Don't stop and help people on the side of the road

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That one may have stopped to help others many times means absolutely nothing more than the fact that one may have left the doors of the house unlocked all of the time for years without a problem; or that one has picked up any hitch-hiker who ever came along; or that one has "cleared his house" without a problem (so have I, but there was no one there); or that one has never needed a gun; or, and this is my favorite, that one has never had a problem walking in such and such a high crime neighborhood.

I have to disagree. Stopping to help others does not mean that one is unaware, not cautious, or has not taken any steps to insure their safety in doing so. Leaving your doors unlocked is personally irresponsible and is based more off of hopes rather than an evaluation of a given situation and is static regardless of its evolution.

The rest of the examples are where one in an active capacity within the situation can make make and change their decisions based off of the situation at hand and how it evolves.
 
Posted by Working Man: I have to disagree. Stopping to help others does not mean that one is unaware, not cautious, or has not taken any steps to insure their safety in doing so.
Nor did I say that it was any one of those thing.

What I said was that the fact that one may have stopped doesn't really mean anything in terms of safety, risk, and risk management. As the saying goes, prior performance is no guarantee of future results.

One should be aware, be cautious, and take steps to ensure one's safety.
 
Post 102......

I agree with 102, to stop & render aid at a true accident or emergency scene is fine but don't bite off more than you can chew or be naive. :uhoh:

If you decide that you can pull over and help stranded motorists or accident victims fine, but don't be critical or harsh on other forum members who elect not to.

About 3mo ago on a Sat night around 1130pm, I saw a older sedan(a GM Corsica) parked sideways :eek: in a median/part of a 2 lane road(urban area street). I slowed down to ask if the vehicle occupant(a female 45-50 years old, drunk or high on drugs) if she needed help.
The woman & another unknown male who was on the other side of the road in a black older type Camero sports car were aggressive & belligerent. I contacted the local PD, gave the scene & driver descriptions then split.
The intoxicated woman came up to my SUV a few times yelling in a drunken stupor. :mad:
The 2nd time, I used my command voice & told her to back off.
During this time, a few other drivers-vehicles sped past, yelling slurs & insults at me, :confused: and not helping either.

Rusty
 
We picked up a hitchhiker once. She said her name was Legion and that she had many demons. We don't pick up hitchhikers anymore.


It probably sounds like it, but I did not make this up.
 
Swampcrawler sums things up in a clear, common sense discussion, that does without overly simple black/white applications or judgmental attitudes.
 
Quote:
Posted by Working Man: I have to disagree. Stopping to help others does not mean that one is unaware, not cautious, or has not taken any steps to insure their safety in doing so.
Posted by Kleanbore
Nor did I say that it was any one of those thing.

The comparison with the unlocked door is mainly where that statement came from.

What I said was that the fact that one may have stopped doesn't really mean anything in terms of safety, risk, and risk management.

Agreed to an extent as each situation is different and evolves in it's own way. But, each situation explored (directly or indirectly) also adds to the pool of experience we draw from and increases the chance of making the correct decision under similar and even dissimilar circumstances.

As the saying goes, prior performance is no guarantee of future results.

True, but success does not usually happen by accident.
 
We were on the highway when we heard someone ask on the CB if anyone had a phone they could borrow and came around a turn and there was a truck on the side of the road. I stopped and walked back to see if it was him and it was. Let him come up and charge his phone while using ours to call his company to tell them he broke down. My wife told me later than my son started worrying about what if he does this and that and was calmed down why my wife told him I was carrying. It was a clear day so I could see off the road that no one was there and kept a safe distance between myself and him at all times.
Moral of the story is I feel more comfortable stopping to help since I'm better prepared.
 
If I feel so inclined to get involved with some unusual incident on the side of the road, I'd most likely just call it in. I've seen and dealt with all sorts of the bad element in my line of work; I've come to develop control and trust issues when it comes to helping strangers.
 
crazy stuff happens. once upon a time a woman named wiernos got picked up by people in cars and tended to kill them. Once upon a time a person calling himself 'slavemaster" put personal ads on bondage websites and ended up putting the responding people into oil drums he then buried in his back yard.

Theres a reason cab drivers have that protective cage system seperating them from the passengers. SAFETY.

I read an article by ayoob about how when his kids were younger, and hed assist a cop on the side of the road, or a stranded vehicle, hed put a gun in his kids hand and say "keep the door shut, and shoot anyone except me and a cop if they try to get in the car"
 
Just because some girl alongside the highway or road looks nice and upstanding and you might think you're dealing with some girl-next-door, she just might not be not quite what she appeared.

