Need advice about phone harrassment (long)
- Thread starter t-money
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- Dec 19, 2002
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P.I. cost bucks, and a lot of them.
Let the local law handle him first. BTW, it's amazing what you can find if you go to the County Recorder's Office. If you get the critter's name, try to find the high school of graduation and go grab the yearbook. You'll know everybody who knows him. Investigative leads and some may even have kept in touch with him.
Let the local law handle him first. BTW, it's amazing what you can find if you go to the County Recorder's Office. If you get the critter's name, try to find the high school of graduation and go grab the yearbook. You'll know everybody who knows him. Investigative leads and some may even have kept in touch with him.
larry_minn
Member
Agree have his number blocked or ask if the phone company can automaticly forward his calls to Police station. 
I got some calls yrs ago so (with permission) set up my phone to forward to non emerg number at local PD. I would set it up at night when calls would come.
Push it legally. Encourage your WIFE to complain about the calls. Get the nut job into treatment.
I got some calls yrs ago so (with permission) set up my phone to forward to non emerg number at local PD. I would set it up at night when calls would come. Push it legally. Encourage your WIFE to complain about the calls. Get the nut job into treatment.
Devonai
Member
No serious P.I. would agree to this. It's way too risky and at the very least, you won't make any new friends when the cops show up.
When I worked as a P.I., we would always check in with the local PD. Even though this sicko is breaking the law, he won't hesistate to call the cops on the P.I. In his mind he risks nothing because so far, you haven't been able to get him in much trouble. Besides, if you're being that obvious, the neighbors WILL call the cops. The P.I. ends up in the unenviable position of trying to explain to the local PD why he was intentionally causing trouble in their town. P.I.'s want and need cops as their friends.
Continue to work with law enforcement, as frustrating as it is.
sm
member
Don't know about CO. I do know about AR and what I did to stop this very thing happening to a friend of mine.
Contact the Prosecuting Attorney's office. Explain to them the problem. Here you agree to prosecute-no other choice, they are prosecuted. Then a tap is put on phone, also Caller ID is used as evidence. I t doesn't take long to find out whom the caller(s) is/are.
This person I helped was being stalked and her home set up to be robbed. These people that do this are not wired right. Many times its a stranger that has just figured with the looks, money or car-and your followed. Other times its a jilted girl /boyfriend, or ex spouse. Sometimes these people hire people to do this because they themselve have a restraining order against them. RA sometimes just fuel the problem.
She was given a drive by often by LEO's, some marked, some not, Until this guy was caught...took about 4or 5 days. She was then given an Unlisted # at no charge by the phone co. The guy whom was caught didn't fair too well.
He had noticed her jewelry,her mode of dress and car. She is attractive. He became interested in her house and neighborhood --basically greed got in the way of original intent. PA told me "guy wanted to have her , kidnap her in her own house for bit, then steal what he could". Meaning he didn't want a witness afterwards.
How did he find her home-easy. At the car wash, he made a note of her address from vehicle registration. Thankfully she didn't leave house keys on same key ring as vehicle keys. I'd already had that little 'chat' earlier with her.
Be assertive, be polite, see the PA. Didn't cost my friend a dime.
Contact the Prosecuting Attorney's office. Explain to them the problem. Here you agree to prosecute-no other choice, they are prosecuted. Then a tap is put on phone, also Caller ID is used as evidence. I t doesn't take long to find out whom the caller(s) is/are.
This person I helped was being stalked and her home set up to be robbed. These people that do this are not wired right. Many times its a stranger that has just figured with the looks, money or car-and your followed. Other times its a jilted girl /boyfriend, or ex spouse. Sometimes these people hire people to do this because they themselve have a restraining order against them. RA sometimes just fuel the problem.
She was given a drive by often by LEO's, some marked, some not, Until this guy was caught...took about 4or 5 days. She was then given an Unlisted # at no charge by the phone co. The guy whom was caught didn't fair too well.
He had noticed her jewelry,her mode of dress and car. She is attractive. He became interested in her house and neighborhood --basically greed got in the way of original intent. PA told me "guy wanted to have her , kidnap her in her own house for bit, then steal what he could". Meaning he didn't want a witness afterwards.
How did he find her home-easy. At the car wash, he made a note of her address from vehicle registration. Thankfully she didn't leave house keys on same key ring as vehicle keys. I'd already had that little 'chat' earlier with her.
