Fiance not too crazy about shooting handguns

[md7]

my fiance (one more month till she's the wife) is scared of handguns. she has her own rifle to hunt with and likes to shoot that, does not mind that i have handguns, but is not comfortable at all with handguns herself. I do not want to force anything on her that she does not care for, but there are times when i will not be at home, and when she is on the road that having a handgun, and knowing how to use it would come in handy. she is young and pretty, and could not beat her way out of a wet paper bag. if anybody needs to learn how to defend herself, it is her. i am concerned for her safety. not that i think anything will happen, but if something did, i would want her to be able to defend herself. anyway, i have tried to get her to shoot my .22 pistol. i figured, not too loud, no kick, she might see me shoot that and maybe we could work our way up. maybe to a 9mm or a .38. she is just scared to death of them. i have tried being rational and telling her the reasons she needs a handgun, but no success. any of ya'll had similar situations?

 

[2PAK]

She's young, give her some time. Dont force the issue. She'll come around the longer you two are togther.

 

[whatbrick]

Does she have any problems with shotguns? I'd take that over a handgun for home defense (but that's just me). For self-defense outside of the home, there's always OC spray, stun-guns, knives, etc. While handguns are the more effective tool, they are not the only one.

Best thing to do is be patient. She has to find her own way and if she never comes around to liking handguns, then that's something you'll have to accept (with a smile no less ). She may have an incident in her past that made her afraid of handguns and getting over that may be a chore in itself.

Have you both been to the shooting range together (her with rifle, you with handgun) so she can see what fun they are? If self-defense is the only reasoning you are using, it may be souring the idea for her. If she can see that shooting handguns can be just as much fun as rifles it could help form a different opinion of them.

But for goodness-sakes don't go trying to convince her right now, it sounds like there's wedding stuff to be done! She shoots and doesn't mind what you shoot, so you are ahead the game compared to some people.

 

[Bazooka Joe71]

My girlfriend didn't like handguns until i took her to the range...Now she gets pissed everytime I go without her! She definately likes my .22's the best, probably because she is a small girl herself. If she has never been to the range with you, insist on her going at least once...She'll be hooked after that.

 

[EdLaver]

I had a similiar problem with my wife until she had to fire a shot at an intruder with my Baby Eagle 9mm when I was out of town for a week. She quickly got over her fears and has since then learned to shoot and she's darn good at it.

 

[up_onus]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Have her read...
www.gunfacts.info
a lot of fun!

 

[Lonestar.45]

Don't push, or you will be sorry and find yourself with a wife that does not even want YOUR handguns in the house. Just get her to the range a lot with her rifle and bring your pistols, and sooner or later she'll come around once she see's they're not any more scary than her hunting rifle.

Either that, or get her a good shotgun, she probably won't be afraid of that and it'd be a great HD weapon. If you're serious about her safety while she's on the road, convince her to get some pepper spray to start.

 

[md7]

guess i'm not the only one that has had this issue. I would be ok with having her shoot a shotgun for home defense. i have one, it is easy to use, and she seems to take to long guns better anyway. so that may be the solution for the home. i would still like for her to have something other than pepper spray while she was out. i can lead a horse to water, but i can't make it drink. maybe after some exposure to handgun shooting as a recreational event like what some of you suggested would be a good start. certainly don't want to force the issue, so i am going to let her be around it, see that it is actually fun, and let her make her own mind about it. still wish i could make her see it logically though. guess that is another topic for another thread.

 

[Majic]

Leave that issue alone. People must understand that not everyone will like or have anything to do with a handgun. If she changes her mind she will let you know. In the mean time respect her decisions.

 

[Ichiro]

Get her to the range in the interest of having some fun and see if she'll carry some OC and keep her doors locked.

 

[Helstrm]

My wife was always anti gun, Then one day she went to hang out with my best friends wife and he was there. Well about 4 hours later I pulled up to see her shooting pins at 75 yards with a .22 rifle and pins at 25 yards with the .22 ruger and a .22 revolver. She is still scared of my 1911 45s but it was progress. The bad part is I had to go inside and watch the kids so she could shoot.....

 

[Marshall]

She's young, give her some time. Dont force the issue. She'll come around the longer you two are togther.

+1

 

[Wesker]

How young are we talking here? It's hard to imagine how she can have such a double standard. Saying "I like to hunt with my rifle" but "I'm skittish and uncomfortable around handguns" is just crazy.

