Had my 2nd Amendment Rights suspended today.

[niner4tango]

Ouch.

Divorce settlements vary by state and I know nothing about Florida. The spousal support part seems extremely high for a 4 year marriage. Normally, a good lawyer can give you some rules of thumb about community property and spousal support for your state.

You need someone who is completely on your side.

Your previous attorney was not on your side. $7000 atty fees - plus you paid her attorney fees (which may be unethical) your attorney was on his own side, not yours. (from your blog)

Go interview a couple of attorneys and find out if your settlement is reasonable for your state. If not, do the math on whether it's worth going back to court.

One other thing. You are going to feel this extraordinary financial burden for a long time. And, she has moved in close to you which could be very dangerous to you. Go see a counselor (psychologist) for a few sessions. The military, especially, has some really good people who can help you through the woods on this. You need to make sure you protect yourself from her, and putting some of this in perspective will help do that.

Good luck. This will end. I know, because I write my last alimony check in 6 days.

 

[yy]

Thumper:

any updates?

I've wondered if detectives with fraud units might be interested in this bipolar, totally disabled teacher.



Still, I myself would try to move on, seeing as how all of us are linked in this big web of cause and effect. Justice is over-rated. Learning to be happy with what we have now is the best we can hope for.

I feel for you man.

 

[Taxpayer]

There you go. I have always held that this is one of the areas where LE willfully and knowingly violate your civil rights. In what other situation can a complaintant, with NO evidence whatsoever, have you hauled up before the court and have your property taken. For NOTHING?!

Try calling the cops on your nieghbor and tell them the guy swung at you. Without evidence the cops will do nothing. Next, have your wife call and say the samething. You go to jail.

This is a COMPLETE violation of your rights. THe "law" seems to have no problem doing this.

 

[Sistema1927]

I am sorry to hear of thumper's problems, as well as those of others who have chimed in.

However, when my wife comes home from work tonight I am going to give her an extra hug, a big kiss, and ask here where she wants to go out for dinner. 29+ years so far and I hope that we get another 50 or more.

Maybe there aren't any more good ones out there, but thee was at least one when I was in the market.

 

[Feanaro]

Lesson one: do not marry crazy people.

Lesson two: where legal, have a tape recorder. Always.

 

[kcmarine]

Wow... I'm happy that at 16, I have this information AHEAD of time...

 

[ArfinGreebly]

Thumper Has A Blog

If you look in his sig line, you'll find a link to his blog.

It's not a happy blog.

It's not the sort of rest stop one expects if one is traveling the High Road.

It is, however, understandable.

I'm kind hoping Thumper will find a way to go shooting (budget issues not withstanding) and update us with that.

At least he got his guns back.

Hang in there, Thumper.

Come back to us when you can.

 

[JerryM]

Isn't a person prohibited from obtaining a CHL or purchasing a firearm if he has ever been under a restraining order?
Jerry

 

[mcooper]

Once you get out of this ok get a divorce from the crazy woman.

 

[Bartholomew Roberts]

Isn't a person prohibited from obtaining a CHL or purchasing a firearm if he has ever been under a restraining order?

No. You cannot purchase or possess firearms while under a restraining order; but once the order is lifted, you are OK. Whether or not it causes problems with CHL depends on the state law; but since states like Texas issue boilerplate restraining orders in divorces, I doubt it would.

 

[joab]

Isn't a person prohibited from obtaining a CHL or purchasing a firearm if he has ever been under a restraining order?

I think it is only for the duration of the RO
4473 only asks if you are currently under a restraining order

 

[MechAg94]

I didn't go through this entire thread, but I noticed everyone talking about not getting married. One should remember that states like Texas recognize common law marriage as almost the same as marriage as far as splitting assets. We don't have alimony, but we do have that. You only have to live with a woman for a short time before it becomes a factor.

 

[BAT1]

Been there

First and foremost thanks for serving our country. Second, sue her for physical, emotional and financial harassment. Get medical records, recordings and prove that she is the unstable person and prove she was never physically harmed. Give your guns to a very trusted friend as a gift until this is over. Had that happen to me, and I won and put a permanent restraining order on her. How friendly is she with the CO, that's a no-no in the military.

 

[busy_squirrel]

You cannot purchase or possess firearms while under a restraining order; but once the order is lifted, you are OK. Whether or not it causes problems with CHL depends on the state law;

In WA, when I filed for my CPL, the clerk turned to the supervisor and said: "Look, he had a DV TRO so he's disqualified." The supervisor pointed out that it was dropped so I'm clear and I got my CPL in hand 4 days later.