Be assertive, be polite, see the PA. Didn't cost my friend a dime.
I suggest getting CallerID, telling the phone company to block the number he's always been calling from (it will never ring your phone anymore, he'll just get a busy signal, IIRC; or have it forwarded to the cops) and set your answering machine to pick up after 2 rings with *your voice* (not your wife's) saying 'We're busy chasing the toddler around the house again, we'll call you back ASAP' or something like that. Never put 'We're not home' or such on the answering machine.
If he wanted info about you from the phone company, he's probably not smart enough to use reverse phone directory to find out your name. You might be able to get away with just changing your number and not getting an unlisted one (dont put your home phone number on the rent flyers, put your work phone number or your cellphone and then you deal with the renters), since he might not already know your name.
Kharn
If he wanted info about you from the phone company, he's probably not smart enough to use reverse phone directory to find out your name. You might be able to get away with just changing your number and not getting an unlisted one (dont put your home phone number on the rent flyers, put your work phone number or your cellphone and then you deal with the renters), since he might not already know your name.
Kharn
Hmm.
Considering everything else it sounds like a great time to head to the animal shelter and pick up a cute little puppy. Not something vicious, just something with better hearing than people have.
I know you have one kid and another on the way so maybe a big docile yet protective dog would be a great idea. A golden retriever, lab, etc. Something that would be good around kids.
Considering everything else it sounds like a great time to head to the animal shelter and pick up a cute little puppy. Not something vicious, just something with better hearing than people have.
I know you have one kid and another on the way so maybe a big docile yet protective dog would be a great idea. A golden retriever, lab, etc. Something that would be good around kids.
themic
Member
advice is simple:
get a pit bull. preferably one with a nice tie, a J.D., and good references.
get a pit bull. preferably one with a nice tie, a J.D., and good references.
I'm with 444. I have caller ID and do not answer the phone if the number doesn't come up on the display or if I don't recognize the name.
Some companies have an anonymous call rejection service which allows you to refuse calls that normally would show up as "anonymous" or "private" on the Caller ID. You might want to check up on that to prevent someone from blocking his/her number.
I assume that you're varying your routine, right?
Some companies have an anonymous call rejection service which allows you to refuse calls that normally would show up as "anonymous" or "private" on the Caller ID. You might want to check up on that to prevent someone from blocking his/her number.
I assume that you're varying your routine, right?
bogie
Member
1. Caller ID
2. LOG EVERYTHING
3. Call the cops every time the guy calls. Yeah, you'll be a pain in the ???. So?
4. Call the local prosecutor, and hassle them.
5. If the above authorities don't do anything, call the local newspaper/TV/radio stations - you'll be amazed at how fast folks move then.
6. I sincerely doubt that it'd be illegal to post the loser's phone number all over the internet, where people could dial it at random times using untraceable calling cards...
2. LOG EVERYTHING
3. Call the cops every time the guy calls. Yeah, you'll be a pain in the ???. So?
4. Call the local prosecutor, and hassle them.
5. If the above authorities don't do anything, call the local newspaper/TV/radio stations - you'll be amazed at how fast folks move then.
6. I sincerely doubt that it'd be illegal to post the loser's phone number all over the internet, where people could dial it at random times using untraceable calling cards...
t-money
Member
thanks for all of the great advice. I do have two big labs. Of course, their bark is much worse than their bite. My wife tried to talk to those goofballs at Qwest, and they said that unless we release our name/number to the caller (he still insists that it's his computer - yeah, right, telemarketing at 1:30 am, sure) that they can't do anything else. So I called Qwest yesterday, and they said that they would 'trap' the calls, and they also see the phone records where his line was disconnected last April for harrassing us. They said they would kill his line if he called three more times. My response was that we have already been through all of this. So what? Do I just have to plan on going through it every 3-4 months?
Anyhow, I guess wishing this away won't work. Some other things on my mind are:
- I can't take Jen to the firing range to learn how to use a pistol because she is 5 months pregnant. Won't that noise harm the baby? Maybe just dry fire exercises or something. Any advice here is appreciated.
- I guess I will go ahead and change the number. Then if he finds us, I will really know that this is a serious whack job on my hands.
- I'm really trying to stay alert. Yesterday as I left for work, we live right next to a park and I see this kind of nasty looking dude just sitting in his car. So I get to thinking that this my be the guy, and he's waiting for me to leave. So I circle the car aroung the block and just watch him for a few minutes. It was nothing, but I guess you can't blame me for being paranoid.
