Proper way to show someone your firearm

[rich0372]

Hi I was wondering if you all could clear this up for me. My in-laws were over for dinner. I was talking to my father-in-law about my new CT laser grips on my Sig 229 who is into guns from way back but,has just started getting back into shooting again. Well I went in the other room to get the gun dropped the mag and cleared it then I put it back in the holster without the mag. I brought it out and put it on the table next to him since he was talking to someone. He then looks at me and says that's not the proper way to give him a weapon I should open the action and hand it to him. I told him that I didn't hand it to him (if I did I would have)I put it on the table in the holster and he if he wanted to should check the gun to see if empty.


Did I not do this right? I always when handing a gun to someone have the action open but, I didn't hand it to him I placed it on the table so I thought it's his responsibility to check the weapon. He is also an experienced shooter and I know he knows proper gun handling.

 

[Treo]

I would have put it on the table W/the slide locked back. I don't think you necessarily did anything wrong , but that's what I would have done

 

[ZeSpectre]

Before I personally will hand someone a firearm...

Semi-Auto
-Drop the mag
-Open the slide and lock it open
-Double check the chamber is empty
-Hand it to the other person butt first
-Make them say "I've got it" before I let go.

With a revolver
-Open the cylinder (or leave the loading gate open on an SAA)
-Hand it to the other person butt first
-Make them say "I've got it" before I let go.

Some folks look at me funny when I insist that they say "I've got it" before I'll let go, but none of my firearms have been dropped so I stick with what works and strange looks be damned.

I placed it on the table so I thought it's his responsibility to check the weapon. He is also an experienced shooter and I know he knows proper gun handling.

It's always the individual's responsibility to inspect a firearm and make sure it's clear and safe.

 

[rich0372]

I would have put it on the table W/the slide locked back. I don't think you necessarily did anything wrong , but that's what I would have done

If it wasn't in the holster I would have done this but, it also was my dining room table and I didn't want the gun to scratch it.

 

[Feanaro]

It's up to both parties to ensure the firearm is clear. Leaving the action open makes things easier but it's not necessary.

 

[Aguila Blanca]

Proper gun etiquette calls for handing a gun to someone such that they can see that it's unloaded and cleared. That means UNholstered, magazine removed, action locked open.

YOU (thought you) knew you had cleared the weapon. He could not see that, because you (a) did so out of his sight, (b) closed the action after doing so, and (c) put the weapon back in a holster.

If scratching the dining table was a concern, you should have waited until after dinner, than handed the weapon to him properly cleared and presented at a time when he wouldn't have to put it down on the table.

I placed it on the table so I thought it's his responsibility to check the weapon. He is also an experienced shooter and I know he knows proper gun handling.

He does apparently know safe gun handling better than you, I'm afraid.

 

[rich0372]

Proper gun etiquette calls for handing a gun to someone such that they can see that it's unloaded and cleared. That means UNholstered, magazine removed, action locked open

But I didn't hand him the gun it was on the table If I handed it to him I for surely would have opened the action before

If the gun was in a case and on the table would this be a problem too?

He does apparently know safe gun handling better than you, I'm afraid

I was never questioning this I know he does. Just didn't think what I did was wrong in this situation.

 

[41magsnub]

As others have said when I hand somebody a firearm the action will be open however that works on the particular firearm. Same with just putting it on a table to transfer.

 

[Ltlabner]

He then looks at me and says that's not the proper way to give him a weapon I should open the action and hand it to him.

1) Fully prepared for the flames about to come my way

2) I am only commenting based on the info available.

But if my FIL said something like this, I'd likely reply something along the lines of, "gee, you are right. Know what, I'll put it back in the safe and you can check out the weapons at XYZ local gun store".

Are there commonly accepted practices for firearms "etiquite"? Sure. I'd likely of handed him the firearm with slide locked back for the reasons mentioned above. However, it's also HIS responsiblity to ensure the weapon is safe everybit as much as it is yours.

