Had my 2nd Amendment Rights suspended today.

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Battered spouse syndrome, battered wife syndrome, battered woman syndrome, whatever, is junk science that 90% of American courts take for granted. The gist of it is that battered women act irrationally, so irrational acts shouldn't be held against them. My father tells a great story about this one -- he comes across a guy beating the hell out of a woman on the street, so he intervenes by restraining the guy. He takes the guy by surprise and pins him to the ground, and not ten seconds later, the woman has jumped onto his back and is screaming and scratching and biting him (my father), shouting, LET HIM GO! LET HIM GO!

Everybody knows this, and so by definition, you shouldn't need an "expert" to explain it to the courts, but the so-called experts argue that the average person thinks that a woman who defends her abuser does it because she's a masochist who likes to be beaten. So the Courts will go to great lengths to "disabuse" jurors, judges, witnesses, etc. of this "bad common sense." Right.

Anyway my state (MS) is one of the few that doesn't automatically admit BS-Syndrome and so naturally in my first year at Ole Miss, the faculty had us write appellate briefs arguing that it should be.
 
It seems like bi-polars like to go off their meds and cause chaos.
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It's important to note that blaming those with bi-polar disorder for their behavior doesn't do any good, especially in the case of them going off of their meds. Medication non-compliance is a big issue for bi-polars because of the severe side-effects associated with most medications used for it (especially lithium, which is probably still the most-widely used med for this disorder), as well as patients' tendency to stop taking meds once they have stabilized. Bi-polars also often miss aspects of their manic episodes and don't want to completely lose that experience. It's somewhat insensitive and misguided to claim that they go off their meds just to cause chaos. They suffer from a very serious mental disorder that they definitely didn't choose for themselves. This isn't to say that they don't cause serious trouble for others (as for thumper...) but blaming them personally for their actions isn't exactly the same as blaming your average vengeful jerk.
I would also question the choice to have guns in a home with someone who has bipolar disorder, unless their access to them is completely controlled. The instability of those with bipolar disorder doesn't lend itself well to responsible gun owning/use.
-by potato judge's wife, a clinical psych grad student...
 
It might be useful to know the Florida Department of Law Enforcement page on domestic violence in that state: http://www.fdle.state.fl.us/FSAC/Publications/SACNotes/domestic_violence_94-95.asp.

As for the advice about never marrying, look at the passages I emphasized below to see other relationships that are subject to the state's domestic violence law:
In Florida, domestic violence is defined as any "assault, aggravated assault, battery, aggravated battery, sexual assault, sexual battery, stalking, aggravated stalking, or any criminal offense resulting in physical injury or death of one family or household member by another who is or was residing in the same single dwelling unit"; which, with the exception of robbery, includes all violent crimes. Further, "persons who have a child in common regardless of whether they have been married or have resided together at any time" are also covered by the domestic violence law.
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I'm not a lawyer, only a person with some ability to read plain English and a little ability to understand it.

It seems to me, though, that any two or more people who live together for any length of time under the same roof could be covered by the domestic violence law--regardless of their sex or their relationship. A girlfriend (or boyfriend), a roommate, another resident of your college dormitory--any of those people and others might be able to claim protection under the domestic violence law. My suspicion is that a visiting friend who stays overnight or whose home you visit overnight might be able to claim coverage under the law too--especially if he or she claims that it's part of an arrangement in which sometimes she sleeps at your home and sometimes you sleep at hers. I don't know: they're guesses, and the argument's credibility would depend upon case law (with which I'm unfamiliar) and the claimant or her lawyer.

And if I read the law correctly (again, as a layperson) divorce does not affect that coverage if the two people have children in common, whether natural or adopted or in some kind of informal arrangement where the person stands in the father's or mother's shoes. (Think of "My girlfriend's little boy was like my own son" or "My son thinks of him as the father he never knew.") Again I don't know, but I guess that surrogate parenthood probably does make the participants in a sufficiently intimate relationship to create the possibility of domestic victimization, which I think is among the issues such laws attempt to address.

