I think I might be in deep water…. Need advice.

[Glockman17366]

Hi Koko!

Well, you could ask him to see his DD-214. That is the actual discharge paper and tells you what kind of discharge it was. I doubt it was a DD, but I do expect it to be less then honorable.

As far as buying the rifle...no, you can't. The best you can do is give him the money to buy his own. Don't screw up your own gun rights.

However, I guess my problem is...he already lied to you and you're not even dating yet. That's not a good start. All guys BS to a degree (it's in our DNA), but that doesn't refer to serious things.

I wish you the best of luck, Koko!

 

[Roadwild17]

I asked my fiance and she says this:

Run don't walk from this guy if he lied already whats to say he won't lie again? And if he can't buy his own gun get away from him. He probably just wants you just to buy guns. I think he sounds really creepy especially since he is so secretive. But I cannot tell you what to do just follow your heart. If you have that feeling that i need to get away then run!!

Jennifer
Roadwild17's fiance

 

[torpid]

It looks like I will be the only one here not to say "RUN".

I actually think you'll be kicking yourself over this later if you didn't stay












...AWAY as far as you can (briskly) walk.

 

[nobody_special]

I'll add my voice to the rest: RUN. Do not listen to any of his excuses. If you've already become emotionally attached, be careful not to rationalize his actions... your heart can lead you astray even if your mind knows better. (Been there, done that, don't want to do it again, EVER. :banghead: )

Think on this: he lied about fundamentals like age, occupation, and education... what sort of relationship do you think he might envision? At the very least he shows a lack of respect toward you, and I can't imagine that such a dishonest guy would take you seriously or treat you right.

And if he's dishonest about the fundamentals, you can be sure he's probably lying about (or hiding) other things... most likely, important and very unpleasant things.

Good single men do exist in this world... go find one.

 

[Abby]

Any man who trips your internal "possible felon" alarm is NOT even a good way to kill a long weekend. Much less a good relationship prospect. Much much less someone for whom you want to buy a firearm.

I suggest the speedy exit so many others have hinted at.

I also suggest, since he's apparently decided you're someone who might have $1,000 to blow on a gift rifle, you watch your six and ensure you have quality locks on your doors.

I'm all about "bad boys." Heck, I married a borderline case. But one wants to ensure they're the sort of bad boys who can pass background checks.

 

[joab]

Since the overwhelming consensus is to run
I'll add this to my never ending quest to end the straw man myth

The best you can do is give him the money to buy his own. Don't screw up your own gun rights.

Please research the law regarding straw purchases.
All you have to do is actually read the 4473 that you fill out and sign affirming the truthfulness of your statements.

Buying someone a gun as a gift is not a straw purchase, even if they can not legally buy it on their own

 

[rkh]

If you kick this guy to the curb and are looking for a date..

well, let's just say that educated ladies that like--much less tolerate--guns in the north-eastern United States are few and far between.

Anyhow, I would advise against keeping a partner that lied about his or her background in such a dramatic way. Good luck, I know breakups are never easy.

 

[cbsbyte]

Sounds like a plot to a good thriller. Maybe after you dump this guy(if you decided to go ahead and divest yourself of him), you can write a book on it.

Major Warning sign blinking here.

"He has lied to me about his age, occupation, and education. (he doesn’t know that I know this… thank you background checks)"

 

[Caimlas]

Here's another (unlikely) possibility - though I will say that I think the advice of "run now" is more likely a possibility: he may have financial and/or past contractual (marriage) problems which prohibit him from purchasing a gun, and he may not have been forthright with you about his personal information for that very reason. He may not have wanted that to come forward if it's still fairly early in the relationship. Hypothetical: maybe his vengeful ex-wife has a restraining order on him, and he's had to "fly under the radar" to avoid the repercussions of it, or maybe he's got someone claiming he's her baby's daddy, and somehow he got into a child support DB and is restricted from purchasing a gun through that (which I believe is possible, at least in some states, but I have no personal experience with any of this).

Also, if you ran background checks on him, how were you able to find out his proper age without finding out if he had a felony record and various other related information? IIRC that information is generally in the background check. Did you do the background check on his SSN, or some other information such as name, and possibly got the wrong person (is his name common?)?

I'd say confront him with his lies, and ask him why he's been doing it. Maybe he told you lies initially thinking it'd never amount to anything (in terms of a relationship), and now it has, and he's stuck between a rock and a hard place trying to decide whether to tell you or not - on one hand, he'd have been lying to you which would anger you, and on the other hand it's going well for the time being (in his mind), so the trade off is probably fairly severe.

Now, you may not want to have anything to do with someone who lies, but I'm just trying to interject the very slim possibility that there may be legitimate, morally upright reasons for the lies.