If he wants to lecture you and treat you like a 4 year old, he can check out guns on his own. Sorry, I don't suffer blowhards well. He could have just as easily taken the weapon, dropped the mag, worked the slide, checked the chamber all on his little lonesome. Then, he could have casually said something like, "hey, next time to be safe, hand me the weapon with the slide locked back.....nice weapon". No need to give you the big stare down and act as if you dropped a sub-critical piece of uraneum in his lap. Is he going to ground you if you do it again?

Sorry, just my opinion.

I am now fully prepared for the beating I am about to take.

 

[RickH]

I never miss a chance to say "Excuse me while I whip this out".

 

[boggyboy72]

Most people like to see it checked in front of them. I would just check it myself.No big deal but thats me.

 

[TexasRifleman]

If he wants to lecture you and treat you like a 4 year old, he can check out guns on his own

I am now fully prepared for the beating I am about to take.

So if you know 99% of the people are going to disagree with you do you still stand by your statement? Just curious



It's the Father In Law, he has every right to treat you like his child in some respects because you are his SON in law (in this case).

He has spent his life trying to keep his daughter safe and now the guy that married her just pulled a bonehead move (in his opinion) by being less than uber careful with a firearm at the dinner table.

If he wants to put the SON in law on the spot for that the respectful thing to do is apologize and move on.

Not a good way to keep up a relationship by getting into a pissing contest over something like this.

 

[jetman]

You really didn't do anything wrong. It was his problem with your presentation not yours. As is mentioned anytime anyone handles a gun it's their responsibilty to double check it is empty. When I show a friend a new CCW pistol or one I keep loaded, I typically drop the mag, dump the chambered round in front of them to show it is unloaded and drop the slide. On revolvers drop the cylinder unload it and re-latch the cylinder in front of them to see for themselves it is empty. To each his own. As long as SOMEONE makes sure it's empty is the truly important part.

 

[Ltlabner]

It's the Father In Law, he has every right to treat you like his child in some respects because you are his SON in law (in this case).

He has spent his life trying to keep his daughter safe and now the guy that married her just pulled a bonehead move by being less than uber careful with a firearm at the dinner table.

There are two ways to handle a mistake. The op make a mistake, I don't disagree with that.

Method one is to beat the other person into submission and treat them like an idiot. If that is your perfered method of how to "teach" other people, then good luck to you.

The other method is to respond to the situation in proportion of the serriousness of the issue.

Example: SIL is on firing line, has a loaded weapon and for whatever reason turns around pointing said weapon at people. By all means, you should jump all over him like the hammer of thor and make an impression so sharp he never makes the mistake again.

For the dinner table example, it's a mistake and worth of adressing but getting all "badass" and treating the SIL like he was 4 doesn't accomplish much, IMO. You can have far more effect using it as a "teaching moment" instead of an opportunity to lord over your SIL.

Not a good way to keep up a relationship by getting into a pissing contest over something like this.

Not much of a "relationship" if the Father in law feals he can treat his SIL like a four year old. And it doesn't have to be a pissing match if you know how to handle people. I wouldn't get in an argument over it, I'd just make sure "pops" knows that he'll be exploring the world of guns on his own. Then I'd offer him a beer and more chicken-wings.

 

[Baba Louie]

Since you simply set it down, holstered and awaited him completing his conversation, it could go one of two ways, as I see it. 1. You could then unholster and double check condition (even tho' you knew it was empty, he did not) handing it to him allowing him to watch your 'clearing' action. 2. He could ask your permission to check it out, going through the same process. This, of course, assumes that he knows how to operate it... not a good assumption to make with all firearms or all people, eh?

He properly assumed Rule No. 1 was in order and that it was loaded. The etiquette I was taught was the owner or first party visually checks 1st, then hands it over, whereupon the 2nd party also verifies... but that's just because that's the way I was brought up.

No big deal. You do things your way, I do things my way, someone else does it another way... as long as everyone knows the firearm is empty and how to safely operate it.

 

[TexasRifleman]

Not much of a "relationship" if the Father in law feals he can treat his SIL like a four year old

LOL. Find me a father that doesn't think his daughter could have done better

I'm not saying the guy was right, but there are times you just smile and go along. This would be one of those.

