Future step-kids and guns in the house

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pelzer24

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Im in a relationship with a woman with two kids. The oldest is 9. I have my pistol in the house. I usually just keep it out of reach on the top of the fridge or entertainment center. My girl isn't pro or anti gun...she's just not used to them. I don't really know what I should do in terms of the oldest or with her. If there's anyone else who's been in a similar situation and has some advice I'd appreciate it.

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Yes, been there.

I have my own kids, as well.

"Out of reach" is a term that ceases to exist right after they learn to walk...so get that out of reach crap out of your head. :)

It is no different than anyone else. Teach them and train them. Until then, don't leave it loaded if it isn't on you. If it wasn't on my side and there was anyone of any age in the house that I was unsure of, it would be locked. The exception being bedside duty...and still in a night time, quick access type safe.

Just my 2 cents.
 
Are they moving in? A quick access safe may seem like a lot of money at 100-200 dollars, but not when you compare it to the cost of unintentional loss of life or a lawsuit for a child illegally bearing a gun. Get some .22 rifles and her and the kids to the range on a nice sunny day when its not to busy. Or take a class together. Make it a family event and keep it safe and fun. Don't forget snacks and drinks and maybe a few balloons!
 
Thanks for the quick replys! Im already moved in. Been thinking about the safe. Can't take the youngest yet. Think 18 months is a little early lol. I had been keeping it on me but it bothered her. I already have .22s. They stay locked in the car. Im new to the woman with kids thing and I'm trying to find my place and my role in the kids lives but take their protection, as well as their moms, VERY seriously. Good advice.

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I had been keeping it on me but it bothered her.
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I try to get them accustomed to that if they aren't used to that sort of thing. If she is dead set against concealed carry, then we aren't going to work. I have kids of my own to think of.

FWIW, my step son from my 1st marriage is still my best shooting buddy. He's the only one I know I can call and will go rain, sleet, snow or shine. He even loves cleaning them after we're done so I know I have some help.
 
Start at the beginning and get her to a women only class. Pretty soon she will be hoggin one of your .22s. Its normal she will progress at her own pace, but like has been said before if its not on you its not secure get a safe!
 
As everyone has said, kids will be curious, you just have to teach them correctly from the get-go.

Now as for the gal, let her know that the gun is to keep you, her and her kids safe, and that is your number one priority, because her kids' safety is her number one priority as well. Take her out shooting with you, make it fun, and she will learn that guns are not a bad thing at all.
 
Yup I bought a night stand safe for less than 100 at a local gun shop. Its only purpose is to keep the gun safe from the kids. I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old and they get into everything so keeping it put away is most important.

And like the others have said work with her on her time line not yours. She will warm to it over time, you are talking about an important relation ship here, and you have to ask your self just how important she is to you. You both have to be willing to give and take. I might get blasted for this but if she is happier with the gun in the safe while every one is home I would make her happy.
 
I might get blasted for this but if she is happier with the gun in the safe while every one is home I would make her happy
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Here is a perfect example of a give and take. When everyone is home, the gun goes in a quick access safe, but it stays loaded. That way, it is where the kids can't get to it, but if you need to you can get to it quickly. It keeps her happy, the kids safe, and it is better than keeping a gun unloaded way up in the closet

So no grubby, I am not blasting you, I agree with the logic :)
 
Kids will get into anything that is not under lock and key. I highly recommend something like this just to keep it away from the kids, but available in a moments notice if needed. I have a couple of them and they work great for that for keeping sticky fingers off the guns. One day I will be able to afford a nice safe, but for now these will have to do.

Shawn

Not to jump on the bandwagon, but on top of the fridge is a horrible idea just waiting for an accident to happen.
 
Keep it locked in a quick access pistol safe of your choice when not on your person. You can still get it very fast if needed and the kids will safer than with it laying around, even if you think it's out of reach.
 
How many guns? If one, get one of those one gun, quick open safes that bolt to a nightstand.

More guns? Buy a 16 gun Sentry or other budget safe. If you can afford something better, get it, but the Sentry will keep the kids out, and deter casual thieves with short attention spans.
 
I am facing a new twist on the same problem. I have four boys, aged 13, 9, 6, and 5. The oldest three aren't a problem at all, they can recite the four rules for strangers, and they have all been shooting and understand what a gun does. I showed them that 20/20 expose a few years ago when they tested some teenagers around a gun to see what they would do when no one was watching, and my boys scoffed when they broke the rules. They get it.

