It's taken me a while to get my thoughts together and make a post in this thread. RC's death rocked me pretty good.
First, the mortuary link is here. They don't have an obit posted yet but comments are open on the condolences section.
http://www.warrenmcelwain.com/obituary/richard-ballard
Next, I want to share a portion of a PM I received from RC before he went on the ventilator.
As with many members here who formed a personal relationship with RC, he and I had many a long conversation over the years, about family, life, etc. He took care of his wife, who had alzheimers, right up until he was literally on his death bed. He was a strong man and took it upon himself to provide for her care, alone, right up to the point he could not physically do it any longer.
This board and his time spent here was his anchor point during that ordeal as Wilma's disease progressed. It was his way of coping with it. He had lots of friends here, who he would lay it all out to, and who would listen.
RC was an open book. What you saw was what you got. He'd tell it like it is, whether or not you'd like what he had to say. Straight shooter if there ever was one.
His only wish at the end was for another conversation or two with his wife.
It shows where his mindset was before the end. It shows where his heart was.
RC's struggles the last couple of years were tough, but he faced that battle with courage when it would have broken a lesser man. He was calm and brave right up to the very end.
rcmodel said:
I'm not frustrated, mad, or frightened.
Just wanting a solid definitive answer from the doctors, one way or another??
I've had a long and wonderful life compared to most people I know.
A wonderful marriage, and wonderful wife and family.
A fast track NCO path to AMU Marksmanship in the Army. (Easy duty I loved)
A great working carrier with a mostly machine work job I loved & was very good at.
A lifetime of gunsmithing, pretty good knife making, and decent leatherwork too.
(Which is all probably mostly responsible for this lung **** now. But I loved doing every minute of it, and would do it all again anyway.)
Every fast car, truck, motorcycles, and bass boat they made back then that I wanted.
Every hunting, SD, and collector gun I ever wanted.
Hunting & fishing for everything I ever wanted to go after.
Now, that life is gone forever, regardless of whether I get over this or not.
There's nothing left I need or want to do now, except wish they could fix my wife's mind, and my lungs right now. And we could talk about all the good times one more time or two!
But I'm not mad, or sad at all.
I thought I would die in Vietnam, but I didn't.
I thought I would die on a super-bike or fast car of the day, but I didn't.
Like the man said.
If I had known I was going to live this long back then, I would have taken better care of myself!!
But I'm not mad, or frightened.
Just resigned to accept whatever they tell me (hopefully today) and get on with another stage of life.
I have a tremendous amount of respect for RC. It's not just what he shared with us, knowledge wise. It's that he shared *everything* and left nothing out. He didn't cut out or filter the ugly parts, or the sad parts, or the happy parts. You got him, the
real him, full time, all the time.
Few men could lay claim that they are such a caliber of honest, truthful man.
Fewer men could claim it and have it actually ring true.
RC was one of those rare men.
People say we are diminished by his passing. This is absolutely correct.
But, I say we were enlightened and made greater by his living, and as evidenced by his attitude right up until the very end, even in passing there was another lesson.
I hope to face my fate some day with the same matter of fact, stoic attitude he did, and if I ever face hard times in my life as RC faced with his wife's disease, I would be proud indeed if I could summon even a
fraction of his strength and determination.
He was indeed one of the greats, to the shooting community. Not just through sheer volume and quality of information exchange, but through the very example he set, while living and going on about his life.
I hope that by sharing that last PM with his words spoken in private, those of you who knew him on a personal level, or grieving over his loss, will find the same comfort they have given me over the last few days. That PM was in response to a PM I sent trying to console him. He turned it right around and consoled me! Such was the man.
I have tried to pass those words on to those who I know knew him on a personal level, but after reading through this thread I now see that (after 320+ posts) that was a woefully inefficient method of delivery.
The love and respect people had for RC was real, and palpable here.
Live good lives, do good things, pass the knowledge and values down to the next generation. That's what RC taught me.
My best thoughts to all of you. Follow his example and help others.
-T