Helping the stubborn know-it-all

[BlkHawk73]

I've got a friend - well, it's more a friend of my wife - that enjoys shooting. He had shot a number of mine ranging from .22 up to .44 magnum. After never owning a gun himself, he bought a Ruger 22/45 last year.
Now he wants to buy another gun. We went looking with no specific model in mind; just to see what would "jump out at him". Finally he spied and had his heart set on a new Ruger Super Redhawk in .44 magnum. Very good price too. e discussed it and I questioned why that one. Turned out he just wanted a "big hole". Nothing wrong with that. I left for a few minutes to attend to my son's needs and upon returning he had talked himself out of it. He still seems to want one.
Now...here's where I'd like some assistance. He's the type that knows all, about all and can't see that what techniques he uses and what he "knows" aren't quite always correct. You can't tell this to him though. Now, if he can't shoot his .22 very accurately, comments or the amount of recoil my .357, .45 and .44s have and won't re-learn what he "knows", I don't see him being able to really enjoy his soon-to-be-new handgun. Is there a method to subtlely inform him of this in a manner he'll take to? I tried to pursuade him into a .45LC explaining that even with a "big hole" there were plenty of easy-shooting loads. This was to no avail.

 

[MikeJ]

I think you should be commended for caring enough to be concerned with his gun purchase. I also think that if he is in fact a know-it-all he may just have to learn from his mistakes, if that turns out to be the case. We have all run into this type of individual at one time or another. They usually get a little bit of information and immediately become experts. My suggestion is to present him with a variety of options, pointing out the pros and cons as you see them, and leaving it up to him as to what he winds up with. Buying a gun is a very personal decision, as we all know, made up of what we believe to be are logical reasons and some that are purely subjective as in, "man, that sure looks cool." Know-it-alls want to feel that they made the choice so let him and let him live with it. Good luck, Mike

 

[Rich357]

Is he interested in being a better shot?

If he gets a .44 Mag revolver it also shoot .44 Specials.

Rich

 

[fastbolt]

Approach any discussions involving politics, spouses, child-rearing, religion and firearms with great caution and trepidation when it comes to friends ...

That being said ... if he's already shot your .44 Magnum and wants to own one of his own, the Super Redhawk isn't a bad choice. It's a heavy & strongly designed revolver, which will help with perceived recoil management to a degree ...

Odd choice for a first-time .44 Magnum revolver owner ... But hey, how many firearms owners always use the same criteria to decide what a "good choice" is when buying a gun? If people only bought guns that "made sense" for them to own, some manufacturers would probably go out of business ...

As long as your friend practices safe gunhandling when he's shooting it at the range, and enjoys himself, is that necessarily a bad thing? If he can't keep the Magnum bullets on paper, however, as soon as the sheer "exhilaration" of shooting .44 Magnum lessens ... he'll probably either become more intersted in shooting his .22, or improving his shooting skills to enjoy his .44 more ...

You're a good friend ... be there for him if he determines he needs some help at some point down the road, in order to continue to enjoy his .44 ... if he buys one. Better a Super Redhawk than a Taurus ...

How many folks would you suspect buy a .44 Magnum, shoot a box or two of magnum ammunition, and then simply let their prized magnum revolver languish in a safe for years at a time? It's not like he'd be the first ...

Of course, if he becomes tired of it, and you haven't berated and harangued him about it ... he might offer it to you for a "real bargain" ... you being his good friend and all ...

 

[Jim March]

Well...IF he's gonna go 44, the big ol' SRH is a good choice. It's heavy .

44Specials won't recoil much at all in that sucker.

Also: is this going to be a defensive piece too? If so, go buy him some ProLoad "Tactical Lite" 44Mag defensive hollowpoints, they're downloaded to a bit hotter than 45ACP and will be real mild in that piece. www.proload.com

 

[Standing Wolf]

In my experience, people who already know it all won't need my advice until they realize they don't know it all.