 

[Marshall]

My wife was the same way. Didn't mind shotguns and rifles but handguns she didn't like. I could try to make sense out it but there no sense in doing so, it doesn't matter. It's just the way it is, or was.

 

[CornCod]

No sense forcing the issue. Try shotguns or pistol caliber carbines! Just be happy you have a chick that likes to shoot. A lot of guys would pray for a gal that likes shooting of any kind!

 

[ozwyn]

The carbine with pistol caliber idea sounds like a fine way to ease her into pistol calibers and then handguns.

No need to be dramatic about it, or push anything. She is essentially pro-gun which means sooner or later she'll get curious and want to try a handgun out.

the carbine just makes it a little easier. Above all else, count yourself lucky she is into guns at all

 

[AJ Dual]

Since she's happy with hunting rifles that generally have a much greater blast and recoil than most handguns, AND she's not against your handgun ownership, I think it's more of a physio-emotional problem.

I think she's either afraid of recoil just on her hands without shoulder bracing, or she has an ingrained fear of losing muzzle control.

The rifle muzzle is far away, and it is rather difficult for the holder to either intentionally or unintentionally point the muzzle of a long-arm at your own body or extremities. The long barrel and stock gives your body the instinctive feeling that you've got lots of leverage to keep the muzzle away from your body should it be twisted or pushed back into yourself. (Just where this twisting or pushing will come from is the irrational part..) The short handgun by comparison feels like it can be twisted around in your hands.

I'm thinking she's got an irrational fear that she can't maintain control of the handgun muzzle, and it subsequently getting "turned around on her". It's like standing on two ledges, one that's 6 feet deep, and one that's only two feet deep. Both are equally sturdy and you've got plenty of room for your feet, so as long as you don't take that step, the short one is as safe as the long balcony.

However, the two foot deep balcony would feel "less safe" to most anyone.

I think she feels this way about barrel length.

Easing her in with a progression of smaller carbines, and longer pistols would be a good tactic.

 

[ZipperZap]

Yep! Range it!

My son works part time at a range ... I can't tell you how many times a fearful or an antigun girlfriend has become a believer and a gun lover after a first trip there!

 

[symr00]

Have you mentioned a self defense class to her? Just cause people may not want to carry a handgun does not mean they don't want to defend themselves. A women's self defense class or a pepper spray training class might be a good alternative for now.

 

[phorvick]

At the risk of being a jerk.... if she will not go to the range for "re-education", or goes but does not change her mind, I would seriously rethink the marriage IF handguns are important to you.

That is the cold hearted fact.

 

[steelhead]

At the risk of being a jerk.... if she will not go to the range for "re-education", or goes but does not change her mind, I would seriously rethink the marriage IF handguns are important to you.

That is the cold hearted fact.
__________________

Don't rush or force her. By the very fact that she doesn't mind you having guns and likes to shoot her own rifle is fantastic. Until she is ready (her decision/ her comfort zone), to use a handgun, she will be more of a danger to herself than others. In the meantime, get some pepper spray. Granted it isn't as good as a handgun but still better than nothing.

Fo the home, get a shotgun in 12 or 20 gauge or a lever action carbine in 38/357. Either of those would be a better house gun than a revolver or pistol. Plus, it is another excuse to purchase a firearm .

 

[crunker]

As was said earlier, start out with .22 handguns, and then work your way up.

But remember to take it slowly.
If possible, start out with a handgun that doesn't look militaric or scary at all - like a snub-nosed revolver.

BTW, is there any reason why she's afraid of handguns?

 

[md7]

Phorvic, this isn't a marriage ending issue here. she is a gun owner herself and although she doesn't like to shoot handguns, she doesn't mind if i shoot or keep them around. mainly, i just want her to learn how to shoot them. not going to force her to. she will have to make her own mind up about it. It aint like Ted Nugent and Diane Feinstein are about to tie the knot here.

 

[Nathan Williams]

It aint like Ted Nugent and Diane Feinstein are about to tie the knot here.

Wow what a great idea. We should set them up old "Iron Box" would be on our team in a month .

 

[22-rimfire]

Not liking handguns is not just reserved for females. My father does not like handguns and none of my brothers own a handgun. Rifles & shotguns; yes. Hence, don't worry about it. If she wants to shoot handguns, she will.