Conclusion:
I did the smart thing. I went to the gun range and shot four .45s. A Sig 220, a S&W 1911, a Glock 21 and a Glock 30.
The Beretta was out. It's a great shooter, but the safety can be really troublesome, especially when drawing from a thumbreak holster. 1/50 or so draws I end up failing to disengage it.
Sig and Beretta are also great, but I was shooting fliers on the DA shot. Normally with consistent practice it's not a problem, but I don't have the funds or time to go the range frequently (but I do have inclination).
Next, I tried a Glock 21, a Glock 30, and a 1911.
I loved both. The reason? consistent, light trigger pull. I like the blocky Glock sights better for a defensive pistol, they are very easy to acquire on the fast. It was a very difficult choice but I chose the G30SF for now, simply because a) I shot it really well, b) it's smaller and lighter than a 1911, so I can CCW, c) When I get a G21, the mags will be compatible d) much less maintenance intensive than a 1911.
I would have bought a G22 with night sights and 3 mags for $475 (LEO/Military discount) but I just have never really got a hankering for a .40 cal. I guess I am a 9mm or .45 guy, although I am gradually opening up.
When I first got into shooting, I swore I would never get Glock combat tupperware. They were faddish, conformist, non-individualistic, and lacked personality. But the sunsa-beesknees just plain work.
I am still scared to carry with one in the chamber, but I am going to do what I did to work up to it in the Beretta. Carry with snap caps chambered around the house, move up to carry with ammo in the house, and finally to full CCW.
But this I have to say above all. Yeah it sucks I spent $100 trying out a bunch of different pistols. But it is so worth it. Worth more than every gun mag ever written.
And my hands/eyes must be really weird. I think the XD has a weird grip angle and the Glock is very normal