New (maybe) response to the "guns kill" argument

[Nolo]

Despite our constant attention to the gun issue, it seems that no argument comes up as frequently as the "guns kill" argument.

"We should ban guns."
"Why?"
"Because they kill people!"

We've all seen it. We've all sighed (or groaned or whatever) upon hearing it. But here's a new response. Not any more enlightening than others (actually, I think they'll just think I'm insane), possibly, but amusing nonetheless:

Anti: "We should ban guns."
Me: "Why?"
Anti: "Because they kill people!"
Me: "Really? I wasn't aware of that."
Anti: "How can you not be aware of that when so many people die in our streets every day!?"
Me: "Well, I mean, I always thought it was the bullets that killed people."
Anti: "Oh. Well, maybe that's true. But they came out of the gun! You can't fire bullets without a gun!"
Me (Slowly drifting out of conversation and into my own tangent): "Then again, I suppose a doctor would describe it as death by oxygen deprivation in the Central Nervous System or destruction of the Central Nervous System, depending on where you got shot."
Anti: "But that was caused by the bullet fired from a gun!"
Me (Really losing them now): "Or maybe it's really from the brain's failure to deal with destruction and/or lack of oxygen effectively. I mean, surely there's a way for a brain to survive when only a relatively small part of it has been destroyed. Sounds like a pretty deep societal flaw to me."
Anti: "You're entirely missing the point!"
Me: "So the real threat to the fabric of our society is the fact that our brains can't handle damage and lack of oxygen very effectively. I've got it! We should ban all brains!"
Anti: "What!?"
Me: "Or we could just cut all of the bovine excrement out and go directly to the first cause of death with a free will. That would be the criminal."
Anti: "..."
Anti: "You're insane."
Me: "Ain't it wonderful?"

 

[Karl Hungus]

You are insane. Arguing with antis is insanity.




















...although it can be pretty entertaining.

 

[BrianB]

How about "Awww, Bless your heart. You're so cute, just don't talk."

 

[Jorg Nysgerrig]

How about "Awww, Bless your heart. You're so cute, just don't talk."

Was that to Nolo or the anti?

 

[Nolo]

I have no idea...

 

[C-D-P]

You can't argue with em. But you can usually shut them up pretty quick.

Gun facts usually works pretty good.

 

[BrianB]

Was that to Nolo or the anti?

To the anti's.

 

[Nolo]

Oh, okay.
Whew!

 

[Dksimon]

dont argue with them. just act shocked and then walk away.
you cant win, its like arguing with a 6 year old.

 

[Nolo]

This is for my own entertainment.
I like arguing with people.

Does that make me a bad person?

 

[Standing Wolf]

You can dress up ugly, but there's nothing you can do for stupid.

 

[Gudis]

You have to remind your "guns are only designed to kill" person that rapists, burglars, and tyrants are (biologically) people too. One cannot seriously insist that shooting a burglar and shooting a girl-scout are morally comparable.

 

[romma]

You can dress up ugly, but there's nothing you can do for stupid.

C'mon Standing Wolf! You can dress up stupid as well.
Corduroy coat with elbow patches, Scholarly beard, maybe a pair of wire rimmed glasses...

Oh, a tobacco pipe to round out the attire...

 

[Karl Hungus]

Actually, I've found the bast tactic to use when arguing with antis is to let them blab away for a few minutes then say, " Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah... To bad for you this is America and most people don't think like you do. I win. Good day, Sir.". Works every time.

 

[Drail]

Some people really need killing. Desperately. Firearms were invented for a reason. Some folks just can't accept that fact.

 

[Standing Wolf]

C'mon Standing Wolf! You can dress up stupid as well.

Well, yeah, but it's still patently obviously stupid. If you dress up ugly really, really, really well, it can sometimes pass for more or less presentable. Stupid just stays stupid.

 

[mekender]

i offered to teach one of my lady friends to shoot the other day...

she said "NO WAY!!! i hate guns, they kill people"

she then quickly added "rather people use them to kill people"

so i said, "knives are used to kill people but you still use on to prepare food" and i added, "cars are used to kill people and you still drive one"

she didnt say anything after that... at least she recognizes that its actually people that cause the death not the guns...

 

[jakk280rem]

the only down side to this argument Me: "Well, I mean, I always thought it was the bullets that killed people."
, is that you may plant the idea of banning bullets into the brain of the anti where it will take root, bloom, and spread to other anti's. think dandelions. anti gun legislators are already trying to do this in many states. i've found the best response to the "guns kill people" statement is to muster up the friendliest smile i can manage and say" well, they wouldn't be much use if they didn't."

 

[turnyourback]

"So the real threat to the fabric of our society is the fact that our brains can't handle damage and lack of oxygen very effectively. I've got it! We should ban all brains!"


hahahaha.

 

[jackmead]

Do cars drive when they are drunk?

 

[physics]

I think brains were already banned in the 60's.

 

[SCKimberFan]

I always go to the "We should ban cars, they kill more people than guns do..."

 

[Rumble]

IMO, there's really no need to counter the argument that guns are designed to kill, and the "well, technically it's the bullets" or "actually, it's blood loss" are just semantic wrangling (and will be seen as such).

I agree with Drail's point that guns were designed with a purpose (same purpose as any weapon), and they do it very well. There are plenty of other uses, too, but there's a core purpose.

Now, trying to get people to avoid attributing intent to objects is a different matter, and probably a more important project.

 

[yokel]

Generally, longtime practitioners of the "don't look at the scary monster and it will go away" method of crisis and sanity management will never come around, no matter how long we talk, reason, cajole, frighten, reassure, promise, and plead.

 

[Brass Rain]

What was that quote by Clint Eastwood in one of the Dirty Harrys? "There's nothing wrong with killing as long as the right people get killed"?

You could always bring up the fact that more cigarettes "kill" people than guns. At least guns don't "kill" indescriminantly.

A piece of lead the size of a marble or less is pretty humble on its own, but putting an explosive charge behind it makes it a weapon. A steel grill is less than threatening unless you put an engine and four tires behind it.

Such a silly argument. Of course guns don't kill--fingers do. Lob off everyone's fingers and murder would go down drastically. But then a lot of people would be pissed off and rebel. They'd say "Screw you, I use my fingers to play musical instruments or to write or draw. I use them to make medicines and help my fellow man!" And they'd be right. And you'd never get everyone's fingers. People that wanted their fingers enough wouldn't let you have them. They'd run away or hide their fingers. Then only people wanting to use fingers for evil would have them and the good, honest, law-abiding people would be fingerless to stop them!

Wow, I'm stretching out this metaphor really far.