Like the two pleasant, harmless looking long haired girls in this picture. They are, by the way, NOT on their way to Sunday School. :uhoh:

cid_part1_04000209_03030901cableone.png


L.W.
 
I only read the first page of replies here, but I'm going to go against the grain:

We all take some risks in life, and I feel better about my life if I help some people in need along the way. Sure, there's probably a 1 in 10,000 chance that I could be stopping to help someone who is only faking their emergency as a means of facilitating a crime, but that is a really, really rare occurrence.

Although others have said that they'd never stop in a rural area to help someone, I think that's one of those places where you really need to be most willing to help others. I've pulled people out of ditches, jump started cars, helped them with tire changes, and given them a ride when all else fails. I spend a lot of time out in the wilderness, and approaching these backcountry locations often involves long drives down infrequently traveled roads in areas with no cell phone coverage… not helping someone out there could ultimately lead to their death, or at the very least a very prolonged and bad experience. Sometimes I think being a good person has to take over, even if there is some risk involved. In this day of cell phones and scary internet news stories it seems like helping a stranger has almost become a thing of the past. I just try to rely on the fact that most folks are good and decent, and the fact that I can probably deal with the ones who aren't.

I have had a scary experience with stopping to help someone just once, and it turned out to be an unfounded fear. I was in college at the time, and lived about 15 miles away from campus while I was attending a large state university with an inner-city campus. I was driving my girlfriend back to her on-campus dorm, and was flagged down by someone who was broken down in a lane of traffic on a highway exit ramp. We had a pistol in the car, but I wasn't wearing one at the time. My girlfriend was also an experienced shooter. Anyway, this wasn't the best neighborhood, and I wasn't really thinking with the same mindset as I do these days (as a mid-career LEO).

As I got out of the car to help the person who flagged me down, four other large and intimidating looking folks (all wearing baby blue clothing - Crip colors) exited the vehicle. It gave me a real "uh-oh" kind of sinking feeling, and I looked at my girlfriend with a "you know what to do, if it needs done" kind of look. The guy told me that he felt his car just needed a jump start, which seemed like a rather unusual problem to have while out driving. I was still a bit worried that I was being setup for something, but offered to try to give them a jump since I was already out of the car (the situation certainly had me quite on edge though). Anyway, sure enough, their vehicle just needed jump started, and they were very appreciative of my help. One of them even commented that they had been waiting for over an hour and no one would stop to help (no surprise, I thought to myself).

In the years/decades since that time I've helped dozens of others. It isn't about going out to play "hero", it's just a matter of being a decent person (at least in my mind). Some guy tried to offer me $100 for a can of Fix-a-Flat that I gave him after I found him with a flat tire on a 4x4 road in the middle of nowhere with an inoperable spare. I told him to keep the money, and just help someone else out in the future. Hopefully he has.

Okay, so my rant had little to do with strategies and tactics, and I apologize for that. So, let me close this with some useful information:

Use common sense in choosing whether or not you stop to help someone. If you pull over and the situation looks bad, drive away. If you're alone and in a spot where something doesn't feel right, maybe it's better to call it in than it is to stop and help. But, most of the time you'll just be giving a hand to someone who really needs some help!
 
I will make one comment directed towards another poster. While "Mayberry" doesn't exist now and never did, South Dakota is hardly a hotbed of crime. True, there's an occasional homicide but you could count them on both hands virtually every year going back a century. Many years there are only a couple. We often go years between years between incidents where an LEO is killed, and in my hometown of Sioux Falls there have only been a couple officers killed in the line of duty in the last three decades IIRC. And bear in mind that the Sturgis rally draws a number that's sometimes equal to 1/4-1/3 the population of the entire state!

We do have a drug corridor that runs through the state along the Interstate but even so there are very few homicides. Obviously being outright murdered is only one fear if you stop to help someone; there are a lot of assaults in SD for the amount of people here.

At any rate, I'll absolutely admit that even SD has crime. Just not gonna let it terrorize all out of proportion to the reality of the situation.
 
We picked up a hitchhiker once. She said her name was Legion and that she had many demons. We don't pick up hitchhikers anymore.
Last time (and ONLY time) I picked up a hitcher, I was 16, and he was at one time my best friend growing up. (age 4-12) Asked him where to, and he said the quarry. "Going swimming," I asked, and he told me "No, making some money," whereby he took out a vial of about 200 hits of blue microdot acid. I pulled over, kicked his ass out of my car, and I don't believe I ever even talked to him for the rest of his life. He died at 39, something I fully expected to happen sooner. There maybe some hitchers that deserve better, but he kinda killed it for me.
 
That's virtually a text-book case of why you shouldn't pick up hitch-hikers. You have no idea who you're letting into your car.

