GF does NOT like guns...

[silverbird]

Hello everyone,

I'm new to the board here (and to firearms in general). Been lurking for a few weeks now, and I must say, this is one of the most impressive forums I have ever seen.

I'm wondering if anyone has any good advice on what to tell my GF to convince her that guns aren't just for cops and robbers. She gets in a heated rage whenever I bring up the subject, and will not budge on the issue. She has never had a bad experience with them, and has really never had ANY experience with them at all. She's just anti-gun. Part of the problem is that her sister is a cop, as was her father many years ago. She hears the stories her sister tells her, and she's decided that the only people that should own a gun are LEO's. She also is hearing from her friends that she cannot cave on this issue, because she needs to exert her right to make decisions and stick by them or some crap . She puts a lot of value in the opinions of others (except me).

I got my handgun kindof under the radar....when I told her about it I already had it, and basically said there was no way I was returning it (had always wanted a gun, but never got off my azz to do it....just had a recent "kick in the pants" though). Now I'm wanting a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th gun, but she's not budging. Not even through inheritance, where I stand to inherit a ~WWI 1911 ca1918, and my grandfathers rifle ca mid-1800's.

I fancy myself as a decent "case presenter" (read: arguer). I've presented the self-defense side, all of the "what-if's" that I know of, including hiking with bears, intruders, riots, New orleans-type scenerios, and Armageddon.

Any suggestions?

 

[Delmar]

Forget the self defense issues with her right now, and concentrate on the recreational issues. Make it look like throwing darts or something and get her to come with you. Take your time with her if she is worth keeping around. Otherwise, find you a good country girl and dump this simpering fool!

 

[scout26]

She either converts or becomes ex-GF.

It's a control issue.

Take her to the range and let her have fun.

 

[JohnKSa]

If you're not willing to cave, you'd better leave.

Coworker married a mild anti. She let him keep the guns he already had until she got pregnant. At that point she put her foot down and his guns went.

You're starting out with a rabid anti. It won't go better for you than it did for him.

 

[Zundfolge]

ha ha ha ... another man who thinks he can argue with a woman and win.


It ain't gonna happen ... I don't care what the subject. Modern women have been so inculcated in gender feminist dogma that changing her mind to what a man says is akin to allowing yourself to be sold into sexual slavery.

ut she's not budging. Not even through inheritance, where I stand to inherit a ~WWI 1911 ca1918, and my grandfathers rifle ca mid-1800's.

If you're serious about this girl, at some point you WILL have to choose between her and your interest in firearms.

If you're not that serious about her then say goodbye and find another ... they out number us so you will be able to find another one that's better.


Now I sit and wait for the posts by those who didn't heed this warning and eventually ended up in divorce court over this kind of thing ... much poorer and without Grandpa's fine collectibles

 

[grampster]

I agree on using the sporting aspect. Non blood sports, like skeet, trap, blasting targets, tin cans, olympic sports (both winter and summer games) etc. Once she becomes familiar with the fun and skill of shooting as well as the social aspects, she'll start thinking about the other aspects of firearms.

Go join a gun club.

 

[Alex45ACP]

And if you're thinking about marrying her, peruse this site first: www.NoMarriage.com

 

[grimjaw]

Does she have a problem with you dating other people, b/c that's what I'd be considering at this point.

jmm

 

[Jake]

Step 1- Turn on TV.

Step 2 - Pick news broadcast of choice.

Step 3 - Watch reports of murder, rape, looting and other general unplesantness in NO.

Step 4 - Explain theory of self-reliance.




May or may not work but is a heck of a lesson in reality.

 

[Delmar]

My wife, God rest her soul, was an anti big time until I got her to think about the recreation part of it. I got her to come to the range with me, and once she fired my Government model, it was maybe 3 days before she went and purchased her own.

The biggest mistake for most men is stressing the self defense aspect of it. THAT is what most anti's are afraid of in the first place!

Once they have warmed up to the bullseye part of shooting-no sillouettes at the first couple of outings, as its another reminder of the feared death and destruction part of their fobia.

 

[Chawbaccer]

I bet she ain't the only girl in Maryland is she?

 

[cowboy77845]

If you want to keep/have your guns , you best find another girl. Now its guns, whats next. It is a control issue as said previously. This is a no win situation for you. Chances are she will not convert and you will get "If you really cared for me, you would give them up". If you give them up, it will be like eating an armadillo. The bite will get bigger and bigger and you will not be able to swallow. You will be unhappy for the rest of your life. And that will make you sick. All this is dependent on how much you like firearms. Seems like the New Orleans situation may reinforce the need for them and her attitude is irrational. Your choice, your life. But this is a prescription for being miserable.

 

[Line Rider]

If she is anti-gun I would think long and hard about continuing with the relationship. This will be a sore point with her from now on.

 

[joab]

Normally I say don't discuss it with her anymore than you would discuss which type of underwear you are allowed to wear,but.

If she is that anti and you are planning on spending a substantial amount of time under her control you should review exactly how strong an issue this is for you.

If you're not gonna cave, and you shouldn't
And she's not gonna cave, and she won't
Then you need to evaluate whether this is something you are willing to fight over, until you do cave.
Which you will..