I don't think anyone wants to encourage or even tolerate situations in which people in domestic relationships kill, beat, or prey upon each other. We want domestic relationships to be warm, loving, and supportive, which is as they should be. But there obviously is the possibility for abusing what society intends as protections against abuse. People who serve in the military and law enforcement officers seem to be especially vulnerable to such abuse because claims of domestic violence can terminate their careers. Judges, I suppose, probably choose to err on the side of the claimant because they don't want to risk making mistakes that could end in someone's death.

At the same time, it seems to me, that the only good (but still imperfect) safeguards against being victimized by a false claim of domestic violence would be never to marry, never to have children (in or out of marriage), never to share a home with anyone (at least not for long enough to be seen as a resident situation), and never to enter into any deep or lasting friendships that could be misconstrued as domestic relationships. Be a loner. Never get involved with anyone. Don't sleep with anyone. Disappear from the life of your family: especially don't let your parents, siblings, or any of your children or an ex-wife know where you live or how to find you, and stay away from them all.

Who would want to live that way, or could?

I feel for you, by the way, and I should have said so at the beginning.
 
I've spoken to a bunch of cops and prosecutors who specialize in DV and I'm coming to the conclusion that their efforts bear absolutely zero fruit of any use to society at large. IMO entire area of the law should be abolished and all enforcement should be ended. It is a waste of law enforcement manpower and it is being used to erode both our rights and the sanctity of marriage.

I learned:
1) That half their enforcement workload in a given day is apparently running around doing DV and altercation/disturbance calls.
2) That there is no correlation with general criminal tendencies. Often the first crime they are arrested for is some form of DV, often emotional abuse or slight phsyical abuse of some sort.

So do the math. People who arent criminals and arent harming anyone else have a relationship with their spouse that we as society dont approve of, and so we intervene, at cost to them and to ourselves. And what do we get back? A criminal off the streets? No. We get moral satisfaction at most.
 
Not a lawyer, but...

It seems to me that if they are using a psychiatric diagnosis (Battered Spouse Syndrome) as an excuse for her behavior, and this diagnosis is being entered as evidence in court, and they have an expert testifying to such, you should have the opportunity to counter with an expert of your own. Have her evaluated by an independent psychiatrist. Subpoena her psych records. I don't see how they can raise a psych issue, then disallow any rebuttal or contradicting evidence.
 
No, due process is chucked out the window in domestic abuse cases and especially when going for a TRO. There is no notification, no opportunity to rebut- the womans word is taken as gospel and you are booted out on the street with no immediate recourse. You find out about it when the officers tell you "15 minutes to round up some clothing and leave."
 
Act Now

Thumper,

There are very good attorneys in Jax who can give you a good reading of your situation before they ask for $. It is SRO in Florida to kick off a dissolution action with an allegation of abuse. As you've been advised above, timeliness is important.

Buddy
 
As the old saying goes; we are who we surround ourselves with.

The only question is, do you want to deal with her for another X amount of years, or just get it over with now? More time = more pain.

It's cliche, but there are plenty of fish in the sea.
 
Hawkeye has it. If you want to help crazy women, give to charity. Don't try to help them out yourself. And NEVER marry them!

The second you see the psych pill bottle come out, RUN, don't walk, for the door. Trust me on this one. BOLDLY RUN AWAY.
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Wait, you know women that aren't nuts? I thought they are all born that way.
 
Interesting since you don't hear much about these stories on the O side. I feel for you LT, best of luck to you.

Chief T.
USN
 
I'm really confused. If you are in the Navy, is this being handled under the military justice system, or, in Florida State court?

Where was it filed?

Don't feel you are being abused. Domestic violence in the military has been a problem, and, the courts address it.

I do have a Juris Doctrate degree, and, have had more then my share of working in family law offices, but, in the state of California.