- My schedule is pretty consistent. Which is a bummer. I go to work at 7:00 and come home at 5:30. I've told Jen to leave all of the doors locked while at home, but it still doen't do much for my peace of mind.
- I will get more diligent and log this stuff when it happens. I've been relying on the police/phone company to cover me (more laziness than naitivity), but as one of you guys put it, the police are mostly there to react.
- I really like the idea of that little pistol safe. I'll look into that. Right now, the pistol (Glock 27) is in the closet, magazine separated from the pistol. This is mostly due to my wife's fear of Caleb (my 3 year old) getting his hands on it. I stated my concerns to her. - For one, what if she is being chased through the house, and has to insert the mag, chamber a round, etc. My second concern is that if there is a break in at night, the sound of a round being chambered just gave away my position. Oh well, I think the safe is the best idea. It seems to solve most of those problems.
- I will certianly keep it legal. As HBK put it, "Never wrestle with a pig" - My big temtpation was just to go see who this guy is - more out of morbid curiosity than 'shoving a pistol in his throat' -
thanks again for all of the great advice, and the concern on your part!
cheers,
Tracy
Anyhow, I guess wishing this away won't work. Some other things on my mind are:
- I can't take Jen to the firing range to learn how to use a pistol because she is 5 months pregnant. Won't that noise harm the baby? Maybe just dry fire exercises or something. Any advice here is appreciated.
- I guess I will go ahead and change the number. Then if he finds us, I will really know that this is a serious whack job on my hands.
- I'm really trying to stay alert. Yesterday as I left for work, we live right next to a park and I see this kind of nasty looking dude just sitting in his car. So I get to thinking that this my be the guy, and he's waiting for me to leave. So I circle the car aroung the block and just watch him for a few minutes. It was nothing, but I guess you can't blame me for being paranoid.
- My schedule is pretty consistent. Which is a bummer. I go to work at 7:00 and come home at 5:30. I've told Jen to leave all of the doors locked while at home, but it still doen't do much for my peace of mind.
- I will get more diligent and log this stuff when it happens. I've been relying on the police/phone company to cover me (more laziness than naitivity), but as one of you guys put it, the police are mostly there to react.
- I really like the idea of that little pistol safe. I'll look into that. Right now, the pistol (Glock 27) is in the closet, magazine separated from the pistol. This is mostly due to my wife's fear of Caleb (my 3 year old) getting his hands on it. I stated my concerns to her. - For one, what if she is being chased through the house, and has to insert the mag, chamber a round, etc. My second concern is that if there is a break in at night, the sound of a round being chambered just gave away my position. Oh well, I think the safe is the best idea. It seems to solve most of those problems.
- I will certianly keep it legal. As HBK put it, "Never wrestle with a pig" - My big temtpation was just to go see who this guy is - more out of morbid curiosity than 'shoving a pistol in his throat' -
thanks again for all of the great advice, and the concern on your part!
cheers,
Tracy
I think the suggestions to acquire a P.I. are good.
I would consider hiring one for one reason. To have a picture of the perp. You want to know who he is and what he looks like should the situation ever progress to him deciding to make personal contact.
Lots of good advice here, especially the logging of everything and maintaining a consistant communication with your LEOs
I'm a little concerned about you sharing the name of your 3yo on here.
You never know just how much research this nut has done on you.
Of course he is 3 so I doubt he would ever be alone in the yard.
Many of us will be praying for this to come to a peaceful and just end.
BTW congrats on the new addition to the family.
I would consider hiring one for one reason. To have a picture of the perp. You want to know who he is and what he looks like should the situation ever progress to him deciding to make personal contact.
Lots of good advice here, especially the logging of everything and maintaining a consistant communication with your LEOs
I'm a little concerned about you sharing the name of your 3yo on here.
You never know just how much research this nut has done on you.
Of course he is 3 so I doubt he would ever be alone in the yard.
Many of us will be praying for this to come to a peaceful and just end.
BTW congrats on the new addition to the family.
ScottsGT
Member
We had a similar situation YEARS back. About 20 or 25 years back. We got the number from the operator (before caller ID), looked up the address and found out where they lived. They got our phone number off a for sale by owner sign on a property my parents had for sale, and they lived nearby. Come to find out it was their kid pulling the prank. A short talk to their parents stopped everything.