 

[asteffes]

This is a topic that you cannot argue with any hope of changing someone's mind. You will never change her mind through debate and "discussion" if she doesn't want to listen and consider what you have to say.
-Adam

 

[MDHunter]

Don't Do It

Dude,

Stick to your guns (pardon the pun), and toss her back in the pond if she doesn't like it. If you start giving in NOW, when she's just a girlfriend, by the time you're married you'll be a whimpering, sniveling shell of your current self!

I was married at 25 (wife was 21), divorced at 29 - lucky for both of us, we realized we got married too early and agreed to part ways without inflicting long-term pain and suffering on each other.

Since then, I've been in four fairly serious relationships (I'm 44 now), and EACH TIME, when the woman wanted to take things to the next level, I chose not to.....it just didn't feel right to me. The women have gone on to other relationships that are now serious......and all of them aren't particularly happy at this point. You know what that told me? That I wouldn't have been able to make them happy, either. I'm DAMN glad I didnt jumo in too soon a SECOND time!

If what you're doing as a boyfriend is already giving this woman cause for concern, how in the world will you be able to keep her happy over a 30-40 year period? Save yourself time, grief, and worry and wait for a woman who either shares this interest with you, or is happy to let you enjoy the hobby, even if she doesn't partake.

Good luck,

Michael

 

[swampsniper]

Ain't Gonna Work!

Unless she is the best looking, best cooking, sexiest woman in the world, and you are willing to get whipped for her. Take it from an old grampa, move on! You don't want this one raising your sons.

 

[Colt46]

Ultimately it comes down to control

If you can't change her mind then you've got a decision to make.
My best friend has just lost control over his marriage. His wife has him in rehab(booze) and threatens him with leaving with the three kids if he doesn't complete the program and never touch another drop again. This is the same woman that walked out on marriage counseling because she thought the therapist was taking my buddy's side. It's her way or the highway and he's fallen for it. I can't help but think there will be a breaking point.

 

[1911user]

She puts a lot of value in the opinions of others (except me).

That says it all. Find someone else who does value your opinion.

 

[TonkinTwentyMil]

Silverbird, To Cut To The Chase...

... Drop her like a hot potato, and I mean Right Now.

You might also use the "search" function here to dig up some old (fairly recent) threads on the subject of women/wives/girlfriends and guns. Accordingly, there's no reason to re-invent the wheel right now.

I mean no disrespect to the numerous fine/enlightened pro-2-A ladies who are THR contributors. However, they are rare birds in today's politically-correct, gun-owner-demonizing society.

So, I say to you in deep sincerity grounded in decades of experience:

Don't wast your time, emotional capital -- and post-divorce assets -- with any babe with this attitude. You'll be doing her (and you) a huge favor if you simply drop-kick her Million Mommy butt downfield to some sniveling Michael Moore handwringing pacifist libsnot for her next Save The World By Changing Her Man "project."

To paraphrase the immortal Dirty Harry: "Do you feel lucky, dude?"

And, do you really wanta become her tamed-and-domesticated political project on a cute little pink leash?

 

[Greg L]

She also is hearing from her friends that she cannot cave on this issue, because she needs to exert her right to make decisions and stick by them or some crap . She puts a lot of value in the opinions of others (except me).

All of the above & this one: What if one of her anti friends tells her that if she says to the police that you threatened her (some months down the line if you decide to break up with her after confronting her on this issue) & gets a restraining order against you that you can lose your guns for good. Given that you are in MD it isn't hard to believe that she couldn't find a sympathetic ear if she really wanted to.

Unless there are a LOT of other things that you have in common you should seriously rethink this one. As has been mentioned it is a control issue (& one that she sounds like she won't change her mind on). If you cave here, you will not only lose incredible family heirlooms in the future, but you will be expected to cave in on everything else that she wants. Granted, the responses that you get here will be biased towards the progun side, but there are other issues involved beyond that. Think carefully about what you are getting into.

 

[antsi]

-----quote----------
You don't want this one raising your sons.
--------------------

+1,000,000

One of the guys I used to work with was married to a woman like this. She was a former public school teacher, and still teaches the "hands are not for hitting" class. Poor guy likes to shoot skeet, but his wife makes him leave his gun at the skeet club.

Between the two of them, they are raising the most unspeakable twinkie of a son you can possibly imagine.

 

[Byron Quick]

I think you need a new girlfriend.

 

[Technosavant]

A few others have mentioned this, but I'll take another whack.

It isn't about guns at all. Put that issue out of your mind.

It is about control.

She refuses to even discuss an issue on which you differ from her. This does not bode well for ANY future disagreements. You describe her reaction as "a heated rage," which may be an exaggeration, but that still points to control issues complicated by anger management issues.

She values every other opinion above your own. Granted, you ain't married yet, but if you think that will change, you are smoking crack. You will never once be granted any leeway if her friends or family differ from you.

Dude, this sounds like a heavily dysfunctional relationship. I am sure she has her good points, or you wouldn't be with her (or would you?). BUT, if you stay with her, you are setting yourself up for a life of misery. Guns are a symptom. Her insistence on absolute control and no discussion, complete with a total lack of concern for your views, are the disease.

Pick any reason you want- they all come out the same way. I can't figure out one single scenario where staying with her is better than striking out on your own.

 

[Standing Wolf]

I don't waste time on anti-Second Amendment bigots, nor do I expend effort trying to teach my kitty how to whistle, wash dishes, or clean firearms.