In most states, if you are accused of domestic violence, and, any restraining order is filed, you do loose you right to bear arms. That's standard operating procedure in most states. In Hawaii, police officers would loose their right to bear arms, and, be suspended,or transfered to a desk job, if a TRO was filed against them by a domestic partner, much less a wife.

If YOU file for a Restraining Order, and get it, YOU also loose your right to bear arms, in most states. The logic is amazing. You fear for your life, due to someone's prior violent actions, so, you get a piece of paper, that never stops anyone, and, the police get your guns.

You made a poor decision as to a spouse, and, the act of getting married.
It's your decision, not her's. At a certain point, you have to realize the situation you have entered into, and, deal with it. It usually takes about 5 years to REALLY get to know your partner, all their problems, and the stuff they try and hide from you. You are right on time.

Since you are the only sane one in this relationship, or, we at least think that's the case, it's your judgement on how to proceed from here.

Having had one, wonderful at times, but, crazy girlfriend, I do understand the sort of fatal attraction that such a woman can have. It's not easy to cut it off, and, it won't be easy for her, either. However, if you don't get out, one way or another, the insanity will destroy you, your sanity, and your life.

Sorry to hear you got yourself into such a mess.

S
 
I'm really sorry to hear this mate. Especially if you really love her. The problem is that some people are unreachable, and in this case, continuing can only end badly for you. I hope the divorce goes through alright with the least hassle and pain for you.

:(
 
She won't get well. She may seem to get better but only long enough to bring you down off alert and then blindside you again.

I could easily have had all the crap you are going through happen to me. Mine accused me of every rotten thing imaginable including dog abuse and homosexuality. ( I did loose interest in her but did not take up with the Log Cabin Republicans.) She was probably not bipolar ( a highly over-diagnosed condition.) She was either Boarderline Personality Disorder or Schizophrenic. Those are especially hard to tell apart as both syndromes seem to be taking orders from an alien universe. She was extra dillusional but never made any claims about receiving messages from the great cosmic ooze, the computer or other stock schizophrenic foofahrah. Boarderline doesnt respond to medication any better than any other "Personality Disorder." Valium simply made her drunk. The mental health people at my job couldn't tell about her though she managed to convince one that she was a psychopatic liar. That particular trait cost her at least one job.

Like you, I stayed married to this one for 4.5-5 years out of a since of guilt /stupidity for marrying her in the first place.
 
In most states, if you are accused of domestic violence, and, any restraining order is filed, you do loose you right to bear arms.
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Let's get this point straight. If keeping and bearing arms is a right, you cannot lose it by government fiat. Only liberties are lost thusly, not rights. A liberty is the legal freedom to act in a particular way. A just liberty is the legal freedom to act in accordance with a right one possesses. A right is that which you ought, in justice, be permitted by law to do. It is important to keep our language clear on this point. Rights are not given and taken away by governments, even if liberties (just, or otherwise) may be.
 
This illustrates one tactic that the anti-gunners use: divide and conqure.

1) BAN felons from owning guns, because who's going to stick up for a felon?

2) BAN machine guns, because who's going to stick up for machine guns?

3) BAN some misdemeanors (i.e. domestic violence), because who's going to stick up for a wife beater?

4) BAN 'any other weapon' and 'destructive devices' without special permits and tax stamps that are a major hassle to obtain and maintain, because who's going to protest for 'destructive devices?'

5) BAN 'assault rifles,' because who's going to stick up for an assault rifle?

6) BAN 50 caliber rifles, beacause who's going to stick up for such a desctructive device?

Et cetera.

They own the language, they own the 'moral position' (for the children), fighting FOR real gun rights is the kiss of death for a politician because he or she would be labed as being for wife beaters, felons, destructive devices, assault weapons, etc.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_they_came...

When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social Democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social Democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.

The AWB sunset was a fluke, you can bet that next time they won't make that mistake (and there will be a next time). We've been fighting just to slow the rate of our loss of freedom, without really winning any battles.

That DV law does need to be repealed. The GCA of 1968 does need to be repealed. Things like section 922.r need to be repealed.