 

[rich0372]

Well I actually got up and unholstered it and opened the action and handed it to him after he made his comment ...I didn't argue I just said that it was on the table and that I didn't hand it to him and if was his responsibility to check it. He said that's why he didn't touch it. . He made a comment that I did it before when one time I had a S&W 686 in a soft case that I brought out one day to show him. I left it in the case that time too. I just figured if it's in the case he should check it before he plays with it.

Now if I was dealing with a newbe to guns I would NEVER hand them or show them a gun this way.

 

[P95loser]

Personally, I don't think you did anything wrong... I regularly make sure a gun is cleared in plain view of a person and hand it to them with the slide forward. It's their responsibility to check it.

 

[Chris McClinch]

From my perspective, you did violate etiquette. I'm not a fan of handing someone a weapon without the action open, or of being handed a weapon without the action open. Placing it on the table, I still would have placed it on the table with the action open, on top of a napkin or something if I were worried about scratching the table. Hardly an unpardonable sin, but I'd say your father in law was in the right in this case.

 

[inherentical]

Did I not do this right? I always when handing a gun to someone have the action open but, I didn't hand it to him I placed it on the table so I thought it's his responsibility to check the weapon.

You didn't do anything wrong, but locking the slide back would have been better. I learned the same etiquette as Baba Louie. As far as his reaction, I'd have reholstered and let the old coot stew in his own juices. No need to get mad, just say "Ok" and be done with it.

I have a miserable relationship with my father-in-law, but he's learned a couple of important lessons over the years. He walks lightly around me and watches his mouth in front of my family. They can be tough to teach, but they can be taught, and it's worth it in the long run.

 

[yakkingallover]

I am one to agree with your father in law. Only because he was in a conversation with someone else at the table who may have been uncomfortable in front of a firearm. My buddy I shoot with all the time we clear a gun and will hand them off with fingers off triggers and pointed in a safe direction. Someone who is not comfortable around firearms I clear it in front of them and hand off with slide open or cylinder out with my fingers where the cylinder would be, I have even gone so far as to empty magazines because some folks feel bullets are instruments of doom even in a magazine out of the gun and I would prefer to make them comfortable and want to be around the firearm then support the antis fear of all things free....

 

[theotherwaldo]

My father thumped it into my head that the action of a firearm must be open when it is presented to another person unless that person is about to immediately fire the firearm in question.

It's a good reflex that is more than etiquette.

 

[W.E.G.]

Always show them and TELL them that its empty, then ask them to check it themselves.

 

[Headless]

I don't see a problem. The gun was holstered. If he was un familiar with that gun and was not comfortable checking that it was clear, he could have simply said so. Otherwise, he could lock the slide open without complaining about you handing him a holstered gun.

 

[lvcat2004]

I disagree with many of you, and don't think that the OP was at fault. I would NOT hand someone a semi-auto without locking the slide back, but it was HOLSTERED. I think this makes all the difference.

From there, you could have gone two ways....once you had his attention, you can then go through the actions and lock the slide back, then HAND it to him---which is what you did.

Or he could have asked you for a permission to handle the weapon. I don't think chastising you for showing it wrong on a HOLSTERED/CASED weapon was polite of him. There is a mutual responsibility to make sure that the weapon was safe, and YOU already made sure. From that point on, the recipient has HIS reponsibility to assure that it was unloaded--ultimately, the gun is not going to fire unless two criteria are met...1) loaded/chambered 2) trigger is pulled...and the recipient can check 1) and don't pull the trigger, and it's all right. When someone is doing a favor by showing you a weapon, I don't consider it POLITE to DEMAND that chamber is SHOWN to be empty, the responsibility lies on the recipient of that favor IMHO, or nicely ask that it be shown. Having said that, I'll do my best to SHOW it to the recipient as much as possible, when it is HANDED to him/her.

I have an expensive dinner table, I wouldn't have set my firearm on the table either....I'd say that the FIL was a bit sensitive right there...