post number 1000

[Eric F]

for this post I would just like to thank all of the members of THR for all of the knowledge fun and fast days at work I have spent here. Most of you guys(and girls)are great some are funny but all have some sort of knowledge that they share. Thank you all.

I have just one question for the membership. How do I or even can I change my wifes mind on firearms? She is a great shot and does not mind guns but can not stand them being in the house. She is a school teacher and yes it is always about the children. We now have a 2 year old and the guns are locked up with no chance of being gotten into for now. Her whole hangup is that her cousin commited suicide with a gun. It was aparently quite messy and it has stuck with her because some one in her life at the time said if he did not have a gun he would not have been able to kill himself. So how does a guy fight this mentality? She knows I have them in the house and it leads to a fight about once or twice a year.

I would be thankful for any thing that would be useful from any one.

 

[JCMAG]

An irrational fear is a phobia and the last time I checked my psychology manual, the only logical way to deal with one of them is to slowly work up to having her face her fears.

It's very unfortunate what happened to her cousin, but yours is a passion and she will either learn to respect that or you will have to give up shooting... either way, not worth losing your marriage over...

Take it easy for the time being, though, new kid and all. Best of luck, comrade.

 

[Grandpa Shooter]

You already know the answer to this question. Irrational fears will never be countered by or diminished through rational discourse. If that were the case, we would not be in a life or death struggle with the anti-gun faction. In my opinion, the only available course of action is to love her for who she is, arrange for the tightest security you can afford, and let it ride.

When she does bring it up, assure her you have taken every step necessary to protect her and your children (assuming you have more) and that you would never allow her or them to come to harm. DO NOT engage her emotionally on this issue. Stay calm and articulate and avoid confrontational verbiage on both sides. Your calm and articulate responses will do more good than letting it escalate emotionally.

Fears play on and into emotionalism and vice versa. Don't get dragged into it.

 

[hockeybum]

There's more than one way to kill yourself. Bring up the fact about taking too many pills, but be gentle. Touchy subject...

 

[Bones11b]

I have a similar issue with my family as I ride a motorcycle, and we have lost more than a few family members and friends on bikes. As already stated, it is a phobia and should be treated as such. I still get middle of the night phone calls whenever a black sportbike is involved in a major accident in my area. I live in S.E. Florida so these phone calls come rather frequently. I try not to lose my patience, and remind them that I try my best to be careful. Remember when you were younger and scared of the dark? No manner of logic could convince you to turn off that night light? Same difference

 

[esmith]

It was aparently quite messy and it has stuck with her because some one in her life at the time said if he did not have a gun he would not have been able to kill himself.

This is a lot of people's mentality about suicides involved with guns. The fact is if i really want to kill myself, i'd probably do it with a gun. If i don't have a gun, i can easily find another way. I have a whole bunch of lawn care insecticides and rat poisen and im sure one of em would do the trick if need be. And yes, im being very blunt about this.