stalker

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morons back

well, he quit for less than a week. I was hopeing for the best. but planned for the worst. My girlfriend took a short course in self defense that was offered at her school, it was good timeing for such a course to be offered. between the OC, the cell phone and the self defense I think she is as prepared as can be. the paper trail has been started. the stalker knows what is happenning and knows that there will be consequences for inapropriet actions.
 
OK there should be no doubt that this guy is dangerous. He knows that you are on to him and has let you know that he knows with his phony apology act. Time to step it up. What ever you do pick the time of any confrontation by being aware of where you are and who else is there at all times. In other words always be around potential witnesses.

Get the Restraining order if you see him following you call the police, if he drives by her work call the police, if you here his car near her house call the police. The reason most ROs don't work is because the victim waits too long to call. Get a cell phone even if you don't have a service have it on her at all times any time she sees him near her she should call, but not let him know that she's calling. If you can't afford one or can't find an old one I have some somewhere around here I can send you one.

I still maintain my position of you not initiating any conflict and any contact should be in a public place on your turf and the only way to assure that is to stay on your turf not his. And should be low key and as visually and audibly non threatening. Witnesses will be your best friends or worst enemies.


Above all remember you can't protect her's if you are trying to use cigarettes to protect your own "virtue" from Big Bubba and his band of butt buddies.
 
I did the FTF on a gent when in College. I talked to Police/Campus Security before hand. I was VERY Polite to him (the worthless POS) but very clear that next time we (talked) I didn't plan to say anything.
In hindsight it was VERY DUMB
Lots of ways it could have gone wrong. I am a big guy and have had (talks with two gents in this type of situation. Been DANG lucky. I always seem to let myself get involved in this crap. I can recall another two gents who I (non-verbally) dared to take a swing at me..... Thing is they were MARRIED to the person I was protecting from them. (I detest wife beaters) Worthless POS don't have the guts to take a swing at anyone who will hit back. Folks say the more polite I get the more worried they get. :) :)
I skimmed the posts. Things like this are never over until one of the parties MOVES far away.
Document,document/etc
 
nothing new has happenned. the stalking has become spotty since his last contact. It seems he follows me and her when we are together the most. that part actually makes me feel better. I don't like the idea of him following my girl when she is not with me. I'll be with her quite a bit this weekend so I'll post anything new on monday.

thanks for the concern.
 
You say that you don't want to do the tough guy thing.
What if that ends up being the right thing?
I am not going to tell you what to do because I was in a similar situation myself recently. It ended that I didn't have to harm anyone.
I can see how a face to face could lead to violence but there is nothing wrong with violence if the right people get hurt.

How close is this girl to graduation?
I am thinking that beating the snot out of the guy wouldn't work anyhow and you can't just shoot him. Typically the cops are no help.
I would try to get her away from the area.

Still, this guy has harmed others, right?
Why did he get away with that?
It isn't right to let someone like that free to harm the next person that comes along.
I think that no matter how you go about it, you have to keep the police involved, especially with her still being a minor and him being older.
Try to get the other girls to file complaints against him.

Most importantly try not to do anything that you will live to regret.
 
like I said before I won't use physical violence unless I have too. not that I wouldn't do it at all. I'm just trying to stay away from getting in this guys face just to make myself look all macho and stuff. thats not the way things get done and thats the way to get charges pressed against me. I said if I catch this guy doing anything inapropriate then he better pray to The Almighty God to save him. if I don't catch him in the act then I can't do anything but put my shoulder down and hunker down for a court case. I can only be a witness in said case because I am not related (yet) to my girlfriend.
 
I have thought alot about your situation lately because it has brought up some old memories. I think you have the right frame of mind don't look for trouble but you should be ready for it.

I am also beginning to think his focus has changed. You say that he seems to only follow when you two are together. Assuming that she is aware of her surroundings, I would say that he is issueing a direct challenge to you.
For now that's good let the loser think he's winning. However there is a possibility that your maturity will be mistaken for weakness so be prepared for a one on one. Which is why I say to be where you want to be at all times not where he would want you to be.

