Do you tell your spouse?

Status
Not open for further replies.
My wife is retired from teaching but I'm still working, and they wonder why we die first- On the good side, when I buy a new gun I just tell her that a package will be arriving soon and to watch for it- Sometimes she want's to know what it is, sometimes not- Latest buy is a 1864 Snider, and she wondered why I would want a gun that old- I didn't bother to explain- Of course it works the same way when I notice a new pair of shoes in her closet- To each his or her own- Works for us
 
She WILL find out.

Haven't always been, er, prompt in filling her in (usually because there was too much on her plate at the time), but she does find out. Sooner told the better. Best way to defuse the "that's a lot of money" problem is selling, or threatening to sell, other guns & gear. Having done so, she sees I'm serious about wanting the new item, even at the cost of sacrificing owned items I'd rather not part with - and she relents and supports the decision, even to the point of objecting to me selling stuff to cover it.

Negotiating for items can work out nicely & oddly. According to her I can buy a .50BMG - so long as I take her to Austria to pick it up from the factory in person.

The biggest factor is being financially solvent. So long as money isn't tight - and she gets the big-ticket stuff she wants - buying worthwhile stuff isn't a problem. When it competes with basic bills, women understandably get perturbed.
 
my wife knows every gun I have and when I buy a new one she checks it out first.
It's been working that way for 37 years.
Funny part is she's a liberal from the Bronx.

AFS
 
Initially, I kept it from my wife. I told her that I was going to buy firearms and she was very upset about it. We ended up establishing a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy. To paint the picture of how serious it was; when cleaning my firearms (fully unloaded, hammer down, magazine out, slide open), she'd go to another part of the house (even if I was just in the next room over) or she'd go run an errand. Serious.

It took some time but she's cool with it. She's been to the gunstore with me and was very fascinated by the range. Even got a little initiation by the staff after she called a gun 'cute'. She knows how to operate a couple of my pistols and we're working on getting her to the range and into a class. Nowadays, the only ones she doesn't know about are the spontaneous purchases. :evil:

But hey, you have to do what works for your particular relationship. My wife and I talk about everything so it was only natural to try to engage her and talk about her fear of guns. I don't envision we'll be planning range weekends together any time soon, but it is at least a comfortable situation.

I will tell ya though, when you have to be sneaky, it's hard with firearms. I'm a computer guy and new devices and components just blend in with one another..."Oh honey, I had that for months. Was actually thinking about e-baying it". Firearms....she counts each and every one. I wouldn't be surprised if she keeps her own list of the serial numbers. :eek:

Now, if I can only think of a way to officially add the P2000 SK to the family...
 
Mine knows about every one of my purchases. She even picks out new ones for me to buy. :D
 
I picked up a LNIB S&W 60LS.

Brought it home. My wife saw it and said: "Oh that's cute. Let's go to the range."

Now I guess it is hers...
 
My wife knows about all my guns. Keeping secrets is not conducive to a healthy marriage, in my opinion. Then again, I have very few (guns, not wives) and don't plan on buying any more in the near future.

In fact, my wife was the one who suggested the first gun purchase of my "adult" life. We had an unsettling experience camping once, and two weeks later we saw on the news that a man had kidnapped and raped two teenage girls in the area where we had been camping. (He was killed in a shootout with police. The girls survived.) I remember turning to my wife and saying, "Ever since we got back from our trip, I've been thinking of buying a gun." Then she said, "Honey, that's a great idea. I'll go with you to the store!"
 
I don't complain about my husband's electronics purchases, and he doesn't care about my firearm purchases.

He rolls his eyes occasionally, but then I point to his new laptop or the projector, and we reach an understanding quickly.

So long as we each pay our own bills, we're good.

Jen
 
I keep no secrets from my wife. Guns are part of our household, and she knows when I buy one.
 
sneak....

I have to sneak them into the house,
once they're in there she's none the wiser. She sees guns as a monitary drain on the family finances. I could live at the bar like so many, but I don't. Quit drinkin', quit smokin', don't wear fancy clothes, don't have any other expensive hobbies. At the end of the day I do have something to show for that appreciates in value. No gentlemen, telling her the truth would be much uglyer than having her not get hurt by what she doesn't know. I am an honest person and it goes completely against my grain to have to do this, but she just doesn't understand. :banghead:
 
She sometimes gets exasperated when I want to keep buying them, she doesn't understand why I'd need so many...but I tell her the truth.

Yes honey, that is a very valid point that I really don't need another gun.

You are correct.

You may come with me to the shop while I pick it up if you like.
 
Yes.

Last night I also checked out a few pistols and a few rifles... I told my wife about the rifles, she said, get the .223 :eek:

We went shooting with friends, she's not keen on the pistols, but her friend's (female friend) rifle may have got her hooked :evil:
 
I never had any sort of problem about guns at home. Any gal I ever dated who was snippy about guns didn't get dated thereafter. My first wife like to shoot. So, as long as the basics of financial security were okay, we bought me-stuff and her-stuff.

After we broke up, I had a few gals who seemed to think I'd be good husband-material if they could retrain me away from shooting and hunting. That was a one-time mistake. :D

The present BossLady is a good shot with a .22, and is quite willing to use here Model 36 if need be. Good lady.

:), Art
 
My wife would notice a new gun and would take it as a cue to buy another of her own.

She carries.
 
My wife told me that I couldn't have a tv in my office until I got at least 9mm for home defense (I mostly shoot small caliber target, bench)

Now I can clean my 9mm and watch tv. :D
 
I do not conceal my firearm purchases from my wife, and she does not give me any grief over them, as long as what I spend is reasonable and the family budget allows for it.