For accidents, or people stranded -- use your cell phone to call for help.
 
A couple of years ago we were leaving a convention on the South Side of Chicago (the McCormick Place). A man ran up to our car claiming his daughter was hurt and asked us to come help her. I refused to open the car window, and yelled to him that I'd call 911, which i did. We received a call back from the 911 operator 10 minutes later asking for more details, as they had police and the fire department on the scene. The man disappeared, and there was no injured daughter. Nothing good would have happened if we had gotten out of our car to "help". Our police and fire departments are trained to handle these emergencies. Call them, and keep yourselves safe.
 
Street people.....

Homeless people & vagrants are a serious problem in my metro area.
About 2mo a CCW license holder was cleared(no formal charges) for shooting a aggressive pan-handler that attacked him as he exited a 7-11. :uhoh:
Some of these people are "street crazy" they stay out in the extreme heat, sun, humidity etc. They buy or steal drugs(many times medications that they don't know or don't care about side-effects).
Doing security work, I've seen street people & vagrants cook up every scam, scheme & story you can think of. :mad:
Some passer-bys or citizens/drivers give these people a $1 or $2 out of pity or to get rid of them but that just spurs some vagrants on(or when denied makes them more angry because the drugs/alcohol distorts their thinking).
These people can be extremely dangerous or unpredictable. :uhoh:
Long gone are the "hobo Joe with a bindle" days where "where citizens in crisis" would keep to themselves or seek out social services & not badger or harass anyone.

Now, street people jay-walk 24/07 or dart across the streets(many poorly lit or serviced) at night, expecting you to see them clearly or know where they are. :mad:

A metro police officer in my city, struck and killed a vagrant on a bike with his police vehicle at night in 12/2013. He was not charged or reprimanded by the PD.
 
Some passer-bys or ...
Several years ago I heard a police dispatcher in Tacoma use that, and was seriously tempted to call the non-emergency line to correct her.

It's 'passers-by' not passer-bys.

In any event, we had a lot of homeless and homeless-with-mental-issues people in Tacoma, and oddly enough they were all pretty harmless.
 
Wolf & sheep....

Well, a wolf can be in the middle of a 100 sheep, that doesn't mean it isn't dangerous or unpredictable. :uhoh:
 
Here's an idea: Don't over complicate things.

Stop and help if you feel comfortable, and especially if there are two or more of you and you're armed. If not comfortable, drive right on by if it doesn't look life threatening for the people involved.

We can all die in a gas station robbery or whatever unexpected thing happens. This scenario is a simple case of taking precautions and using common sixth sense. Keep your distance at first and make conversation to see what feeling you get. It's not that hard.
 
Here's another angle. Perhaps the stranded individual is vulnerable and if you don't stop, the next person that stops will be an opportunistic violent person out to do harm...

Growing up, there were several times my mother was stranded and some nice fella helped to change a tire or jump a battery or otherwise help. She was a frail woman, and desperately vulnerable. I shudder to think if Mr. Hero didn't come along when he did to help, the next car may have been Mr. Villain. I was a kid with her a few times, and we were in desperate need of assistance. Times were different for certain. But in those days, there were no cell phones or roadside assistance, and concealed carry permits were quite rare. I have hitchhiked. I have picked up hitchhikers. I have helped stranded motorists. Never had an issue.

As to hitchhikers, I've hitched and picked up hitchers probably a dozen times. Some funny stories.
* When I was about 15, in my small town, I was picked up by a guy who told me he was on his way to the nudist colony nearby. I had no idea it existed. He was weird, but harmless.
* I was living in Scotland and picked up by all sorts of amazingly nice people, including a family that drove me several hours to my destination and gave me several bottles of wine from their collection they had purchased earlier that day.
* I picked up a stranded motorist on I-80 during winter somewhere in Nebraska. Temps were dangerously low. It was late at night, and the man was desperate. I drove him 30 or so miles to the nearest town. I've rarely met a more appreciative man in my life. He offered me a lot of money, which I declined, and ultimately forced me to take at least $10 which I accepted to not be rude.
* I was walking and stranded during winter in the mountains of Colorado. Long story short, I was under dressed and the walk was much further than I expected. It was dark on a desolate road. Thank the Lord I got a ride, as I could have found myself desperate in short order.
* I picked up an apparently homeless combat veteran (man in his 20s) and his dog - clearly PTSD afflicted - off the interstate onramp. Drove him probably 10 miles or so, and bought him and his dog some McDonalds for breakfast. He was a really nice but troubled young man.
* I know there have been many other examples of how I've helped give people rides places, and know I've been helped terrifically as well, over the years.... never had any issues. But one must be guarded and I would never suggest breaking the law!!!!

