Non-lethal and expedient weapons: Pens and Umbrellas

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chaim

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I am a teacher. Under federal law, no weapons of any kind are legal (even pepper spray) unless your state's CCW permits allow you to carry in school (in which case a gun would be legal, but many permits don't cover knives and pepper spray). MD of course does not allow guns to be carried in school under our carry permits. I hate being unable to equip myself to properly defend myself and those in my charge (30 middle school students), especially as I get older (52) and against a teenage or young adult school shooter my hand to hand skills would be pretty useless.

For years, my response has been a nice sturdy metal pen (like a Waterman) and/or a sturdy cane style umbrella.

Recently, I finally broke down and bought a tactical pen. One came with my welcome package from USCCA when I joined after finally being able to get my MD carry permit. That one has a glass breaker and I wanted a more traditional looking pen so I also bought one from 5.11. However, these have some very sharp and pointed ends other than just the writing end. They seem to be designed to puncture. This may be good in an actual defensive situation, but being marketed as "tactical," with videos all over the internet on using them as weapons, and designed with a blunt but very pointed striking end, am I really any more legal than if I carried a (likely more effective) knife and pepper spray and just kept them hidden? If not and there is a strong (legal) argument that they are weapons, I'm increasing my chances of getting in trouble since I might end up using it as a pen and people may see it.

So, would I be better off going back to the sturdy all metal pen? Something like the Waterman pens and similar thicker pens are relatively heavy and sturdy. Not nearly as heavy or sturdy as these tactical pens, but more than the typical $20 metal Cross pen or similar.

As for umbrellas, I only have a small collapsible right now as my good cane umbrella disappeared a couple years ago and I haven't yet replaced it. Anyone have any ideas on what brand I should be looking for these days? Something sturdy enough to use as an improvised weapon so I have something more effective than my hands if there is an attack (i.e. not one of the common brands that may only hold up to one or two hits/stabs). I like to keep one in my classroom at all times more than carrying it back and forth so it is there even on sunny days, but that does increase its chances of disappearing, so one that isn't too expensive is better (preferably <$50, and certainly <$100).
 
Here is a link to tactical umbrellas. They tend to be more expensive, but if that works like paying six prices for plutonite thermonuclear protection (ie Oakley sunglasses), you'll probably tend to keep tabs on it. https://thepreparednessexperience.com/tactical-umbrellas-self-defense/

A sturdy pen is a great idea. Unfortunately, many options wear names like Smith & Wesson, Uzi or Cold Steel, so may be regarded as a purpose built weapon. A search for metal pens should yield something that may fit your needs, or you could look for a kubaton key ring or pen that might suffice. Finally, a plain old walking stick or cane may provide some help. It's no crime to need walking assistance, and less likely that someone will take it. We have a walking stick thread elsewhere in the non-firearm weapon section.

Edited to add a link to a pen somewhat similar to Odd Job's: https://smile.amazon.com/SULKADA-Ta...qid=1670179741&sprefix=kubaton,aps,169&sr=8-7
 
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You use a cane right? That nagging sciatica in your right leg. There's been threads here about using canes for self defense.

Do you carry a briefcase, backpack or some other bag with lots of pockets? There's plenty out there, some come with pockets for plates.

Pockets can also hide other items like knives, that aren't made out of metal and won't set off a metal detector.
 
I have a, slight, preference for polycarbonate over metal for the pens, and pen-like appliances. That's as much for getting through metal detectors without having to do the back through the oop dance, and subsequent eyeballing of whatever you just put in the basket provided.
I prefer them to have a pocket clip, too. Not only does that tend to make them more discrete, it also allows stashing them better (like in vests, computer bags, zippered portfolios, etc.)

The "keychain" bolsters were also nice (as much for not needing an all-too obvious carbiner) too, especially the ones that did not "look like" a kubotan, but really were. Texas spoilt that by requiring kubotan (and baton) carriers to have current training in their use to be legal EDC. Which is fine for that minority, but less good for the commonweal.

The suggestion to have a cane is an excellent one. If a less-convenient one (from personal experience) if an excellent comfort at times.