Something I learned the hard way many years ago ( after my passive tendancies faded and before they came back) a small guy, say 5'7" 160lbs can take down a much larger guy, say 6' 210lbs with a push kick to the leg just below or just above the knee leaving the big guy on the ground crying like a girl, with little or no outward signs of injury, and able to predict the weather for the next 10 years at least.
Just a thought


And by the way it's gonna rain tomorro
 
he's probably changed his focus to following you when you're together because he wants her to see that he's not afraid of you or your warning. definately stay on your turf. did you call the police when he started following you after you asked him not too?? also has he called you or her recently. these two items may shift it to harrassment and warrant police action. just be sure to keep them informed. that way if anything does go down they have several documented calls from you or her about this guy being a problem, whether it was enough for them to take action at the time or not. i'd also tell your girlfriend that if he approaches her at all, to use the oc without hesitation and yell/call for help.
 
well I spent almost the whole weekend with my girlfriend without seeing the guy once. hopefully this'll be permanant. we're still prepared but hopeing that he has move on.
 
I was hopeing and praying that I would never have to post on this thread again, but the time has come. this is directly related to the stalker though so here it goes.

earlier in the thread I had mentioned her ex-boyfriend who was rather mental. He had threatened me and threatened her, the police had been called but nothing ever materialized. he then move to florida with some family. he was the kind of guy that all you aprents dread and lothe. he comes out as a gentleman and opens the doors and buys flowers and candy for a girl and then turns it all around and becomes a complete jerk. he has absolutly no respect for anyone. he believe the world owes him something. his family is on welfare and he is a highschool drop out. but as I said before, he comes out as a really nice guy when you first meet him. so I was sitting down with my girlfriend on her break at work. and I look up and see him come walking up to the front of the convenience store. I said "holy crap" in a wispered tone. my gf looks at me and only gets the first part of "what?" out of her mouth before she sees him. I was very shocked, after all, last I had heard he had joined the marines in florida. so he locks his eyes on us but gets what he needs and pays for it, nothing wronge so far. he then goes towards the door and goes out. I thought "good he's gone without a scene". then he pokes his head back in the door and says to my girlfriend loud enough for the whole stoor to hear "GOODNIGHT YAH LITTLE B****" .I was infuriated but I know that I can't really do much yet. so that was that. then he goes outside and comes back in and yells a phrase I won't even post with editing.
at that point my girlfriend walks to the door, with me right behind her. and asks (very calmly)
"what are you trying to start?".
he says
"same thing I've been trying to start for the last eight month but have been too far away"
she says
"just leave"
he points at me and says
"wanna start this now? I got a thing or two to show you"
I said
"there is nothing to start"

he then goes on to ask me if I knew where my gf was on wednesday night. I just kept a completely expressionless face.
he then tells me that my gf was with him and they were (expletive)
I just shook my head.
the fact of the matter was that I was with my girlfriend until 2:30 in the morning on wednesday night. he was just trying to get me mad so that he could start a fight with me. that kind of crap doesn't work with me though so I just shook my head. well, by that time my gf is in tears and very emotional. she goes back inside to the break room. I follow as far as I can, the break room is employees only. ex-boyfriend leaves. so then I stand outside the break room and talk to the managers that are on duty about the situation. they assure me that they will call the cops if he comes back and makes a scene. I told them that I had dealt with this punk before and to expect him to come back. just as I said that he drives back up. he comes in but does not say a word, just buys something small and leaves. he does this three more times. I then ask permission from the manager to go into the break room to comfort my (still crying) girlfriend. he says yes. so I go back with her and help her as best I can. then we go out and she goes into the bathroom. as she is in the BR in walks X again. she walks out of the BR, gives me a hug and goes back to work, totally ignoring him. so he buys a bottled water and walks back out. the manager and I walk outside as well. I was going to my car, the manager was making sure he did not make a scene. X pulls the car up beside me and tells me to follow him so that he "doesn't start anything here". do I have stupid tattooed across my forehead or something? I just told him very politely that there is nothing to start. so the manager tells him that if he continues to harass his employees he will call the cops as soon as he enters the parking lot. X yells a few more expletives and also points out the useless fact that he had bought a bottled water. so I get what I need and walk back inside with the manager. that was the last I have seen X, that was about 1 hour ago. I am going to be picking my gf up from work soon and I am not far away.

