paintballdude902
Member
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2007
- Messages
- 2,872
well this is a little hard for me to write but i think it may help a few others out there with a battle similar to mine. alot of my friends never knew about it and the only person in my family that knows is one of my brothers that helped me get clean
back about a year ago i was having a pretty hard time in life, i was failing a few classes, found out my girlfriend was sleeping with a good friend of mine ect.. i started using perscription drugs from time to time, now i was never a big drug user in high school i had smoked pot once or twice but that was it, my recreational use turned into an addiction and by march i was spending somewhere around $150 a week on pills i was using every thing i could get from vicoden to methadone just to escape from problems i didnt have to courage to fix. because of my addiction i lost some pretty good friends that figured if hes gonna start this crap maybe we shouldnt hang with him anymore. i made some more "friends" that were into the same thing i was which just pushed my addiction further. i guess i finally hit rock bottom around june when i went to california to visit family and the effect of withdrawl made me so sick the entire trip i didnt want to do anything except sleep this is when my brother told me that he knew what was going on and would help me in any way i needed it. more than anything i just needed him for someone to talk to.
when i got home i sat down with my best friends max and cassie and told them what was going on. they both showed me total support and my buddy max has been one of my best friends since freshman year of high school the next day he took me shooting, i owned guns and still do but i was spending all my money on pills so didnt shoot hardly any at that point, it was just me and him, a bottle of 15 vicoden, and our guns. we sat there and lined up every pill on a dowel and shot them(took a few tries lol) this was kinda my way of destroying my demons. it actually was really hard to do that because i kept thinking what a waste, but when we were done it actually felt really good that i was able to have fun with out them, release my built up stress and defeat my problems
this was the day i figured out that i need to deal with my problmes and not just run away from them like i had been. this was also the day that i found the best way i ever have to release stress we sest up everything we could think of that day, from a crt monitor to full soda cans and those pills to fruit just to make something explode.
i had so much fun then and i didnt need the drugs to have a good time and release stress. ive carried this on since july, i tend to shoot alot now to release stress and cope with problems. it relaxes me just about as much as drugs ever did and is cheaper and legal
im sitting here writing this with tears building up in my eyes thinking about everything that in a moment of weakness drove me to drugs, how hard the battle not to go back was, drove me away from friends, but most importantly drove me to the people that are my true friends the people that wanted me to be clean and that stood by me the whole time.
its a true possiblity that guns saved me from a life of nothingness and drug use
my note to any of you that are battling something similar is this: you are not a weak person and we all have our problems but you can conquor yours and you can over come the demons find somethinglike shooting to take the stress away, and find your true friends
back about a year ago i was having a pretty hard time in life, i was failing a few classes, found out my girlfriend was sleeping with a good friend of mine ect.. i started using perscription drugs from time to time, now i was never a big drug user in high school i had smoked pot once or twice but that was it, my recreational use turned into an addiction and by march i was spending somewhere around $150 a week on pills i was using every thing i could get from vicoden to methadone just to escape from problems i didnt have to courage to fix. because of my addiction i lost some pretty good friends that figured if hes gonna start this crap maybe we shouldnt hang with him anymore. i made some more "friends" that were into the same thing i was which just pushed my addiction further. i guess i finally hit rock bottom around june when i went to california to visit family and the effect of withdrawl made me so sick the entire trip i didnt want to do anything except sleep this is when my brother told me that he knew what was going on and would help me in any way i needed it. more than anything i just needed him for someone to talk to.
when i got home i sat down with my best friends max and cassie and told them what was going on. they both showed me total support and my buddy max has been one of my best friends since freshman year of high school the next day he took me shooting, i owned guns and still do but i was spending all my money on pills so didnt shoot hardly any at that point, it was just me and him, a bottle of 15 vicoden, and our guns. we sat there and lined up every pill on a dowel and shot them(took a few tries lol) this was kinda my way of destroying my demons. it actually was really hard to do that because i kept thinking what a waste, but when we were done it actually felt really good that i was able to have fun with out them, release my built up stress and defeat my problems
this was the day i figured out that i need to deal with my problmes and not just run away from them like i had been. this was also the day that i found the best way i ever have to release stress we sest up everything we could think of that day, from a crt monitor to full soda cans and those pills to fruit just to make something explode.
i had so much fun then and i didnt need the drugs to have a good time and release stress. ive carried this on since july, i tend to shoot alot now to release stress and cope with problems. it relaxes me just about as much as drugs ever did and is cheaper and legal
im sitting here writing this with tears building up in my eyes thinking about everything that in a moment of weakness drove me to drugs, how hard the battle not to go back was, drove me away from friends, but most importantly drove me to the people that are my true friends the people that wanted me to be clean and that stood by me the whole time.
its a true possiblity that guns saved me from a life of nothingness and drug use
my note to any of you that are battling something similar is this: you are not a weak person and we all have our problems but you can conquor yours and you can over come the demons find somethinglike shooting to take the stress away, and find your true friends