Yeah, everything about the system sucks though. Eventually my case was thrown out because I filed a ton of witness affidavits saying she was crazy, and we also pointed to her paperwork for the TRO. In the section asking if I'm armed and LEOs need to excercise caution while serving me papers, it said: "He has a hammer." Watch out! Guess I'm gonna pull the nails outta you. lol. She was a psycho.

Hope things get better for ya man.

 

[10 Ring Tao]

http://www.nomarriage.com

Alex beat me to it, and I'm glad he got it in so early in the thread.

 

[.cheese.]

somebody said, "The moment you see that they have pills, run away!" or something like that.

Unfortunately, it's not that simple. It's the ones who aren't taking pills but who should be that are even worse.

I was friends with a girl who was psychotic. Her best friend was too. They were incredibly manipulative, vindictive, and had really mastered the art of whipping up tears to win anything. When her boyfriend wasn't in town, as he was away for months at a time, she relied on me for everything: emotional support, to be the handy-man, etc. etc. Her computer breaks at 2AM while I have no power at my place from a hurricane just passing through, and I haven't slept in days.... she calls me crying that she wants me to come over to her place and fix her computer..... she'd pick fights with her actual boyfriend over trivial things because she loved to fight (I figured it out).... and then would call me crying and I'd have to go over and spend time with her comforting her. She totally used me as backup boyfriend and I hated it.

Then all of a sudden one day I figured I had an extra ticket to a football game and decided to be a nice guy and invite her. What does she do? She goes nuts and calls me a stalker. Tells all her friends I'm a stalker. Tells me she doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

Months pass.... she calls upset that I haven't called her.

This crap went on and on.... thank god I haven't heard from her in 2 years.

Between that experience and reading about poor thumper here.... I have no desire to get married at this point.

And women wonder why men are afraid of commitment.

damn straight.

We don't need our stuff taken, to be a charity for the rest of our lives, and to have our rights stripped from us because of some psycho.

No offense to our female members here. I'm sure there are plenty of decently grounded women.... but some guys like the OP here get totally shafted... and it's just not right.

 

[jeep-2]

old saying, "you can trust your wife, but cut the cards anyway"

 

[rdhood]

Haven't read all of the topic (just the first few and last few replies), but the important thing related to this forum is that... in a divorce type situation... the other side can make all kinds of nasty claims and take out restraining orders and such that takes away 2nd amendment rights without so much as a hearing. It's the only constititutional right that can be suspended with heresay

 

[thumper723]

I sort of have all my guns back.

I've been busy, and have not dropped in. I'm currently living in an RV at the base RV park. With the ludicrous amount of alimony I am paying, its the best option I have left.

The downside, is even though I made a gun vault built into my RV, the base here treats RV's like cars. So I have to keep my stuff in the Armory. The humidity here is so bad, I can't leave them in a storage unit. So just getting my guns to go plinking is a 2 day ordeal.

The ex wife has followed me here. She is still trying to make my life hell, and I basically have become a prisoner on base. She has base access, but has been told to stay out of the RV park. Anywhere else on base I may run into her.

I just hope she does not follow me to my next duty station.

 

[Reddbecca]

Get a restraining order against her!

 

[Im283]

4473 only asks if you are currently under a restraining order

Just because a question is not on the form does nto mean they do not keep track of it for you.

 

[Reddbecca]

It's reasons like this that convince me more and more that marriage isn't worth it.

 

[thumper723]

I did have a delay on a NICS check. I bring my paperwork with me showing that my "scarlett letter" is no longer in effect. I also bring the reinstatement letter for my FL CWL.

1 accusation by a woman who stood to make a financial gain if it was granted (and she did gain, about $120K more than she would have gotten otherwise) was enough to brand me with "wife beater" for life.

Any time I apply for a job, security clearance review, anything that does a background check, it will come up that I had a DVRO granted against me.

I'm sure down the road, when I get out of the Navy, it will come back to bite me in the ass. Probably in getting turned down for a job, or trying to move into an apartment. I already had one RV park refuse to rent me a lot because of my "domestic violence record".

 

[10 Ring Tao]

So, now the question is, how do we learn from thumper's ordeal and avoid it ourselves?

What can be done to prevent this kind of thing from happening, besides not getting married in the first place?

 

[Autolycus]

Originally posted by MechAg94:I didn't go through this entire thread, but I noticed everyone talking about not getting married. One should remember that states like Texas recognize common law marriage as almost the same as marriage as far as splitting assets. We don't have alimony, but we do have that. You only have to live with a woman for a short time before it becomes a factor.

Do you have any case history or evidence to back this up? Or perhaps the statute?