Have you tried reverse roll on this guy? Call him back the same way and make his life miserable. Nothing threatning, just the same as he does to you.
Have you tried reverse roll on this guy? Call him back the same way and make his life miserable. Nothing threatning, just the same as he does to you.
45R
Member
I am not sure if the noise will hurt the baby...but the airborne lead from shooting will harm the baby. Lead will harm the babies developing nervous system. I would not advise on taking her to the range.
When you are gone maybe have her invite some friends over....
Call in everyonce in a while to check in on her.........
HTHs
bogie
Member
And if she doesn't have a cell phone, give her one. And have her carry it, to the point where it gets clipped to a towel when she's in the shower.
Work on "insert mag, pull slide" at least 100 times...
Work on "insert mag, pull slide" at least 100 times...
t-money
Member
I called him a few times from my cell phone. Out of the 4 or 5 times I called, it just kept ringing and ringing. But one time he answered, he picked up the phone and it went somthing like this:
him - Hello
me - Who am I speaking to please?
him - Who the &*%$ is this?!!!!!!!!!
hangup. The guy went into rage mode in about 1.2 seconds.
him - Hello
me - Who am I speaking to please?
him - Who the &*%$ is this?!!!!!!!!!
hangup. The guy went into rage mode in about 1.2 seconds.
Glockster35
Member
T-Money,
Sorry to hear about your situation. I have been the victim of prank calls and harassing calls before. I solved it by buying a very loud whistle, and blowing it into the phone everytime they called. I kept one by each of the phones. Worked wonders for me!
Other than that I would probably take a day or two off, and go near his house and see what he's all about. Don't make contact, simply watch and see what you can. If you haven't done so already, get your CCW and carry at all times just in case. Base any further actions off what you see...
I would also try to make contact with the Chief of Police or County Sherrif, and see if they might be able to resolve the departments in-ability to help you out. I think it is bogus.
I do know that shooting while pregnant is not advisable, I have trained many females on both rifle and handgun firing and one question I always ask is if they are or believe they may be pregnant. The noise and the lead can have detrimental results on the un-born child. Stay away from it.
Sorry to hear about your situation. I have been the victim of prank calls and harassing calls before. I solved it by buying a very loud whistle, and blowing it into the phone everytime they called. I kept one by each of the phones. Worked wonders for me!
Other than that I would probably take a day or two off, and go near his house and see what he's all about. Don't make contact, simply watch and see what you can. If you haven't done so already, get your CCW and carry at all times just in case. Base any further actions off what you see...
I would also try to make contact with the Chief of Police or County Sherrif, and see if they might be able to resolve the departments in-ability to help you out. I think it is bogus.
I do know that shooting while pregnant is not advisable, I have trained many females on both rifle and handgun firing and one question I always ask is if they are or believe they may be pregnant. The noise and the lead can have detrimental results on the un-born child. Stay away from it.
Mike Irwin
Member
Isn't there a feature offered by the phone company that lets you block calls originating from a specific number?
Try that.
There are also new types of ammo out that are lead free. Take her to an outdoor range, and use something like WinClean ammo.
Try that.
There are also new types of ammo out that are lead free. Take her to an outdoor range, and use something like WinClean ammo.
Hoploholic
member
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2003
- Messages
- 219
Personally, I would get call forwarding activated on my land line and purchase a cell phone. I would then park near the fruit loop's AO and wait for him to call. As the cell was ringing, I would beat the holy heck out of his front door. It does not matter if he answers or not. He will get the picture. If he does answer, more the better. Let him know personally that you will not tolerate this any longer and the next time it happens you are getting a restraining order and filing a civil case for mental anguish. Tell him it will be no problem to do so as you need to make a trip down to the court house to renew your CCW anyways. It might be a good idea to have someone video the transaction for your protection. Make sure you turn off the mic though as you can't record someone's voice without their consent in many juristictions.
My wife and I both work as mental health therapist and while she works with children, I work with mainly durgs and alcohol cases. We both have had several times when former clients thought it would be fun to harass one/both of us. 1st make a paper trail. Document everything, inculding police reports, get the officers names/ ID everything. This will help back you up in court if needs be.
