K
QUICK_DRAW_McGRAW
Q
B
  • Locked
Somebody shot my bag!!!!!!!!!1
Replies
17
Views
2K
rdbrowning
R
CajunBass
  • Locked
It's My Wife's Fault...
Replies
19
Views
924
shoebox1.1
shoebox1.1
CajunBass
  • Locked
My wife went to the range today.
Replies
20
Views
796
GlowinPontiac
G
J
  • Locked
At least mama's happy Charter Pink Lady
Replies
5
Views
601
Mike J
M
Back
Top