Yes times change. While nationally violent crime may be lower, there are really twisted and violent people in the nation, in every town, in every state. Criminals can travel quite easy and motivations for crime are nearly endless (drugs, money, property, ID theft, sex assault, etc.). Criminals can be quite sophisticated in their tactics, and can learn from others on the web or in jails.

Times changing also means that more people are armed now than ever before. You. Me. Him. Her. Guns are quite common in society, which is a good thing overall. But bad people do have them.

Times changing also means cell phones and roadside assistance is available. Modern cars are so complex that most would be of little help other than a phone call and some company until roadside arrives or a ride to the next town. Often offering to send help or make a call for someone is about the most that can be done.

Times changing also means that a person like me realizes there is danger in offering a ride to a stranger - carjacking, allegations of sex assault by a female, and even being attacked or murdered. Too many crime shows where a person invites a stranger into his life (car, home, etc.) and that decision turns out to be a bad one.

Now, my practice might be to weigh each case individually based on perceived risk. I might drive by offering zero help, I might offer to make a phone call for someone, offer a jumper cable assistance, offer to help change a flat, or offer a ride... it just depends.

It is/would be a shame if we lived under such fear and lack of 'community' that we cannot offer help to others. As I said, I've been on both sides of that coin. I know I've helped many people in great ways on the side of the road. Once I was the first vehicle on a desolate curve and came upon a large truck that had rolled many times, and the driver was badly injured and had crawled away. This was before I had a cell phone but the driver had one. He couldn't operate it due to his injuries, so I used it and called 911. Other times I've helped change tires or jump batteries for very appreciative helpless people.

I feel that we have a duty as humans to help when we can... but of course you need to be smart about it. One must always go in with eyes wide open and be ready for an ambush. Don't turn your back, get into a strangers vehicle, hand over your keys, etc.
 
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I can't add much to what Leadcounsel has said except this; so many people bemoan that the world is so much worse today, yet when offered the opportunity to make it better they do nothing.
 
When asked how he was doing, an older but still active duty Special Forces friend of mine habitually replied, "Older, grayer, fatter, slower."

Well, for some of us that is the inescapable truth - we ain't as young as we used to be. We hurt more and heal slower, as well as being slower to get moving and faster to get gassed when things go to ground (try a session of ECQC with Southnarc...).

So for some of us, mixing it up just isn't a paying proposition any more. And so some of us are more reluctant than we once were to call the ball. Or even get into the ball game at all.

What I am now officially tired of is a bunch of folks here who seem to be trying to put people down for their own personal decisions made in their own circumstances. It will as of now cease and desist. No matter how stove up I am in real life, my fingers can still run a keyboard, and all this implied or open sniping WILL end here post haste and toot sweet.

You want to single handedly save the world, have at it and more power to you. If you feel otherwise - same deal. You want to talk about what you think you would do in a given set of circumstances, have at it - but remember, chest pounding is frowned on here too.
 
Fred, I think it’s also an issue of frequency. Do bad things happen if you stop and help? Yes, sometimes they do. But the question we need to ask ourselves, and purely for ourselves, is whether the frequency of those bad things is high enough to warrant the statement, “Don’t stop and help people on the side of the road”.

I think people will read the thread title, “Don’t stop and help people on the side of the road” and remember the times they helped or were helped in just such a situation when nothing bad happened, and say to themselves, “Poppycock!”

Maybe a better thread title would be, “Be careful if you stop to help people on the side of the road”.

As I tried to point out in my contribution to this thread, pretty much anything can be used as a ruse to lure someone into a situation where the bad guy has the upper hand. If the side-of-the-road thing doesn’t work, they’ll try the ‘out-of-work-veteran-looking-for-help’ scheme, or the ‘can-I-use-your-phone-my-car-is-out-of-gas' gig.

It’s great the OP wants to make us all aware of some scheme of which he’s become aware, but it’s just one of many, and not every broke down car on the roadside has bad guys lurking down in the weeds. In the few years I’ve been reading this forum I’ve noticed it- someone posts a bad thing that happened, and it was really an outlier, rare occurrence sort of crime, and suddenly everyone is changing their safety plan.
 
It’s great the OP wants to make us all aware of some scheme of which he’s become aware, but it’s just one of many, and not every broke down car on the roadside has bad guys lurking down in the weeds. In the few years I’ve been reading this forum I’ve noticed it- someone posts a bad thing that happened, and it was really an outlier, rare occurrence sort of crime, and suddenly everyone is changing their safety plan.

My thoughts exactly. Could not have said it better!
 
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