Change your number. It show you are taking this seriously and making 'his task harder'
Get a restraining order. Again showing concern for your family safety
practice with your self-defense weapons. Hopefully your wife will get raining. If she is willing to use an ice axe on someone, she should be willing to use a gun.
Do a run through of your house. Have a trusted friend come over and ask them "If you were going to break in how would you do it? How would you ambush someone coming into/out of the house?
Check your locks on the windows and doors.
Make a family escape/ hide plan. Who call 911? Use the cell phone, How to get the kids protected also. (I'm fortunate that my room is less than 5 feet away from my childs)
Get a dog. A big ulgy mean looking goblin chaser.
Don't make threats. One guy quit calling our house after my wife said "Jesus loves you." She then began to preach the gospel to him until he hung up. A few call later and the say story, he quit. He did not get the emotional thrill he was looking for and it wasn't "fun".
Get cans of OC spray to keep by the doors. This gives you quick access to something and hopefully gives you time to get to your gun (I regularly carry my .32 in my pocket even at home, so it is usaully not a problem, but I have answered the door after getting out of the shower, etc.)
Change your number. It show you are taking this seriously and making 'his task harder'
Get a restraining order. Again showing concern for your family safety
practice with your self-defense weapons. Hopefully your wife will get raining. If she is willing to use an ice axe on someone, she should be willing to use a gun.
Do a run through of your house. Have a trusted friend come over and ask them "If you were going to break in how would you do it? How would you ambush someone coming into/out of the house?
Check your locks on the windows and doors.
Make a family escape/ hide plan. Who call 911? Use the cell phone, How to get the kids protected also. (I'm fortunate that my room is less than 5 feet away from my childs)
Get a dog. A big ulgy mean looking goblin chaser.
Don't make threats. One guy quit calling our house after my wife said "Jesus loves you." She then began to preach the gospel to him until he hung up. A few call later and the say story, he quit. He did not get the emotional thrill he was looking for and it wasn't "fun".
Get cans of OC spray to keep by the doors. This gives you quick access to something and hopefully gives you time to get to your gun (I regularly carry my .32 in my pocket even at home, so it is usaully not a problem, but I have answered the door after getting out of the shower, etc.)
Intune
Member
I'm with Waitone on this one. I think you may have a serious problem with someone who is fixated on your wife. Take away his ability to hear her voice on the phone & he may seek other methods. I would DEFINITELY want to know what he looks like. You may start seeing him in crowds at the mall, grocery shopping, etc. Not trying to be an alarmist here just concerned for you and yours. Prepare for the worst and if anything or nothing happens you'll be ready.
bogie
Member
Had another thought.
Buy a holster for your wife. The kid can't mess with the gun if it isn't left lying around. Have her carry it with a mag, no round chambered, after slide rack practice, and it'll be just as safe, if not safer than having it sit on a shelf.
and it'll be THERE.
Buy a holster for your wife. The kid can't mess with the gun if it isn't left lying around. Have her carry it with a mag, no round chambered, after slide rack practice, and it'll be just as safe, if not safer than having it sit on a shelf.
and it'll be THERE.
JohnK
Member
You have his name, address and phone number correct? When he calls read it back to him letting him know you know exactly who he is and the police know who he is. Once he realizes he's no longer anonymous he might move on to another victem.
Just something else that might help along with the other sound suggestions that have been made here.
Anyone see a problem or flaw with doing that? It's not threatening (directly) it's not giving away any more information about you, maybe he's a completely over the top nutcase and it won't help, but in that case I wonder if anything short of locking him up will.
Just something else that might help along with the other sound suggestions that have been made here.
Anyone see a problem or flaw with doing that? It's not threatening (directly) it's not giving away any more information about you, maybe he's a completely over the top nutcase and it won't help, but in that case I wonder if anything short of locking him up will.
Roadkill Coyote
Member
[1]. Call the agency that took the report back and keep calling them as long as the problem occurs. Phone harassment is a class three misdemeanor in Colorado. Sometimes officers often don't like to try and make a phone harrasment case, because its annoying and time consuming. Keep calling until they do it.
[3]. Get a notebook to put beside the phone and record the date and time of EVERYTHING, it may be useful down the road.
[2]. Don't call or contact the suspect under any circumstances. If it gets to trial do you want him to claim that it was a two way dispute, and that he was returning some contact on your part?
[3]. Get a notebook to put beside the phone and record the date and time of EVERYTHING, it may be useful down the road.
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