I don't know it all myself, of course, but am wise enough a.) to realize it, and b.) to look for answers.

 

[Waitone]

Try the safe and sane training approach.

"Hey, if you're serious about shooting you might as well do it right. Take the NRA's basic shooting and safety courses. Since you're in a learning mode why not get something simple like a .22 or .38 spl. Both are cheap to feed. Then after you get off training wheels get the big bore. Your enjoyment will be significantly greater."

Justa thought.

 

[Gerald McDonald]

My approach is unless I'm asked for advice, I dont give advice.
If you talk him in to anything else other than what he wants regardless if he can shoot it or not, you
will always be told what a bad call you made.
Gerald

 

[fastbolt]

My approach is unless I'm asked for advice, I dont give advice.

If you talk him in to anything else other than what he wants regardless if he can shoot it or not, you will always be told what a bad call you made.

Sounds like the voice of experience ...

Which is also why I said that you should approach any discussions involving politics, spouses, child-rearing, religion and firearms with great caution and trepidation when it comes to friends ... and THEN realize at some point that giving unsolicited advice is often a "Good deed that seldom goes unpunished" ...

And he MIGHT decide some day to sell it to you for a loss if he decides he doesn't like it, and you hadn't either steered him into it, or warned him against it ... Not that I'd take advantage of a friend's poor choice, mind you.

But who would you rather take advantage of him in such a situation ... a friend, or some total stranger?

Seriously, unless you see him about to do something life-threatening ... stand back, nod your head sagely, in a friendly & solicitous manner ... and let him do as he desires. He's your friend, not your juvenile son ...

I once picked up a LNIB S&W 629-4 Classic from someone that decided they shouldn't have bought it in the first place, for $300, which I considered a decent deal at the time ... and that was HIS offer to me. He said he'd paid more than that for it, but realized it was "used", and didn't want to take advantage of a friend. How could I refuse?

 

[Gerald McDonald]

Fastbolt, I was told one time "ya gotta screw your friends because your enemys wont do business with you"

Let him get what he wants, then make fun of his shooting skills, next time he may listen.

Gerald

 

[fastbolt]

I was told one time "ya gotta screw your friends because your enemys wont do business with you"

 

[Mike Irwin]

Simple. I let him make his own expensive mistakes.

Nothing is a better teacher than a slap in the face that comes at a significant financial cost.

 

[arinvolvo]

Let him buy it...shoot it....hate it....and then you come in like a good friend and take it off his hands for only a little less than what he payed.

Sounds like a plan.

Either that, or go buy a cheapo ArmsCor 1911....and then offer to trade him when he doesnt like the ruger.

 

[Mikul]

With people like that, I just go shooting with them. I intentionally shoot their guns and drill holes in the targets with them, usually. If they like the looks of my groups and ask me to help them, I teach. If they don't, I leave them to their own devices. A lot of people shoot just to make noise. If it goes bang, they're happy: more power to them.

 

[cratz2]

My advice is always similar (for target/house guns, not CCW) is to get a 4" 357 Magnum which also shoots 38 Special or a medium to full size 9mm. If they aren't 100% rock solid comfortable shooting, they need all the practice they can get.

To the know it all type, I turn it on them to look like the idiot by saying something like, "I'm not suggesting anything, but a smart guy would get a 38 or 9mm for eash of shooting and low ammo cost." Then if they go in a different direction and it doesn't work out, he made himself the idiot. If he goes and gets something else and it does work out, you didn't recommend against it.

 

[XavierBreath]

I agree with arinvolvo, let him buy it and remain available to trade a 9mm for it. Any attempt to guide a knowitall will be rejected. Don't waste your time.

 

[dairycreek]

AS a friend and a responsible gun owner!

Do your best to explain the pros and cons of any gun. Also do your best to make sure he understands what is being told to him (if at all possible). Doing a responsible job of laying the issues out for him is all you can do. He then makes up his mind one way or another. How he process and uses good information is up to him. You can lead a horse to water..........................! Good shooting