and so the saga continues. X is back from florida. the gf still carries a cell phone and mace. I am never in condition white. since the paper trail has already been started I guess the only thing to do is call the police everytime he comes by.

ps. X and stalker are good friends. coincidence? I don't think so.
 
Get a cell phone with a built in camera for her to carry.Remember the woman that was kidnapped while talking on the phone?I don't remember her name right now,but they recently found her body.If she had a phone with a camera it might have helped.Your girlfriend needs to be very alert,and carry the phone on and in her hand when out of the house-NOT BURIED IN A PURSE.Rapists thrive on the power,fear and control of the victim.He feels powerful instilling fear in the both of you.He will not stop raping until he is locked up or killed.He has been able to watch the both of you so he knows your habits.Have her practice eye jabs with you.Also when going to the car have the keys already out,and held in such a way as to enable jabs to eyes,throat--in the hollow below the adams apple is a good target.
 
"wanna start this now? I got a thing or two to show you"
Click to expand...
I still believe he has changed his focus to you, if he can hurt you are drive you away then he has won.
Also like I've said before never be any place you don't want to be.
I am starting to agree with those that I called hotheads before, the time for street justice is quickly approaching.

And I would compliment you on your restraint in this situation, I know it is hard
 
like I said before I won't use physical violence unless I have too. not that I wouldn't do it at all. I'm just trying to stay away from getting in this guys face just to make myself look all macho and stuff. thats not the way things get done and thats the way to get charges pressed against me.
Click to expand...

Our world hasnt quite been liberalized by the media YET to make this true. They have done a great job of brainwashing our youth into honestly believing that being a MAN is "trying to look all macho and stuff" and that it's a bad thing. The fact is that THIS guy is getting his way because of your unwillingness to deal with the matter in a decisive manner. He senses your weakness and obviously has no fear of you whatsoever. Why would he ever stop doing what he is doing now?

I'm not saying you have to get in a fight with this idiot. But, CONFRONTING someone is what people do it's part of life. If it were me in this situation i would certainly not outright go and fight this clown (not worth it). But i would make it clear and upfront, using small easy to understand words that if he kept up his activities that he would have a problem.
 
The time is not quickly approaching for street justice... its arrived. Enough of this cat-and-mouse garbage, you have to gird yourself for combat with this guy. If you do not, sooner or later he will hurt or kill you. Since you have started documenting the threats and now you have independent witnesses to HIS manic behavior, you can set the wheels in motion to legally protect yourself. Get ready for a helluva fight, cover all the bases needed for a legal self-defense and when he tries to get you riled up next time, you turn the tables and get him so angry(must be out of earshot of others) that he attacks you. Then do your level best to wipe the street with him. If possible, have a trusted and stalwart friend in reserve to come in and finish the job if you can't. There is nothing polite or law-abiding about what I suggest. I am talking about stomping a mudhole in his ass, with the help of others if needed. Teaching him a lesson that says LEAVE ME ALONE. This isn't fighting fair, but I don't believe there ever is such a thing. In any conflict seems that there is always one side that is a little better trained, or stronger, faster, or more motivated than the other. I am using harsh and truthful language about your personal situation this because it is time for you to do a distasteful task... taking out the trash. You had better be prepared for fall-out from any action you choose, violent or otherwise, because there will be fall-out. It is a choice only you can make. Good luck, however you fix the problem.
 
