bds.. yes and no..
You send to see if they get the same thing.. if the weight of the bullet changes, then you have something to worry about. If you want to know its true mass, then yes, a certified scale is a requirement. We actually dont really care about mass as much as consistency. If my scale reads 42.2 grs for my most accurate load, and I send you a loaded cartridge and you pull down the powder and weigh it at 42.3 gr.. no biggie. Thats why we do load workup and why we look for those signs of over pressure. If your scale reads 42.7.. then I'm going to go searching for a certified scale. If the two scales are drastically off (I'd say anything more than .3 gr).. then one of them is sufficiently off to be a danger to someone. Even then, as long as you are following safe reloading practices, and you work up.. it doesnt matter WHAT the scale reads as long as its consistent (to a point.. variations of any more than a few tenths and I'm gonna suspect the scale from the get go). If your scale is low, then you're starting at reduced loads vs. starting.. if its high.. then you might be midrange on most powders (excluding some of the most picky like h110) and you're safe. Work up a load like you normally would and annotate what your scale reads... as long as it can repeat that measurement consistently, day in and day out, you're gonna be all right.
My methodology isnt flawed.
you take a bullet.. weigh it at 167 gr (supposed to be 168, but ok, we know bullets vary in weight). I dig through and find a second bullet that weighs the same (also at 167 by my scale). Now I have two samples that measure the same.
Send one sample off to another person. If their scale is within .2 of your measurements.. I'd trust the scale.. if not.. I'd be looking for another scale. If their scale also weighs it at 167 (or 167.1), then you have another bullet that you know also weighs at 167.. use that to check and see if your scale is acting right. You think scale is off.. zero it, set it to 167, and plop bullet on there. If it reads anything different than 167 (your original weight), scale is drifting.. replace.