The problem is, my 5 year-old is autistic. It's mild, high-functioning, his biggest symptom is that he doesn't talk. Despite this, he is the sneakiest, craftiest, most creative, and troublesome of the four. He invents new trouble to get into and works to destroy things the rest of them never even noticed. He thinks in several more layers than they do. He has no idea what a gun or death is. The other kids have a well-ingrained programming that mom and dad's bedroom is off-limits, they have almost never been in there. Number four could care less. He goes everywhere. The closet shelf, the night stand, the compartment in the headboard were fine for the first three. Not this one. He defeats 'child-proof' locks, fasteners, he can climb the inside of door jambs.

I discussed it with my wife, and the long and short of it is, the rules will have to change. We can't get away with trust. He would have no idea what to do with a gun if he got it, but I don't want him to have all the time in the world to find out either. We are going to have to lock all of them up, all of the time unless they are on our person. It's not what I prefer, but gun-proofing number four is going to be a work in progress, indefinitely.
 
I would not own a gun w/o a safe if kids are around. You can't put them out of reach and you can't hide them. And don't tell them the combo. Not even the old ones.
I know I have 5 kids and two gun safes.
If there is a gun accident not only will you have to live with the grief but with the law as well.
 
I work at a poison center. On an average day, I deal with about 30 cases of kids getting into stuff there parents didn't want them to. Here's my advice based on that experience:

For kids aged 1 to about 6: Do not trust them! If they can get into it, they will, and they can't yet understand safe from unsafe. You just have to keep stuff that is unsafe away from them. The only effective way to do this is to keep things that are not directly in your control locked. Never, ever put down anything unsafe for them for any length of time. They will get into it. If you have kids this age in your house, your meds, cleaning products, guns, etc need to be locked. Period.

Older kids: Teach them how to use and act around guns, medicines, cleaning products, etc. You should be able to evaluate a trust level in children over 6. If you can't trust them... Lock it up. But be aware that untrustworthy 12 year olds are much more dangerous than toddlers as they can now defeat simple locks.

I have two biometric safes that I keep my pistols in. My long guns have locks on them, and the keys are in the safes. It's an expensive investment, but now no one can access any of my guns without my right index finger.
 
A show segment years ago used a hidden camera in a YMCA basement to study whether young boys do what they are told.

The 5 year-old boys were first told that if they ever found a gun, not to touch it and go tell an adult.
Only one boy in the group kept his hands away from it. All of the others picked up the handgun.

I've never owned a handgun, and when my son was young would never have kept one in the house, unless locked every minute in the safe (used only at a range?). The idea that he could figure things out would have scared the (^@P out of me. Some can probably locate 'hidden ammo'.

As extremely remote as the chance of a home invasion is, I would rather have taken that tiny chance than know that an available gun could much more easily be found. It is very clear which possibility leads to serious injury or tragedy which I could not have lived with....

Kids notice much more than parents realize, and find guns and other objects that are 'hidden'. Rifles are unwieldy but the bullets go through walls.
How many injuries or deaths do we read about, out of the total every year?
We must live with our decisions, but it can be more than many can bear...
 
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^^ So do you not own guns then? I am confused here. If you have guns and kids, keep one of them locked up, probably the guns, but who am I to judge?

I have worked in EMS for a lot of years and can tell you that you can't protect your children form every thing no matter what. But taking basic safety steps goes a long ways. The only accidental gun shooting involving kids that I have had experience with involved a gun that was loaded and not locked up.
 
My stepdaughter was fascinated when she learned I had guns. I taught her how to safely handle them, I took her shooting, and now touching them or taking them out and looking at them is not big deal to her.

In my opinion, get the kids used to them, and the curiosity might go away.
 
txhoghunter said:
Here is a perfect example of a give and take. When everyone is home, the gun goes in a quick access safe, but it stays loaded. That way, it is where the kids can't get to it, but if you need to you can get to it quickly. It keeps her happy, the kids safe, and it is better than keeping a gun unloaded way up in the closet

So no grubby, I am not blasting you, I agree with the logic :)
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Agreed, it's a compromise. If she objects to you keeping it on your person in the house, then the only safe way around the kids is to lock them up.

With more familiarity tho, she may become more accepting of you keeping one on you at home.
 
With eight grandchildren, one a resident of my home, I have two gunsafes. The large one holds all my guns except the home-defense .40 S&W which resides in a quickly accessibe finger-print safe. Kids can get into everything and I would be devastated if one of my precious grandchildren was harmed by a carelessly stored gun.
 
I've had guns all my life. And also kids. Both my sons understood what they were, and WHY they were. When they were younger, I had all my guns locked up, and unloaded. Except for my HD weapon, which I had in a "fingerprint" type safe by the bed. My main issue here, is how your new found lady feels about them. I had a lady some time back, that I really cared about. Every time she came into my home, she wanted to change "little stuff". The way I hung up my phone, how I mopped the kitchen floor, how I cooked, just "little stuff". When you start having to change all you do, and all you are used to, maybe you chose the wrong lady. JMHO.
 
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