Basically she doesn't bitch if I am not taking food out of the kids' mouths. In fact, on my last purchase she encouraged me to get it and not worry about it since we had the money and it was a gun I had wanted for some time.

She's a keeper.:)
 
With the first pistol. I told the wife immediately. With the second pistol, that I bought on my personal plastic, I told her after a couple of weeks.

When it comes to the joint checking account, we discuss any purchase over $100.
 
I find its easier to ask forgiveness than for permission :evil: My wife doesnt mind that I am buying guns, she just wonders why I need another gun instead of saving for a house. Of course I have only bought one new gun in the last 2 years, but I am always buying new parts and tools to play with my 1911's and she does get a litle annoyed. My problem is that she doesnt spend money on ANYTHING, no soes, no clothes, nothing, so its hard for me justify in comparison her purchases....

She is getting better, when we met she wouldnt even hug me if I was carrying a gun, now she thinks they make a nice centerpiece on the coffee if I while I let them "air out" after I am done cleaning them as long as they dont smell to strongely of hoppes ;)

On the flip side, she is very interested in working for my company doing some investigative leg work, and I told her she could only do it if she got her CCW, she is considering it...once I get her, her own gun I have a feeling I will have an easier time purchasing other accessories (crossing my fingers)
 
Not married but my insight

I have never been married but have witnessed how many different couples deal with this but first my quick story.

I recently finished dating an MAJOR anti-gunner (despite that her mother was an avid IPSC competitor) and everytime something started to turn into an argument she would ask if I had my guns in the apartment. As if I was going to use them to settle the argument. She also claimed that I was paranoid for thinking that guns are necesary to maintain security.

Second story my parents, my mother has always kinda had a dont ask dont tell policy on guns. She doesn't care for them but is not anti gun. Now that I am starting to purchase my own firearms she has learned to deal with it more but still a tepid subject.

Finally my boss, this is proboly the most amusing situation I have heard yet. When he got married he had quite a collection but his wife said he could only add a gun to the collection at the same rate she gave birth. One gun for each kid. Well he now has 3 kids and a while back he was hoping for twins.
 
Hey Portland... I'm across the street from Portland in LO, literally

My neighbor had 5 guns before breaking it to his wife that he had "a" gun (pretty much anti-gun) at one point he wanted to keep the new ones at my place but when my wife told him that we'd get to keep them if he did that he had second thoughts... :c)
 
I keep no secrets from my wife--can't operate in relationship with iffy communications. Her attitude is couldn't care less as long as the bills are paid. I would like her to have more interest, but she has done some shooting and it just does not tickle her fancy.
 
My hubby and take turns fighting over which gun to buy next. We share a safe, I think my collection is starting to outnumber the hubby's. We both own numerous pistols and both of us own an AR of our own. We usually buy each other guns for a birthday or anniversary. Since we do have a joint account, if one of us sees a gun we absolutely have to have, we will always discuss it.:cool:
 
Not at first, but now . . .

I didn't get into shooting until about 3 years back. When our perceptions began to change, we started looking for a way. :uhoh:

Friend of ours gifted wife with .38 Off Duty J-frame. Sat in the box. Couldn't get her interested. For that Father's day, wife got me a 40th anniversary 10/22. I got to go to the range with each of the kids, but she wouldn't go. :confused:

Realizing that we needed something more serious than target killers, I would wait until I got unexpected bonuses, and add something that would do the job. CX4 (in 9mm) and XD40. Just kept them stashed. Family safety is one of my jobs, so I did the necessary. :cool:

She got me another 10/22 for Father's Day (long version in stainless) last year. She still wouldn't go to the range. :(

Then, late last year, her view of the world changed again, and she asked me frankly if we were adequately armed. I said I'd taken care of the basics. ;)

She was grateful and asked if there was anything else we needed to get.

Well, since you asked . . . :evil:

Now I have some specific tools for specific scenarios, along with some good general purpose stuff. Marlin Camp-9, M1 Carbine, Marlin 336C, and others. :)

Still couldn't get her to the range. :(

Then, for her birthday, I got her a little something for herself. Pt111 (9mm). She declared it the best birthday present ever. And I finally got her to go to the range. I figured rather than scare her off, I'd start her on a gentle slope, so she fired her first 4 mags from a Mk II (7" ss). Better than 70% in the "ruin your day" area of the target. :) :D

My birthday's coming up, and she's put me on notice that I'm going to have to decide between an AR and a 1894C/revolver .357 companion set. Her words: "Just pick something. You should probably get the AR." Sigh.

And if I finish painting the living room and hallway she'll come with me to the range.
 
I don't discuss purchases with my wife and she doesn't seem to particulary care as long as it doesn't impact the operation of the household and upbringing of the little atomchasers. I've told her if I meet an untimely demise where the inventory and safe combo is and to get a good auctioneer.

Range time, on the other hand, has to be approached with some amount of fineese and negotiation.

To those that are negotiating gun purchases with girlfriends...find someone else unless you don't like having your ba**** anyway. Sometimes the juice isn't worth the squezze.:uhoh:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

N
  • Locked
How to tell the spouse about new purchase
2 3
Replies
65
Views
2K
RT55
R
4
  • Locked
  • Poll
How is your spouse about guns.
2 3
Replies
52
Views
3K
rick newland
R
H
  • Locked
For those who have spouses or significant others who are coming around...
Replies
16
Views
838
Lon371
L
J
  • Locked
Living with an anti-gun spouse, how do you do it?
2 3 4 5 6
Replies
138
Views
16K
harmon rabb
H
C
  • Locked
So Let's Hear It For The Spouses.........
2
Replies
32
Views
1K
P95Carry
P
Back
Top