The other customer in that particular shooting bay was shooting four lanes away from her. He had come out to acquire more ammo, and upon reentering the bay he exited immediately and said, "I think someone just shot themselves." (someONE--THEMSELVES: commonly spoken, but obviously incorrect when written. Sorry, minor peeve.) A coworker of mine ran out from behind the counter and into the shooting bay, saw a young woman lying on the floor, and left to get help. I walked up--oblivious to the situation--as he was leaving the bay.
I had been scheduled to work at 9:30pm but arrived an hour early, intending to shoot. It was busy so I clocked in and began working. I was asked to do a "bay run" which involves emptying the garbage cans in each of the three shooting bays. I had finished two of the bays, walked over to the third and opened the door, when suddenly I looked up and saw a coworker standing before me saying, "Dave, don't go in there." This was the guy who had gone in and had come out to get help, having exited through a doorway adjacent to the one that I had been about to enter. Had I been there 30 seconds sooner I would have been the first one to stumble upon this girl.
I had on eyes and ears so I took off my ears and asked, "Why?"
He simply said, "You don't want to go in there."
I looked past him, toward the front counter, and saw many very serious faces looking in our general direction. They weren't looking at us but at the shooting bay itself. I was standing in the outer doorway of the bay, with the door open, so I looked into the bay through the window of the innermost bay door (each bay has an outer door, an entryway, and an inner door). I could not see anyone in there. This puzzled me because I had been wondering if perhaps there was an angry patron creating a dangerous situation in there.
Suddenly, an instructor rushed past us and into the bay. I walked around the corner to where the observation windows are and looked inside. I could see a woman's body lying prone on the floor, with her feet pointing downrange. Her face was pointing away from me. She had black hair. What I thought might be blood on the ground was actually her hair. She did have a patch of blood on the back of her left shoulder, which I could see clearly on her white shirt. I thought maybe she had fainted or had suffered a seizure, but the blood on her shoulder made me think that she had quite probably been somehow struck by a bullet, either directly or by way of a ricochet. From what I could see, nothing really made sense to me. The instructor shouted out that we needed paramedics and the cops. Asking for the cops was a good call, for at that point no one knew anything. I guess whenever firearms are involved in an injury accident it is best to inform the police. Another coworker, on the phone with 911, said that the dispatcher wanted to know the woman's injuries and condition. I entered the bay and asked the instructor. He said, "Head injury. She's bad, but she's breathing." I exited and relayed the answer to the person on the phone.
The police arrived very quickly, as we are located right behind their department. I saw my coworker standing outside looking rather distraught. As I walked outside to join him I saw cops EVERYWHERE interviewing everyone. No one was allowed to leave. Many (all?) of our customers were brought into a classroom in the back of the store to provide statements and contact information. All of the cars in the lot were matched to either customers or employees. None of the cars belonged to the unconscious girl lying in the range. The couple that had originally been there accompanying her were nowhere to be found.
I was numb that night. Part of me viewed the situation simply as an event that occurred; but beneath that "layer" of consciousness was an awareness that I was actively suppressing many feelings. I could identify many feelings, some of which were contradictory. The result was that all I could actually feel was confusion. I took the next day off work (from my "real" job--which is funny because my coworkers and I there often talk about leaving that job and getting a "real" job) because I didn't want to do what I knew I would feel compelled to do; and that is to talk to anyone and everyone about it. I needed time to just let it sink in, to think about it and allow my feelings to surface.
Don't misunderstand me; I am sad that this young woman, 23 years old, ended her life. I am resentful that she CHOSE to commit this act at a public place. Not only are her friends and family saddened as a result of her actions, but many people otherwise unacquainted with her are also effected after being unwillingly subjected to her display of utter selfishness and extreme self-indulgence. I also resent that she CHOSE to utilize a place where I, and many others, enjoy as a place of hobby, sport, and relaxation. She CHOSE to use a gun--something I have enjoyed and admired my whole life. Her actions will be used by some as further "proof" that guns kill people. I am aware that guns are used to kill. This incident is different only in that it happened where I work, while I was working, and in relatively close proximity to me. Had she been murdered by another, it would have been horrifying and shocking that someone took her life. But, in all truth, she was murdered, only she did it to herself. This was planned out. Somehow she convinced her friends to leave her there, maybe saying that she was expecting other friends to arrive.
What I've told non-shooting friends is this: Imagine a trail in a park which you walk in order to get away and relax. One day while walking this trail you look up and see that a woman hung herself from a tree alongside the trail. That is how I felt.
BTW, I feel all the normal feelings too, such as pity, sorrow, compassion for her and for her family. I just wanted to discuss some of the unusual feelings that I would not have predicted feeling.