Marcel Bich's work of art
1024px-4_Bic_Cristal_pens_and_caps.jpg
has a any number of other uses. If being a bit declassé in some situations.
Which is where its neglected cousin can suit:
70617.jpg
The USG stylecraft is a very anonymous sort of implement. Sadly, the fixed points are no longer as available as the "clickers" (those former were very .sturdy for both "backing" and "striking" utility). The "clickers" are actually better if one is compelled to execute an emergency tracheotomy (better airflow).
 
as much for not needing an all-too obvious carbiner

I carry two real (genuine climbing type) carabiners on my computer bag. Versatile for a variety of uses…probably the most likely in my case, replacing the shoulder strap when it routinely fails….never have had a question going through the TSA…

As a complete aside - Jury Duty this past week - TSA style check, plus visual inspection of the bag and contents…confiscate the P38 can opener on the key ring, but leave the carabiners…they did provide a receipt so I could pick it up…. Jerks
 
Are there any weapons of opportunity that may be available? Can you lock or secure the classroom door? Is there a flag staff, window operator or curtain rod or shade that can be used as a pike? Rickety table whose legs may be detached? Letter opener, presentation pointer or metal straight-edge that might be pressed into service? Automatic center punch could be stationed under podium or in desk drawer to enable egress through window. Neodymium magnets might secure metallic objects to bottom of drawers.
 
Lots of good info above. My wife spent 24 years in “the district”. Some thoughts: have several levels, and options, for SD. Consider martial arts training. Impact weapons are about your only alternative. Rotate: hickory cane, tactical umbrella, tactical pen, frozen water bottle, steel toed shoes, maglite, key ring enhancer. Swap them out so you are not the “guy with the fake umbrella “.
Be aware walking out to your car, have your dominant hand free, do not have a phone in your hand until in your car.
 
I carry two real (genuine climbing type) carabiners on my computer bag.
Yeah, I was more thinking of carabiners used for keys, which always seem to be ripping belt loops or belts up.

I have some synthetic spring clips on the computer bag, as they have any number of uses. Not least of which is corralling the AAA flashlight wanted for coping with dark server rooms or the like.
 
The old style, clear bodied BIC pens work like a champ, and double as a tracheotomy tube under duress….

^ ^ ^
I used to regularly carry one of the
Fisher Space pens, but I couldn't find
refills around here.
I now carry one of the plastic bodied
grey colored Bic Round Stic pens like
has the cap you remove to use.
I know a few prison guards ( I think
they say corrections officer now)
and they say that most of the inmates
that show up punctured got to sample
one of those up close. The cons don't
get in trouble during a shakedown for
a functional pen like they would for a
trazor or a slock
 
I am a teacher. ....
So am I.
I'm an Adapted PE specialist and cover seventeen campuses elementary through high school.
On the day Sandy Hook occurred I came home for lunch. As my microwave ramen was cooking I turned on the TV and saw that tragedy.

My first thought was do my campuses know. I gulped down lunch and took off for my next campus. (I'll visit 3-5 campuses a day).
I get to one of my elementary schools that has what our district calls an ALC or Active Learning Classroom. The students are developmentally less than 24 months. All in wheelchairs. The teachers father is one of my transfer customers so she knows I know guns. As soon as I walk through the door she asks "If I can't have a gun, how do I protect my kids? I can't push five wheelchairs at once!" She had already run down to the gymnasium to "borrow" two baseball bats. Said she didn't tell the PE staff what they were for.

Since that awful day, our school district has trained staff every year on responding to an active shooter on campus. Usually it's the "Run, Hide, Fight" video. Since Uvalde all classroom doors are locked.

Since the Texas legislature makes it difficult for teachers to lawfully carry a firearm, when asked I tell teachers that if they have to fight, be prepared to use everything they can.
In the classroom, a teacher can certainly stockpile ordinary looking items that can be quickly deployed as weapons:
Things that can be thrown.
Things that can cut.
Things that can hit.
Things that make entry difficult

- Bucket of decorative river rocks. Paint them with flowers, stars and animals. Store them under your desk. Put a fake tree or cactus in the center. That fake tree can be a baseball bat.
-While a baseball bat is perfect, so is a mop handle, a 1.5" wooden rod. Again, decorate them so they don't look so mean. A flagpole with a sharp point.
-Scissors
-While a "tactical pen" is ideal, any pen that won't break will work.
-Books
-Backpacks filled with books.
- Dish soap for the floor inside the door.
-Barracade/lock/block the door.

Just like "what gun should I buy?" is important, even more important is training and practice on using what you have. If you haven't thrown a rock overhand, start doing it.
 
even more important is training and practice on using what you have. If you haven't thrown a rock overhand, start doing it.

The big part is stated above….devices everywhere, but where is your knowledge? I am guessing (and hoping) no one above ever needs what we are talking about. That said, how do you deal with an unruly student (more likely). Are you able to use the tools at hand in an escalation of force?
 
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