To the original poster of this thead, imho you've been shafted. And you know what, I'll go so far as to say that even if you DID beat your wife you've still been shafted. To be clear, I don't support wife beating, if a crime is bad enough then lock the criminal up, but I am flat out against using bad laws to attack the RKBA (i.e. making an accusation of a misdemeanor result in loss of gun rights).

The way things are going, pretty soon a conviction of jaywalking will result in the loss of ones 2A rights.

It sounds weird to say it, but when it comes to the 2A you might want to consider fighting FOR wife beaters. True wife beaters are dispicable, but thier action really has no bearing on gun rights, and the more 'segments of society' that lose their gun rights the more power the anti-gunners gain... divide and conquer.

That's my $.02
 
There are many types of Bipolar illnesses out there. You can't lump them all into one basket and throw the baby out with the bathwater. Many people are walking around not knowing, not realizing that they are bipolar. Chronic depression that can last is a key issue. When put on antidepressants you go into a manic state (and there are more than a few types of manic states to get into) is how a lot of people are diagnosed bipolar. Bipolar simply means that your normal ups and downs are more up and down than the average joe. It doesn't mean that the average bipolar is dangerous or that he or she shouldn't have guns. Probably 2 to 3 million people have this disorder and half to three quarters of them don't know it. They are sufferers.
 
" It doesn't mean that the average bipolar is dangerous or that he or she shouldn't have guns. Probably 2 to 3 million.."

Very true. It has been remarked that the great people of history have often been bi polar. The manic state gives them the drive to accomplish great things. A good fictional example might be Sherlock Holmes. Cyclothymia combined with psychotic features is another thing altogether. For those, the bi polar diagnosis is usually replaced with " Schizo-Affective disorder."
 
Alex, interesting hyperlink there. Not all true, though. My brother thought the same thing. He only dated women of Asian decent, and advised me to do the same. He finally married one about 12 years ago, born in Asia, and moved here when she was in her early twenties. Could only speak broken English, but now speaks it great. Two boys from the marriage, and it's still a strong and close family, but she rules the roost.

If my brother ever tries to put his foot down on something, she starts talking about taking their kids back to her homeland and getting a divorce. He eventually just accepted this situation, so no, even though he and I used to play golf every weekend, and occasionally catch a movie, he's not allowed to play golf anymore, and only allowed to see movies with his kids or his wife, or both. She also handles the money. He's on a tight allowance, even though he's the one busting his but working, while she stays home. All he wants for his birthday and Christmas is a gift card for Borders Books and Music, because that's the only way he gets to buy books and music, even though he's making about $250,000 a year. Oh, and no guns. He had to sell them all. And we used to go to the range together pretty frequently. The boys aren't even allowed toy guns. So, nice thought, but it doesn't always work out as well as you think.
 
Welcome to 2006 where every imagined ailment has a name. I have an aunt that must have 10 different diseases or disorders at any given time. Fibromyalga is her biggest crutch. She gets a tiny bruise, she's wailing and whining like a big baby. She was hooked on oxycontin and lost a great nursing career to her pain killer addictions. She now has permanent brain damage as in seizures and motor skills.

This add or adhd or whatever it is today is the biggest crock of bs I've ever heard. I'd love to take a test for this because I'm sure I'd be one of the biggest cases they've ever seen. I would literally leave one class in school and forget what class I had next, my attention span is about 2 seconds, etc. I still managed to graduate with a 3.0 out of 4.0 while taking physics, calculus, etc. It's called discipline. As far as bipolar, sounds like more bs to me. How did people manage to live 50 years ago before everyone had a name for their disorder? If one of todays adhd kids acted like they do now 50 years ago, they would have had the tar beat out of them by their teachers and then their parents when they got home.

Dude, if you don't get a divorce from this woman, you are crazy. I liken men staying with crazy wives to those women who are really being beaten who refuse to leave their boyfriends or husbands. They need to adust domestic violence laws so that after 2 calls to the police and the woman still doesn't leave the abusive relationship, she is on her own.
 
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