Tell the X that your GF had gone out with the stalker a couple of times and that he is now stalking her…(yah I know its not true but it could keep "Freddie and Jason occupied) and you are protecting her. Spread the word on the streets that the X now thinks that he is not gay and his been giving your GF a heard time wanting to get back together. :rolleyes:

Seriously…The sooner you stand up to these guys the better you will be, who knows, she may decide that she needs a tougher boyfriend.
 
I can't find a single thing wrong with Ironfist's tactical suggestions.

When things have escalated to direct in your face confrontations it is time to respond to the imminent threat that he poses. And there is no reason to let him chose where.

I also like Ironfist's suggestion about turning the tables ,think Clint Eastwood in the bar scene with Bo Svenson in "Heartbreak Ridge"

Self defense is not about macho it's about preserving your dignity and quality of life. And sometimes some people just deserve a good solid ass whippin'

I am normally a pretty passive guy up till my or my family's health and well being is threatened. At that point it's anything goes and I don't stop till my point has been made
 
Thank you joab for understanding what I was trying to get across in my post. I dislike macho posturing as much as the next guy, and its something I try not to do. My previous post is just how I see the world. I started Bouncing when I was 19 and retired when I was almost 37. Thats 18 years of getting paid to break up fights and toss drunks and rowdies out of clubs. The truth I have learned is... fighting sucks. Its painful, scary and messy and alot of times makes a problem worse... but sometimes you have to do it. I am truly the last man to initiate a conflict with someone if its not needed. You flip me off in traffic, I will let it slide and won't escalate the problem. Call me a name and thats all it is... empty air. A waste of your time, not mine. If you touch or threaten me or my family, then I will deal with the problem. Whatever needs to be done to make it thru intact will be done. I am not shy about sucker-punching, head-butting, grabbing nards or getting a couple of burly Bouncers to dogpile a knucklehead who is being a threat. That ain't heroism or honorable behavior, its just how things need to be done on rare occasion. I always liked talking my way out of a problem with a bad guy because then I wouldn't have to call the Police AND then put it down in the incident book at the end of my shift. Now that I am out of all of that I hope to go thru the rest of my life never having to hurt another person, but if it is thrust upon me I will end as quickly as possible. The guys I don't like or trust are the ones who brag about how great it is to beat the hell outta someone. These are usually the same guys who will cut and run when the time comes to stand up and take of business. Get into it, get it done, be brutal if needed and then get out of the encounter. That philosophy has served me well over the years. Anymore I think folks need to sit on a front porch swing in the evening, take a breather and drink some lemonade... they would calm right down and the world would be a little easier to live in. Anyone want a glass with me? Just my two pennies worth.
 
i'll try to keep this short and sweet.

imho you've let this go too far. it's obvious that this guy isn't going to quit. he's just pushing and waiting. deal with this however you like, but if it were me, i'd be prepared and the very next time he confronts/threatens you...i'd ACT.

otherwise you're setting yourself up for his turf/terms and possibly friends.
 
Rereading your posts I just realized something.

Your talking about 2 different guys? Who may or may not be in alliance?

Can't the police do something about the ex since the relationship is less than a year old?

Do you have any real good discreet friends?
 
agreed

I agree with what has been said for the most part. and Ironfist, you would be happy to knowq that I agree with your fighting tactics, I avoid fighting when possible but as fart as I am concerned, when its on ITS ON. all is fare in love and war. to me this involves both. in a post on another topic I mentioned I had just reciever an uzi barrel. its 20 inches long with a thick "handle" on one end and heavy steel walls. it resides on my pasender seat just waiting to bash his teeth in. I also carry my work knive(s) 24-7.

I know that he has shifted to focus on me, he said so in no uncertain words. I told a friend, if he starts something phisical call the cops but they better get there in time to save his butt. because there is nothing I would like to do more than beat the living crud out of this worthless piece of crap.
 
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