AGAIN, let me say that it sounds like a situation where you would be best to RUN AWAY, but without actually seeing and meeting the guy (I'm a very good read on character), I'd be hard pressed to make an assessment based solely on the information provided thus far. I'd say get your affairs in order (and your material possessions out of his grasp, maybe change the locks to your place if you suspect he may have a key, etc.) and then confront him with these things in a public place while carrying (coffee shop, maybe).

 

[CA357]

Keep it simple. He's a liar at the very least and he can't be trusted. Drop him like a bad habit. Do it yesterday.

 

[ArchAngelCD]

Young lady, I will give you the same advice I would give my own child.

You have already come up with the correct assessment of the situation, now be smart enough to act upon it. Never trust a liar and never give a gun to someone you don't trust, easy as that.

BTW, it would be a straw purchase and you would be committing a Felony. Worse yet, you may be providing a weapon to someone who is unsafe. This is bad in so many ways but you already know that.

Move on and find someone who isn't a liar and someone you can trust.

 

[Im283]

sounds to me like he is married, at worst just a plain liar, make it unanimous, kick him to the curb, do not answer phone calls , if he knocks do not answer the door dial 911

if you are hard up for a boyfriend there are plenty of legitimate nice guys here on THR, unfortunately I do not know any personally to recommend to you.

 

[drclark]

It sounds like you have enough doubt in this person already. If it wasn't a rifle would you be willing to spend $800-$1000 on him (like superbowl/concert tickets or something)?

If you did like this person enough and trusted him to the point to buy him a gift of that magnitude, you could offer to buy him a highend optic and let him buy the rifle himself.

drc

 

[KD5NRH]

Let me save you some money; buy me a Saiga 12, then buy one for him.

Not to give to him, I mean, but to deal with him if he starts stalking you after you dump him. Give me the other one in case he starts stalking me for getting such a cool gun out of him getting dumped.

Think of it as a consulting fee. I won't even charge you a percentage of the savings.

 

[Soybomb]

After writing this I can tell I need to get rid of him. I guess I needed to see it in text form.

Life's too short to put up with liars, good job on figuring it out early!

 

[gunsmith]

Hi I am a single guy living in almost gunnie paradise, and I am very glad to meet you.
Yes...that guy is a bum, a bum I tell you!
Did I mention I am single?

 

[LAK]

1. and 2. raise serious questions.

3. He has lied to me about his age, occupation, and education. (he doesn’t know that I know this… thank you background checks)

means you need to leave him behind right away. Decisively. Any signs of him following you around, stalking you etc and you need to make the appropriate police reports, and perhaps enlist the help of friends to make sure you have witnesses around any time he shows himself or attempts to make contact.

 

[donkee]

A real gentleman would have offered to buy YOU a new AR.

So, I say end this relationship.

 

[DWARREN123]

I think you kmow the answer, and just wanted to see the reasons stated in print.

 

[1911 guy]

Speaking as a married man

And also having young women in my family I tend to look out for, run hard, run fast and don't look back.

This guy has basically lied to you about who he is. You really know nothing about him. A complete stranger is asking you to provide them with a firearm.

You do not share the same values, lying bothers you, it seems to not bother him in the least. You share a hobby. A hobby he cannot apparently support.

You like him? Some of the most chatty and personable people I know are lowlifes. Some of the best friends I have took a while to warm up to. Character isn't always puppies and kittens from day one.

Despite what Rosie says, there are loads of good guys out there who are looking for Ms. right. A young, single, atractive woman such as yourself has no need of losers. Sever all ties five minutes ago and don't be afraid to get the po-po involved if he tries to follow. Dude's trouble.

You don't want to hurt his feelings? Exactly how much regard has he shown for you?

 

[Fred Fuller]

3. He has lied to me about his age, occupation, and education. (he doesn’t know that I know this… thank you background checks)
=========

That about covers it. You have done your homework, now pass the test- LEAVE!

lpl/nc

 

[Kharn]

Time to hit the road.

Kharn

 

[answerguy]

Drop him like a live grenade.

Is that really good advice?

 

[MilsurpShooter]

Run. Run far away. Buy the AR anyway but keep it.

The secretive... Well certain situations I'd say it was a litle normal (some people recently discharged can't or won't talk about what went on over there) But the gut feeling, trust it, especially if he's lied about age, education, and occupation. Those things, if building a relationship on are nothing to be lied about.

The AR buy for him? yeah no. If you're uncomfortable and if you're not 100% sure, for no reason, what'so'ever buy him a firearm.

Just cut your losses and walk away. It's tough to do, especially if you like him, but you'd be much better off in the long run

 

[Joe Demko]

Unless you have an uncontrollable addiction to personal drama, I can't think of one single reason why you would want this guy around. Buy yourself a gun, not him. Ditch him and then keep the gun handy.